Comments on: The crazy world of engagement ring financing http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html Brain candy for Happy Mutants Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:32:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 By: Jenn Difie http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1639774 Jenn Difie Tue, 29 Jan 2013 02:20:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1639774 If you really want to make a good decision, go to a locally owned small business jeweler.  Most of the time they will actually HELP you budget, and many offer lay-away plans so that you can make payments on the ring as it is being created.  Anyone can do a Google search for a local custom jeweler, and besides keeping a local business open you will be able to actually talk to the person doing the work and get your questions answered by an expert instead of a professional salesperson who has never even toughed a buffing wheel. If you really want to make a good decision, go to a locally owned small business jeweler.  Most of the time they will actually HELP you budget, and many offer lay-away plans so that you can make payments on the ring as it is being created.  Anyone can do a Google search for a local custom jeweler, and besides keeping a local business open you will be able to actually talk to the person doing the work and get your questions answered by an expert instead of a professional salesperson who has never even toughed a buffing wheel.

]]> By: Preston Sturges http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638582 Preston Sturges Sat, 26 Jan 2013 17:14:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638582 Rubies were rare, but IIRC lab-grown rubies hit the market pretty quickly, while the cartels managed to keep artificial diamonds off the market for 15 years. Rubies were rare, but IIRC lab-grown rubies hit the market pretty quickly, while the cartels managed to keep artificial diamonds off the market for 15 years.

]]> By: blissfulight http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638310 blissfulight Sat, 26 Jan 2013 03:53:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638310 Isn't it odd that something that is regarded as a form of portable wealth, is, in fact, from the perspective of the diamond market, quite worthless?  How is it that a product that is essentially 'forever' and doesn't diminish in quality with time or use, can be considered worthless the moment it leaves the store?  As a symbolic dowry, prospective brides would be better off demanding something more valuable, like a bank account full of cash, or a car, or even (shudder) gold.  Something, anyway, that can be readily converted to another form of currency, or has a beautiful, utilitarian purpose.  (I'm shouting in the wind.  I'll be quiet, now.) Isn’t it odd that something that is regarded as a form of portable wealth, is, in fact, from the perspective of the diamond market, quite worthless?  How is it that a product that is essentially ‘forever’ and doesn’t diminish in quality with time or use, can be considered worthless the moment it leaves the store?  As a symbolic dowry, prospective brides would be better off demanding something more valuable, like a bank account full of cash, or a car, or even (shudder) gold.  Something, anyway, that can be readily converted to another form of currency, or has a beautiful, utilitarian purpose.  (I’m shouting in the wind.  I’ll be quiet, now.)

]]> By: Antinous / Moderator http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638303 Antinous / Moderator Sat, 26 Jan 2013 03:41:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638303 There's a window into previous jewelry-wearing habits in William Morris's <i>The Well at the World's End</i> wherein he mentions that one character<i>"had turned the bezels of her finger-rings outward, for joy of that meeting."</i> There’s a window into previous jewelry-wearing habits in William Morris’s The Well at the World’s End wherein he mentions that one character“had turned the bezels of her finger-rings outward, for joy of that meeting.”

]]> By: Katie Albers http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638288 Katie Albers Sat, 26 Jan 2013 03:24:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638288 Yeah, people will go on about conflict diamonds and all sort of other problems with them, but they all miss the central problem with diamonds: they're utterly without value. Why do you think it's worth it that some stores promise to buy a ring back at full price? There's be nothing worthwhile if the "worth" of the ring hadn't plummeted the minute you walked out the door with it. They sure as hell aren't an investment; they're a money pit. Yeah, people will go on about conflict diamonds and all sort of other problems with them, but they all miss the central problem with diamonds: they’re utterly without value. Why do you think it’s worth it that some stores promise to buy a ring back at full price? There’s be nothing worthwhile if the “worth” of the ring hadn’t plummeted the minute you walked out the door with it. They sure as hell aren’t an investment; they’re a money pit.

]]> By: Sekino http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638260 Sekino Sat, 26 Jan 2013 02:47:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638260 Yeah, I think that wearing the engagement ring permanently is yet another fairly new invention. It often seems that people like to make things more and more complicated for themselves rather than simplifying... Now they have to match the wedding band with it (another excuse to add diamonds on the band). Spinels probably got an unfortunate bad rap because of <i>synthetic</i> spinel, which is used in most cheap birthstone jewellery and grad rings. So to many people even the name 'spinel' alone automatically implies something faked. Yeah, I think that wearing the engagement ring permanently is yet another fairly new invention. It often seems that people like to make things more and more complicated for themselves rather than simplifying… Now they have to match the wedding band with it (another excuse to add diamonds on the band).

Spinels probably got an unfortunate bad rap because of synthetic spinel, which is used in most cheap birthstone jewellery and grad rings. So to many people even the name ‘spinel’ alone automatically implies something faked.

]]> By: Velocirapt42 http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638258 Velocirapt42 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 02:45:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638258 She said it "had to be" a diamond solitaire. I took her word for it. I know nothing about the marriages of the wealthy in Texas. She said it “had to be” a diamond solitaire. I took her word for it. I know nothing about the marriages of the wealthy in Texas.

