Comments on: TSA terminates its contract with Rapiscan, maker of pornoscanners

By: glittalogik

glittalogik — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 00:00:00 +0000

“TSA … keep the … public safe”
It’s cute that they think anyone still buys that.

By: Steve Nordquist

Steve Nordquist — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 01:04:00 +0000

Scantron Bonne and MyShakeypeople never took off as properties, so the Lerindijk Group had to pick other 30-year-old inscrutable names to get into the right trust circles. Will the private sector catering to people who want validation as clandestine, hot, militarized, unstoppable or clothed in the holy green fire of Buddy Jesus be able to make good of these things? Hey, I think I found the false bottom of my interest in such things! (I can tell by the pixels it’s been sitting on a wood chair with a towel on it…)

By: Daemonworks

Daemonworks — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 21:50:00 +0000

The problem is that they have maximum, not minimum requirements.

By: Daemonworks

Daemonworks — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 21:49:00 +0000

Depends on where you live, actually. In some places, groping and rape are classed as different levels of severity of the same crime.

Which they are, really.

By: James Penrose

James Penrose — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 20:40:00 +0000

There’s a flash drive socket on the console. Technically it is “disabled” but it’s a software switch that admin types can change.

By: pickledbeatnik

pickledbeatnik — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 18:56:00 +0000

I always thought that was an ironic company name coined by the populace who hated the porno scanners. Turns out it’s just an unfortunate coincidence!

By: ocker3

ocker3 — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 16:59:00 +0000

that’s groping, assault, touching, not rape. the link is just too tenuous

By: Tyler Tinsley

Tyler Tinsley — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 16:55:00 +0000

no the scanners dont rape, that only happens if you opt out for the “enhanced pat down”

By: ocker3

ocker3 — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 13:52:00 +0000

No evidence of the machine in fact raping anyone or the photos being used in a rape case? Porn however makese sense, naked pictures of people.

By: oasisob1

oasisob1 — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 11:40:00 +0000

I should learn to read the replies, before posting my own.

By: oasisob1

oasisob1 — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 11:39:00 +0000

“Muslim brown people are coming for your white wimmenz!!!”

I certainly hope so.

By: oasisob1

oasisob1 — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 11:39:00 +0000

Or just post them on Instagram. Yesterday was opt-out day, btw.

By: GagHalfrunt

GagHalfrunt — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 11:37:00 +0000

To be fair, the Rapiscan name dates back at least to 1993, when the company was only making metal detectors and x-ray baggage scanners. No-one was thinking "we've invented a full body scanner - let's call it Rape-scan!"

By: bolamig

bolamig — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 08:19:00 +0000

When we put computers in charge of detecting threats, all sorts of hacks become possible.

By: Rindan

Rindan — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 08:06:00 +0000

“Hu hu, lets call it the RapeyScanner, cause it strips you naked and rapes you with x-rays!”, said Fred the Engineer with all of the social grace of a child savage raised on and island by wolves. Jeff the engineer lol’d.

Six months later…

On one side of the table sat marketing and sales, on the other side sat the engineering manager and a couple of engineers.

“It sounds like you guys are ready with this thing, what is it called?” asked one of the marketing minions. ”We usually need to tweak the name to better execute on our dynamic sales growth projections, but we love engineer input. Dynamic input creates internal dynamic synergies.”

With enthusiastic glee Fred the engineer responds “RapeyScanner! Get it! Because it ra…”, and at that moment Tom, the engineering manager dove into the conversation cutting off the Fred, “because it is so fast! It is rapid! Rapid! RapiScanner!”

The table goes dead silent as stunned looks pass between marketing and sales minions. Tom’s heart sinks. There was no way they were going to buy that lie, and by the offended look on Fred’s face, it looked like Fred was about to try and re-explain the joke just in case they were too dense to get it the first time. With mounting horror, Tom sees Fred open his mouth to indignantly explain that the product strips people naked and rapes them with x-rays, but before Fred can speak, a red faced marketer slams both fists down on the table and declares, “Brilliant! RapiScanner!” A chores of assent fills the marketing and sales side of the table. The engineers seem confused, but Tom ushers them out before the confusion wears off.

By: NoneofYourPenguins

NoneofYourPenguins — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 07:37:00 +0000

TSA is probably one of the biggest boondoggles in the post-911 world we live in. I don’t even think Congress is done screaming at them for all the billions of wasted tax dollars that have been spent to the tune of zilch practical results. Here’s something related to maritime port security:

http://www.workboat.com/Blogs/WorkBoat-Watch/TWIC-is-still-useless-and-a-big-waste-of-money/

By: Boundegar

Boundegar — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 03:32:00 +0000

Only if they can cross-connect the scanners to Instagram.

By: Velocirapt42

Velocirapt42 — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 02:50:00 +0000

Screw the naked pics, I never set foot in one of those because they never got calibrated. Ever.

By: dave3

dave3 — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 02:43:00 +0000

The question now is: Where can I go now to get pornscanned?

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 02:33:00 +0000

It’s pronounced ah-swee-pay.

By: Wayne Dyer

Wayne Dyer — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 02:14:00 +0000

I was a little taken aback when I saw that the head of Rapiscan is named Deepak Chopra. But then I realized that I of all people should be sensitive to folks having famous names.

By: Ernest Valdemar

Ernest Valdemar — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 01:47:00 +0000

Okay, boys, the fellows in Marketing have stayed in all weekend, and they’ve come up with three strong candidates for branding our new airport security scanner. Let me just bring this up onscreen . . .

1) Invaso.

2) Violatron.

3) Rapiscan.

I’m getting a lot of vigor from option 3. Does anyone else have any strong feelings about any of these?

By: BillStewart2012

BillStewart2012 — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 01:41:00 +0000

Replacing 250 X-ray scanners with 669-730 Terahertz scanners isn’t a big improvement in civil liberties (though most of the new THz scanners have the software feature that only shows the operators cartoon stick figures of your naked body, color-enhanced for any “suspicious-looking” things like that rumpled Kleenex or Starbucks receipt in your pocket.)

And at least these are less likely to cause skin cancer (not that the THz scanner folks necessarily have a well-defined methodology for proving that microwaving your butt is safe, but at least they don’t seem to be deliberately misrepresenting badly designed tests the way the X-ray products did.) And you can still ask the TSA operators why they’re not allowed to wear dosimeters that might detect a risk of cancer.

By: flickerKuu

flickerKuu — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 23:31:00 +0000

Can we get the billions of dollars back we spent for them? So much for starving people, or home foreclosures, when we just spend a few billion for some giant paper weights. Someone needs to be imprisoned or at least fired and fined for this debacle.

By: flickerKuu

flickerKuu — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 23:31:00 +0000

Billions

By: EH

EH — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 22:55:00 +0000

Several Ivy-league educations, if you know what I mean.

By: Jim Nelson

Jim Nelson — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 22:31:00 +0000

Aw, man. Now how am I going to inflict monochromatic bear porn on government employees?

By: Cameron Postelwait

Cameron Postelwait — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 22:17:00 +0000

i know, pornoscanner makes it sound like a good thing.

By: Vincenzo Ravina

Vincenzo Ravina — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 22:11:00 +0000

And the TSA can sell the images of your naked body to advertisers!

By: tomob

tomob — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 22:02:00 +0000

How much was spend on these machines?