Just look at this sniper eating a banana on a rooftop during the inauguration.

Just look at him.

Noticed some snipers hanging out on the roof during the inaugural parade. Zoomed in to find him enjoying a banana. (Thanks, Richard!)


    1.  If he did spot a bad/crazy guy he was gonna throw that banana peel on the ground right in front of him. 
      Yucks would have ensued all around.

      Talk about your non-lethal weapons. 

      1. No, he already apprehended the bad guy and forced him to drop the banana. He is now eating the banana, thus disarming him.

  1. Clearly a tactical banana. The peel can be used as the first line of offense against a perambulating perpetrator. 

  2. Can’t see a sniper rifle, though. Can’t see how “secret service on the roof checking stuff out” == “sniper”.

      1. Or on the lookout for unauthorized photography.  You can’t take pictures here.  We’re gonna need you to delete those photos.

    1. My impression is that the secret service have done the sums and worked out that keeping guns away from the president, as well as installing barriers is the best way to keep POTUS alive.

      1.  Your impression is likely wrong.  I used to drag my VT-100 terminal out to the roof of the Academy of Natural Sciences on the Logan Square in Philly in the summertime and work outside where I could smoke cigarettes and enjoy the sunshine.  When the President came to town, large men hung all about with equipment banned me from the rooftops for the entire day, but I saw them setting up sniper rifles longer than my leg at the roofedge.  They made me get away from the window when they saw me looking at them and talking on the phone.

        Looks to me like one of these guys is probably a radio officer, equipped with extra comm tackle for city work, and banana man is either a spotter or off-duty.  But I’m just guessing.

        I saw even more interesting things when I worked in a building overlooking the airfield where the President’s plane used to land whenever he visited Delaware.

    2. Can’t see how that matters to the joke Cory was making, and the rest of us were trying to play along with, buzzkill.

      1. buzzkill

        I can’t hear any buzzing and no one seems to have been killed, so I don’t know why you’re calling him a buzzkill.

          1. Two Roman senators are sitting in the back, chatting as the speaker drones on and on. One of them is clearly impatient and bored, so after an hour his friend asks “Why don’t you leave?”

            “Because I’m waiting for the verb.”

          2. Actually in reply to OtherMichael but not allowed to reply to deep replies (?). Anyhoo, I would have laughed but I had to translate Cicero’s orations in high school.  Still gives me the shakes.

    3. Photo one, not zoomed in, about one man length in front of them, the barrel of a rifle is silhouetted against the sky. These are counter-snipers, looking for snipers or (hopefully not) to react to and find the source of a shot.

    1. Or what if he had been juggling?  Or had had his hands in a cat’s cradle?  Or a bucket of quick-drying cement?  What if??  Very irresponsible.

      1. Or one of those big pots of glue like the Katzenjammer Kids!

        It’s irresponsible of us not to pre-emptively punish anyone that we can imagine might do something unsavory.

    2. They are up there for hours at a time. I’d imagine his stomach growling and he being hungry would be a far bigger distraction, wouldn’t you? Or do you think snipers are robots who don’t get hungry?

  3. That’s your Tactical Banana there, those things are lethal. Buddy of mine lost an eye just playing around with one. He wasn’t apeeling after that…

    1. I’ll admit sometimes my agenda does involve handcuffs… but I think beyond that we aren’t on the same path.

    Your giving aid to terrorists!
    Noe they know they just have to poison the banana’s before big events to render random dudes on a roof incapable of standing there looking like they are doing something important!

    for the impaired… yes its humor…

  5.  It’s a tactical banana. The peel can thrown ninja like into the path of a suspicious person tripping them up, a non-lethal method and perfectly fine. 

  6. Sadly, two minutes later the other gentleman slipped on the peel and fell off the roof. After hitting several flagpoles on the way down and bouncing off an awning, he was trampled to death by a marching band followed by a steamroller.

  7. Those rooftop guys are around for every event.  They were on the Lincoln memorial for the Glenn Beck rally and there were no weren’t even any elected officials.

    The real action is when they spot weld the manholes shut and remove the mailboxes and trashcans on the parade route.   I remember reading an old story about someone sweeping their balcony on inauguration day, and the phone rang, and the police said “Please put the broom down, you are making the snipers nervous and you don’t want to make the snipers nervous.” 

    1. Aren’t they around for every non-event, too? I’ve visited DC several times in the last few years and they are there. Sometimes they are eating apples.

  8. Did you check out all the spotters?  How awesomely NRA-baiting it would be for POTUS to have ordered the entire security detail to ostentatiously display bananas instead of weapons.

  9. Yeah, it’s an easy mistake to make at this range.  It is not a banana. That is a .50 cal Plantain. Standard issue.

  10. The banana is the natural prey of the sniper.  You can tell from the photo that he is the alpha of the sniper pack and receives first rights to feed, the others will just have to wait their turn.  

    Not only is it a good snack, but I would imagine the potassium would be helpful in his line of work.  Last thing a sniper would want are muscle spasms or cramps.

  11. They’re obviously time-travelling nazi’s (note the armbands) come to see how good things turned out, who just happened to bring a snack to eat while watching the future unfold.

  12. I find it more interesting that they are wearing red armbands.  Reminds me of the Chinese Great Cultural Revolution.

    1. That’s likely the “color of the day,” announced to Secret Service & law enforcement the morning of the event so they don’t get mistaken for bad guys setting up rifles on rooftops. Undercover cops frequently do a similar thing (although not with armbands,) wearing a scarf or hat or something of a particular color so they’re recognizable to other cops.

  13. I think the potassium in bananas are supposed to help you not shake – or steady yourself – when shooting. IIRC. He could have just been hungry and some asshole already ate all the doughnuts.

Comments are closed.