Pennsylvania kindergartener uses Hello Kitty bubble-gun at school, suspended for "terrorist threat"


94 Responses to “Pennsylvania kindergartener uses Hello Kitty bubble-gun at school, suspended for "terrorist threat"”

  1. JProffitt71 says:

    Well it is a slippery soap, er slope.

  2. Roose_Bolton says:

    “Say hello kitty to my leetle friend!”

  3. carlogesualdodivenosa says:

    Arm the kindergarten teachers with bubble-guns.  It’s the only answer.

  4. BookGuy says:

    If the teachers were armed with bubble guns, then this would never have been a problem.

  5. That_Anonymous_Coward says:

    Zero tolerance policies are misleading.  What they really are is zero thought policies, you can not think about a situation because we might get sued or something bad might happen.
    The other girl might have gotten soap in her eye, been allergic to that soap, been blinded permanently and WE MIGHT BE AT FAULT!
    Thank the FSM the dispenser of the death bubbles was gun shaped so we can just file this under ZOMG GUNS and solve the problem

    • wysinwyg says:

       You could also call them “cover my ass policies”.

    • Exactly, TAC. These things are put in place as a way for administrators to demonstrate that they are “doing something,” even if, as time eventually shows, it’s something stupid.

      • That_Anonymous_Coward says:

        That is what happens when you make knee jerk reactions to situations.  Ex. TSA
        There should be a law that you can not make a law to ‘fix’ something until its been discussed for 6 months. 
        That way the new season of some reality show will start and people will have moved on from the topic.  Then the cooler heads can prevail and make the needed changes without having to go overboard to meet unrealistic demands.

        • s2redux says:

          I get your point…but I’d really rather not have to wait 6 months to get, for instance, Zoe Lofgren’s “Aaron’s Law” (modification to the CFAA) passed. We need better people making good rules more than we need better rules to compensate for a lack of good people.

          • That_Anonymous_Coward says:

            In the 6 month window there is NOTHING stopping Zoe Logren from demanding DOJ provide updates of how they are using the law.  When someone is watching the bad people tend to behave.
            I am not saying Aaron’s Law is bad, I think we need to fix the problems it is having… but I’d also like to see what other problems could be found in it that didn’t get the same attention.
            For every Aaron, how many other people got screwed over from the “creative” reading of the law.  How many of them are sitting with felonies or jail time on their record for making up a fake name on a site…
            Aaron’s Law is needed, I’d like to make sure it goes far enough the first time.

          • s2redux says:

            I’d be happy if we followed a software update model — the current CFAA social firmware has a glaring security bug, and should be patched as soon as possible. Then that bug can be added to the list of issues that are being closely studied for the next major point-release. (And yeah, one danger of that model is that the folks who build the patches will do as great a job as Oracle <g> Guess that’s why social firmware should be Open Source.)

    • Bill McGonigle says:

      per usual, when we see people who ought to be rational acting in a way that seems irrational, we have to ask, “who benefits?”

      In this case, the administrator(s) wants to have zero risk in any situation that could cause him to loose his job.  He probably has many years in the system, is well-salaried, well-benefited, and has a pension coming fairly soon.

      Being fired by a jumpy school board over some kid he doesn’t know with a Hello Kitty toy?  No way, screw her, there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

      There are multiple perverse incentives in this sort of system, but given those incentives, it’s not surprising behavior.

  6. jerwin says:

    The Mount Carmel Area School District takes the well-being and safety of students and staff very seriously.

    For certain private definitions of “seriously”, “safety”, and “well being”, this may be true.

    But most adults would argue that a serious consideration of anything requires thought, introspection, and willingness to differentiate the idealized forms and constructs of the imaginary legal world, with the more complex, more fragile, and more valuable mundanities of the real world.

    • EH says:

      “Maybe a little too seriously…”

    • Tynam says:

      Except, obviously, for the safety and well-being of students with bubbles.  Those students can just go to jail where they belong.

    • GregS says:

      I wonder if they include the psychological in their definition of student safety. Because I can’t imagine that terrorizing a little girl for doing a normal thing that kids do falls under the heading of protecting her.

  7. Of course, I read that she said “I’m going to kill you and myself”.  Which, while not warranting a “terrorist threat”, is a little disturbing…

  8. Alexis Rivera says:

    This is plain and simple paranoia are the teachers too stupid to follow up on suspicion before ruining a child personal record with the word terrorist? Psych evals for the teachers and management of that school seems in order. I guess common sense left American government for good.

