Just look at this shattered banana that gives mute testimony of the bitter cold of Norway.

Just look at it.

This is how cold it is in Norway right now. (i.imgur.com) (Thanks, arbitrary aardvark!)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE: banana • cold • just look at it • norway

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http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=8834925 Chauncey Scott

That chalky jerk, got what was coming to it, as far as I’m concerned.
lknope

As an atheist and a tree-hugging liberal, this is MY WORST NIGHTMARE.
It disproves evolution and global warming in one fell swoop.
mtdna

How do I put this? Cory – You have been exhibiting an unusual interest in bananas lately. Are you trying to tell us (or perhaps yourself) something?
- Supernumerary
  
  He’s ODed on potassium?
- wysinwyg
  
  It’s a long-running theme in Cory posts. Here’s an example from nearly a year ago.
Carlos Ayala

Well, radioactive doesn’t mean hot.
http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher

When Mr. Wizard dunked a banana in liquid nitrogen and then shattered it with a hammer I thought, “That’s so cool. Where can I get some liquid nitrogen?”

Now I realize I don’t need any. I just need to catch the next flight to Norway. And I’ll visit the home of Knut Hamsun while I’m there!
- tubacat
  
  Bring a banana – in case he’s …. hungry (sorry!)
SomeGuyNamedMark

I hate it when my banana freezes
http://twitter.com/joeybladb joe k.

Looks like a Southwest Airlines disaster…
- oasisob1
  
  …and it looks better than a Southwest Airlines meal…
LinkMan

Does this mean the African Radi-Aid program has failed??
dave3

“My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said no, but I want a regular banana later, so yeah.”
-Mitch Hedberg
- http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher
  
  Because one good Mitch Hedberg quote deserves another:
  
  “With a stop light, green means ‘go’ and yellow means ‘slow down’. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means ‘go’, green means ‘whoa, slow down’, and red means ‘where the heck did you get that banana?’”
  - dnebdal
    
    In any of a surprisingly large number of places, apparently: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_banana
    
    Many red bananas are imported from producers in Asia and South America. They are a favorite in Central America but are sold throughout the world.
    - http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher
      
      I know! I should have admitted that that particular joke drives me nuts because I’ve had red bananas. Although they’re usually not easy to find in my area, so, depending on where you live, “Where the heck did you get that banana?” still makes sense.
      - dnebdal
        
        True – I don’t think I’ve ever had the opportunity to buy one, so it’s still the obvious thing to ask. :D
Preston Sturges

“Shattered banana?” Our band just ordered the “Amazing Turd” t-shirts, and now this.
Preston Sturges

No matter how bad it gets, they will still have Daiquiris.
Øyvind

this is weird. i too live in norway, and i have noticed unusually many frozen bananas just lying idly around my neighbourhood. something must be up.
- awjt
  
  Are there loose apes?
  - Øyvind
    
    not a single ape (or many animals at all; it’s been an animal-unfriendly -15C lately). Plenty pensioners, though.
    - awjt
      
      It must be them.
    - http://lemoutan.blogspot.com/ Lemoutan
      
      I’m not sure awjt meant ‘loose’ in that sense.
      - bcsizemo
        
        If they are making banana daiquiris I suspect they are pretty “loose”.
  - Preston Sturges
    
    Yetis?
- vonbobo
  
  plague bananas?
Roose_Bolton

Wow, what happened to that sniper rifle?
Wordguy

The sniper must have dropped it.
Syd

Someone is going to slip in Norway sometime mid-April.
TheMudshark

Icewinds Tears Drip On My My Unbeloved Peel

Coven Of Black Mist Sing For Me

Ceremonial Hymns Of The Purest Blasphemy

At One With The Earth

Alone With Light In My Eyes

The Ravens Circle Around My Tomb

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Frozen By Icewinds
- Preston Sturges
  
  Norway is not brutal.
  
  Danbury, Connecticut is more brutal.
  
  http://youtu.be/sdyYtodHoK4
  
  http://youtu.be/8Uqz03Fgngk
  - TheMudshark
    
    The second clip reminds me of this awesome photo from the book “True Norwegian Black Metal”.
http://twitter.com/ErnestValdemar Ernest Valdemar

SLAP STICK

It is the coldest day of the year. A PEASANT stands by the side of the road, slowly and deliberately eating a banana. His repast complete, he drops the PEEL beside the road and rides off on his bicycle.

A hooded figure approaches from the distance. It is DEATH. The PEASANT speeds further and further away on his bicycle, but DEATH does not quicken his pace. DEATH is patient. The PEASANT must stop sometime.

DEATH’s stride is long, but his steps are measured.

The banana PEEL waits. Ice crystals form along its edges, and hoar frost slowly envelopes it.

The PEASANT reaches his humble cottage. He stokes the fire in his stove and stops to warm his hands.

The wind howls while the PEEL lies motionless, as still and fragile as glass.

DEATH lets out a snort, shrouding his features in fog. One measured pace after another –

Suddenly, there is a sound like a snapping twig, like breaking glass, like the crack of a rifle from across the forest.

But there will be no pratfall today. It is too cold even for that, and the PEASANT is waiting.
drinkingcoffee

I just wanted to say that it’s way the fuck colder in Montreal right now than in Norway (Olso, at least). Cold enough that your eyes water and then your eyelashes freeze together.
http://twitter.com/randywalters Randy Walters

That’s my heart lying in the gutter there; a heart like a shattered banana.

That’s my banana lying in the gutter there; a banana like a shattered heart.

Take your pick; that’s what life’s all about.
Jen Onymous

Don’t remind me of how fucking cold it is in NYC today. I actually got windburn on my face–as in face was tender/raw when I went to wash off my makeup tonite–and it’s a first for me. This is after going to school in Upstate NY.
- penguinchris
  
  Some parts of upstate NY state have a reputation for cold and snow, but NYC definitely gets colder (and much windier because of the buildings, a very important factor).
  
  I am from Buffalo, famous for snow, and went to school in Rochester. I *have* gotten plenty of windburn of the face etc. in those places, but I suppose that engaging in winter shenanigans as a youth (not to mention skiing) is different from going to school and only leaving your dorm in winter when it’s absolutely necessary ;)
  
  NYC in winter kicks my ass every time, and I never seem to learn my lesson.
feetleet

When God hands you brittle bananas, you FIND A NEW GOD.
http://twitter.com/sloopy312 sloopy312

this shattered frozen banana peel reflects all that is in my heart. torn and shattered. asunder. frozen. desolate. that is my heart. just look at it.
legsmalone

Yesterday was the coldest day Chicago has seen in two years. It was also the day that the heat went out in my apartment.
- Boundegar
  
  Then I hope you live in Miami and not Chicago.
http://twitter.com/tueksta Andreas Beer

I guess every single tourist in norway would buy a frozen banana just for the experience of shattering it and taking a picture of it…