Welcome to Portlandia, John McAfee

"My life is sort of weird. I don't back off from things."—John McAfee, the newest weird resident of Portlandia. The software millionaire is on the run from police in Belize, and says he plans on staying in the Oregon town for "a few years." A local TV news station caught up with him for an interview. At Stumptown coffee, of course. Perhaps Fred and Carrie will befriend him.

Guys, this interview is pretty good. Snip:

John McAfee: Oh the media has no clue. Last night I actually started putting photos up of teams I used to collect information. That’s the first time I’ve done that.

[KATU reporter Emily Sinovic]: To collect information on what?

McAfee: On what was happening in Belize. The links between the Belize government and Hezbollah and the giving of false identifies of Hezbollah terrorists. They’ve been doing that for years.

Sinovic: What is it about Portland that makes you feel safe?

McAfee: If anybody is after me, it will be the Zeta cartel, Hezbollah. I can’t imagine Hezbollah showing up in Portland without being noticed. I mean, this doesn’t look like a place where they would fit in. Or maybe they would. I do not know. And I’m farther away from any other place in America from where the problem is.

The latest post on McAfee's crazyblog: "The Girls."

McAfee: "A brief introduction to some of the the girls who... lived with me full time."


  1. So… Belize – Hezbollah, huh?  Is there any way that could be relevant, interesting, or even true? 

    Edit: Not snarking, just asking.

    1. Kind of makes me want to walk by his house in a keffiyeh every couple of hours.  Maybe a bullet-proof keffiyeh just to be on the safe side.

    2. It sounds far fetched and maybe not the appropriate terrorist network, but mass quantities of opium/heroin make it to North America somehow.  Wouldn’t surprise me at all if there was a grain of truth somewhere in the fog of McAfee’s statements.  Also, review how the Kosovo Liberation folks funded their weapons/ammo purchases.

    3. So… Belize – Hezbollah, huh? Is there any way that could be relevant, interesting, or even true?

      Hezbollah actually does have a well-documented presence in Latin America.  Congressional Report on its presence in Latin America:  http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/CHRG-112hhrg72255/pdf/CHRG-112hhrg72255.pdf

      Hezbollah affiliates using Belizean passports:  http://7newsbelize.com/sstory.php?nid=23396

      Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t really out to get you.  And for the record, McAfee’s an American outlaw hero.  I hope Alex Cox directs the movie, or maybe Larry Clark.

      1. And for the record, McAfee’s an American outlaw hero.

        We must really be getting to the bottom of the “outlaw hero” barrel.

  2. I have never been to Portland. I almost got a work experience job there once so I often wonder what might have been. But I get the impression the place is a little bit weird. Is it about to get a little bit more weird?

    1. It’s awesomely weird and terribly mundane depending on how you choose to interact with the culture while you’re here.

        1. Wouldn’t that be true of pretty well anywhere with more than 10,000* people living in relative proximity?

          *to pick a random cut-off

      1.  Nicely put. If you drive around in a car and stick to the malls and big box stores (they exist) you won’t run into Teh Weird.

        On the other hand, if you innocently go to the right neighbourhood you might see the Unipiper roll by.

  3. They always said the dream of the 90s was alive in Portland, and there’s nothing more 90s than that hair.

  4. I’m not saying McAfee is sane, but there is some evidence that Hezbollah operates in Belize, and a shit-ton (technical term) that they operate in many areas of South America, which is also a fund-raising hub. (Not to imply that Belize is part of South America).

    1. Many South American journalist claim that the Hezbollah “threat” is kinda inflated by the US government to justify interventions and operations in the area, mostly in the region known as the “Triple Frontera”/ Tri Border, between Argentina, Brazil and Paraguay. It used to be a semi regular media topic pointing out that now that the 70’s to 90’s dictatorships are over, during which the US could basically roam the region freely, the local governments are no longer amicable to the idea of CIA or US military being around so, they had to more or less come up with a credible reason to be around. The bombings of the Israel Embassy and the Jewish Charity in Buenos Aires in the 90s gave the US all the context they needed to run with the Hezbollah is in South America! claim.

      Not that they couldn’t be, but probably not at the level of threat the US government makes it appear.

      ETA: Here’s a good (and long) article on the role of the US as the factotum behind the “Hezbollah is in South America!” panic.


      (Link to PDF). It’s not that I blindly believe the assertions made in this article, it’s that they align with the investigative journalists whose work I respected immensely, who were saying similar stuff while I was still living down there in the 90s.

  5. As fascinating as all of these stories are, does anybody else wonder if a few weeks or months from now, we’re going to be having the “Was the media compliant in pushing John McAfee over the edge?” conversation after something terrible happens to him as a result of his seeming psychosis?

      1. It’s going to be more like “if we all saw this tragedy coming, why was he allowed to stockpile the guns he used in the murder-suicide?”

    1. This is along the lines of what I was thinking when I read this. We are laughing at what looks for all the world like a schizophrenic break. He’s an incredibly wealthy and well-armed man, who has legitimate persecution to be concerned about. My concerns are for those that are close when he goes all the way into his fantasy. This is not going to turn out well. 

  6. Living the dream! Jokes aside, either we’ll never hear anything about him again, or he’ll pass away from an unfortunate ‘accident’ (drugs would probably be the most believable in this case).

  7. Just to add to his excellent personal profile, this is a quote from the Oregonian on Sunday, addressing his cohabitation with many, many ladies:

    “He said he lived with seven to eight women in his home in Belize.

    ‘Living with one woman is horrific,’ he said. ‘Living with two is nightmarish, but you get past five and suddenly they’re entertaining themselves, really.'”

    1. Counterpoint: Native Portlandian here, and I think calling it that is fine. I’ve been using it for years myself. No need to be so humorless.

      1. For the record, “Canuckistan” is perfectly fine too, when applied to its respective geopolitical entity.

      2. ahhh, the “Native Defense”, well played.

        also “portlandia” is the name of a statue, not our city. 

    2. Agreed, we live in the 29th most populous city in the USA, not its 2nd largest copper repoussé statue.

  8. Am i the only one who doesn’t find him particularly crazy in that interview? But on the other hand… If he’s doing all this to hock a book, I’m getting seriously inclined to buy it!

  9. Wow…this is getting good.  Downward spiral and hit rock bottom.  Is he back on the rise again?

    1. Well, it’s not hard to rise when you’re on the run from a murder. He’s not a well man and with all the enablers around him, he’ll be back to drug and other crimes in very little time.

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