  9. OldBrownSquirrel says:

    One wonders how schools react to hair dryers.

  10. Alexis Rivera says:

    Or nerf guns some of them have huge capacities and fire full auto so they will be illegal soon too. What do we expect the mass shooting incident is all we talk about lately some small child was bound to repeat the words adults so carelessly toss around when talking about the news.

  11. Church says:

    I’m guessing this school doesn’t offer flu shots.

  12. Michael Rosefield says:

    We should elect committees of extremely reasonable people who can go around vetoing ridiculous crap like this. Wise wandering trickster monks…

  13. Shohanna says:

    What happen to using our brains? What happen to rational thought, and discourse?  What happen to being able to be a 5 yr old child and having fun? I can’t imagine living in a world where I could be suspended for even “talking” about a bubble gun! She didn’t even have it with her and they suspended her. What happen to Free speech? Hmm? I would sue period.

    Oki fully flabbergasted and abashed here. Wow.

    • nachoproblem says:

      Five-year-olds have never had free speech. Their lives are run by a bunch of bureaucratic hacks and worrywarts on every level. Which is a damn good thing too, otherwise how would they learn never to trust authority?

    • CH says:

      As much as making her a terrorist for using a bubble gun in totally insane, I fail to see how this was a free speech issue. Unless I missed what law the government had put in place to restrict her rights to free speech.

  14. That_Anonymous_Coward says:

    “The Mount Carmel Area School District takes the well-being and safety of students and staff very seriously.”

    “The Mount Carmel Area School District is run by a bunch of morons who use the word terrorist at the drop of the hat and are unqualified to be teaching children to understand the world.  We apologize that the law requires you to put your children into the hands of people possessed by paranoia and delusions of danger.”


  15. nachoproblem says:

    Is Gio Benitez now going to be investigated for holding up a bubble gun on the news?

  16. Frederik says:

    I really really really really really want to meet the half witts who banned the girl from school and blow bubbles in their general direction.

  17. I used to date a girl from the Mount Carmel area back when I was in college, and I’m not surprised by this behavior from their schools.  This part of PA is about as rural as it gets, being located right in the middle of the coal-belt, and, well, they’re sticklers for the rules as written.

  18. Jon-Michael Windsor says:

    Once we criminalise bubble-guns, only criminals will have bubble-guns.

  19. ophmarketing says:

    “for pointing a Hello Kitty bubble-gun at another student”

    Actually, according the linked news report, she didn’t even have the bubble gun with her–one other report I read said that she didn’t even own one. She was just saying that if she did, they could play with it.

  20. “The Mount Carmel Area School District takes the well-being and safety of students and staff very seriously.” Actually, what the Mount Carmel Area School District did was exactly the opposite of taking safety seriously.

  21. Shaun Cress says:

    i went to this school   and that place is terrible this isnt the first time they took things way out of hand when dealing with a small matter

    she didnt have the toy at school they two children were at the bus stop playing around before school they also fail to mention that the school also interogated the little girl for three hours with out the parents knowlage or permission  i hope they sue and have the entire staff evaluated for common sence  but acourse they would all fail

  22. comefeelthenoise says:

    …you make light….. but thats no illumi-nation!!!

  23. hymenopterid says:

    Guys this is serous.  That is a plastic gun, known to street criminals as a Glock.

  24. bardfinn says:

    “Aw, shoot, that sucks!”, said a bystander, who was immediately expulsed and charged with terrorism.

  25. Guns don’t bubble people; PEOPLE bubble people!

  26. teknocholer says:

    Bubbles are a known terrorist weapon, used by radicals to circumvent protective gear such as sunglasses.

    If bubbles strike fear in the hearts of hardened police officers, we can’t blame school officials for being nervous.

  27. Jorpho says:

    “the information supplied to the media may not be consistent with the facts”

    Y’know, they may just have a point there.

    “So correct the record and get it over with!” you may respond.  Well, if they were concerned about what might be done with a bubble gun, might one expect them to be concerned about making a statement that could well bring more furious national attention down on their heads if they get it wrong?

  28. Nadreck says:

    Toronto’s own Officer Bubbles would have been proud! <-check out the full "Officer Bubbles" cartoon collection at the bottom!

    • That_Anonymous_Coward says:

      And here I bet he was hoping the internet would forget him violating the law and then crying about it.

  29. Green Ghost says:

    Could these school administrators possibly be fired TSA employees??

