Anything that’s left to you in trust, you already own, so it doesn’t count toward probate. If the house and the accounts were in trust, you probably won’t make the probate threshold unless there’s some reason for the courts to take note of the chattel property.

Also, it sounds like you were an adult at the time, probably earning your own money.

The big problem for parents of dependent children is covering all possible tragic events: for example, what if both parents are in a coma, or died in the same accident?  Or if there’s only one breadwinner and that’s the one who’s in a coma or dead?  For most people, an insurance policy is the vehicle to get money ASAP to pay the mortgage, utilities, and grocery bill.

Any adult who has a dependent and earns a paycheck needs life insurance, because that pays out much quicker than the estate.  Bills will need to be paid, many of them, in the first month or so after someone’s death.  There needs to be money that is not tied up in a will or, heaven forfend, probate.

Guardianship, plus at least one back-up, must be part of the will.  It’s not enough to say “everyone knows who baby’s godparents are”.  The court doesn’t know that.  You don’t want the court deciding who gets to take the kid home….and sending your kid to the foster system until the permanent living situation is determined.  No, the court will not automatically agree that your best friend is the right choice if your best friend argues that after your death.  You need to put it in writing in a legal document.

Most of the causes of death for young(ish) parents are sudden and unexpected.  There often isn’t time to get the lawyer to the ER.  And what if you’re in a coma at that point?

It might be easier for your wife to discuss this with a lawyer instead of you.  Maybe you go get a cup of coffee or something, and give her time to talk to a knowledgeable professional who is not family or friend to her.