  30. Antinous / Moderator says:

    Who would have guessed that Chubbles was on the run from Johnny Law?

  31. Jim Davison says:

    The district did say there may be missing information. So maybe the little girl said something like, “This is only a bubble gun but my daddy has a real one and if  you don’t let me in the sandbox I’ll use it to murder your family while you sleep”

  32. Sigmund_Jung says:

    I have a time machine. I just went to the future and back. The US is screwed.

  33. Mister44 says:

    Zero tolerance = never having to use your brain. You just react to a situation with out any context or thinking it through. How absurd.

  34. Kimmo says:

    Wow, could this be any more Orwellian?

    The irony is fucking vast.

    Terrorism by crying terrorism. Surely, sooner or later, this bullshit has to become a matter of crying wolf?


    • That_Anonymous_Coward says:

      People stand in lines to get on flying metal tubes and have their privates fondled over cries of terrorism…
      This is not a nightmare… this is our reality.

      Sadly things will not change until you can convince the masses there isn’t actually a lone wolf terrorist hiding under their bed that they alone could stop if only the secret muslim leader of the country wasn’t trying to steal their guns.

  35. machinestate says:

    The problem is these ridiculous 250mL fluid tanks.  They should only be available to kids playing soldier.  Playing hunter or defending the home from  closet-monsters can be done perfectly well with 20mL per fill.

  36. redesigned says:

    I guess the National Bubble Association doesn’t have a strong enough government lobby.

  37. benher says:

    Welp, at least she can get her youthful idealism about the fairness of the justice system out of her head early and skip straight to teenage cynicism. 

  38. orabji says:

    You have to be connected.  Greedspan got away with blowing bubbles…

  39. donovan acree says:

    As an educator, I’d expect the school administrator would at least have a working understanding of the word ‘terrorism’.

  40. Lucretia says:

    This is the most rediulious thing I ‘ve ever heard of.  In the first place , the child didn’t even have the TOY with her.  Now are parents suppose to lock their children away for being children and only give the little cuddly TOYS. 2sd, Children at this age don’t even have a clue what is going on in the world, let alone their neighborhood.
    Now if you want to stop child violence get rid of the violent games they can get to on the internet and at arcaids. Start monoriting their scocail net working. limit computer time.
    If this was my child I’d also be suing someone.

  41. Gyrofrog says:

    Surprisingly, no one else has mentioned this:
    ♫Hel-lo Kitty♫♫Hel-lo Kitty♫♫She’s the kitty♫♫What’s got no mouf♫

  42. This kind of nonsense is old news, I had a purple and orange hot glue gun confiscated by the TSA 5 years ago because it was deemed a gun.

  43. donniebnyc says:

    Every time I read a story like this I picture Bin Laden sitting on the ocean floor laughing and laughing and laughing.  

    He terrorized us once.  His real accomplishment is getting us to terrorize ourselves every day.

    He may be dead but he definitely won. 

  44. acousticbob says:

    Did the gun fire one bubble for each trigger-pull, or was it a fully-automatic weapon, capable of firing a stream of multiple bubbles as long as the trigger is held?

  45. allenels says:

    So nice to know that the inmates are solidly in control of, well everything. Poor, poor baby!  

  46. That_Anonymous_Coward says:

    “didn’t even have the bubble gun toy with her at school”

  47. AwesomeRobot says:

    I’d argue that there are more bubble, paint, air, water, frosting, condiment, and other assorted fun-to-point guns than the bullet-filled kind. 

    Maybe we should teach kids more about how to have fun instead of making everything a point of fear or some kind of forbidden fruit.

    I know not with what weapons WWIII will be fought with, but WWIV will be fought with bubbles.

  48. Antinous / Moderator says:

    Moderator note: This post is not an invitation to a debate about guns and gun control.  Thank you for playing.

  49. Clark says:

     but she thought about it didn’t she?

  50. That_Anonymous_Coward says:

    We are getting there but thoughtcrimes still aren’t regulated.  Doubleplusgood.

  51. euansmith says:

     You are as guilty as we think you are.

  52. kroeghe says:

    I think that at this point writing the word “gun” is such an invitation. It’s hardly unexpected.

  53. robuluz says:

    Thats what Hitler said!

  54. That_Anonymous_Coward says:

    And this is why they are doomed to fail…  they don’t think.

  55. euansmith says:

    Hitler? He was no better than a Nazi!

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