]]> By: Antinous / Moderator http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638214 Antinous / Moderator Sat, 26 Jan 2013 01:38:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638214 I'd also like to point out these two tiaras owned by the Swedish Royal Family.  The Cameo Tiara has nary a diamond in sight, and the Cut Steel Tiara gets its glitter from..... cut steel, not gems.  Even at the top of the jewelry ladder, faceted rocks are not required. I’d also like to point out these two tiaras owned by the Swedish Royal Family.  The Cameo Tiara has nary a diamond in sight, and the Cut Steel Tiara gets its glitter from….. cut steel, not gems.  Even at the top of the jewelry ladder, faceted rocks are not required.

]]> By: Antinous / Moderator http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638185 Antinous / Moderator Sat, 26 Jan 2013 01:02:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638185 It seems weird to me.  It's as if the Queen wore a tiara to go riding. It seems weird to me.  It’s as if the Queen wore a tiara to go riding.

]]> By: welcomeabored http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638163 welcomeabored Sat, 26 Jan 2013 00:29:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638163 I understand that rubies are actually 'rare', compared to diamonds.  The stone I covet is an alexandrite.  It is one of the rarest precious stones.  The color of the stone changes with the light, alternately blue, green and/or purple.  My husband has VW Beetle painted in 'Riviera Blue Pearl' that changes in the light in much the same way.  It's lovely at sunset. I understand that rubies are actually ‘rare’, compared to diamonds.  The stone I covet is an alexandrite.  It is one of the rarest precious stones.  The color of the stone changes with the light, alternately blue, green and/or purple. 

My husband has VW Beetle painted in ’Riviera Blue Pearl’ that changes in the light in much the same way.  It’s lovely at sunset.

]]> By: Donald Petersen http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638146 Donald Petersen Sat, 26 Jan 2013 00:01:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638146 When I was growing up it seemed all the married women I knew wore wedding bands, and kept their engagement rings stashed somewhere.  It seemed to have become fashionable at some point (late 80s, maybe?) to make those "bridal sets" where the engagement ring and wedding band are designed to be worn together, so you can enjoy your super-spendy diamond every day instead of stashing it somewhere. As you say, it seems like day-to-day life would suggest wearing the wedding band only, so you'd only trot out the ring with the rocks on fancy-dress occasions.  But whether we're an instant-gratification culture or we just don't get gussied up very often anymore as a society, it seems plenty of people like being able to wear both rings all the time. When I was growing up it seemed all the married women I knew wore wedding bands, and kept their engagement rings stashed somewhere.  It seemed to have become fashionable at some point (late 80s, maybe?) to make those “bridal sets” where the engagement ring and wedding band are designed to be worn together, so you can enjoy your super-spendy diamond every day instead of stashing it somewhere.

As you say, it seems like day-to-day life would suggest wearing the wedding band only, so you’d only trot out the ring with the rocks on fancy-dress occasions.  But whether we’re an instant-gratification culture or we just don’t get gussied up very often anymore as a society, it seems plenty of people like being able to wear both rings all the time.

]]> By: Antinous / Moderator http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638086 Antinous / Moderator Fri, 25 Jan 2013 22:57:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638086 It might just be called "having an interest". It might just be called “having an interest”.

]]> By: Antinous / Moderator http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638052 Antinous / Moderator Fri, 25 Jan 2013 22:16:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638052 You'd think that spinels would be better known since there's a huge one on the front of the Imperial State Crown of the UK. Also, I don't really get why you would wear your engagement ring all the time after you're married. It seems like it should go on for dress occasions. You’d think that spinels would be better known since there’s a huge one on the front of the Imperial State Crown of the UK.

Also, I don’t really get why you would wear your engagement ring all the time after you’re married. It seems like it should go on for dress occasions.

]]> By: Antinous / Moderator http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638030 Antinous / Moderator Fri, 25 Jan 2013 21:49:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638030 Emerald cut only looks good with a large, high quality stone.  It's the cut of choice for showing off. Emerald cut only looks good with a large, high quality stone.  It’s the cut of choice for showing off.

]]> By: Preston Sturges http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638022 Preston Sturges Fri, 25 Jan 2013 21:43:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638022 OK, but the stones themselves aren't particularly valuable, and they've ginned up the market for smaller stones in other styles of jewelry. OK, but the stones themselves aren’t particularly valuable, and they’ve ginned up the market for smaller stones in other styles of jewelry.

]]> By: Donald Petersen http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638011 Donald Petersen Fri, 25 Jan 2013 21:35:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638011 Wow.  That cost more than my first <b>five</b> cars.  But then, it was the eighties and those cars of mine suuuuucked. Wow.  That cost more than my first five cars.  But then, it was the eighties and those cars of mine suuuuucked.

]]> By: Donald Petersen http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1638004 Donald Petersen Fri, 25 Jan 2013 21:32:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1638004 As far as I ever knew "keeping the ring" was never particularly good formal etiquette, since although its sole purpose was to symbolize the engagement and the investment the giver was prepared to make to secure an outcome of a happy marriage, and though the breakage of the engagement by a given cad may have elicited sentiments in the jilted bride's party that the cad should not be able to perform this caddish deed without risk of loss of this investment, how many brides would historically have done other than flung the ring at his back in disgust? Okay, maybe I watch too much <i>Downton Abbey</i>.  I can't imagine Lady Edith kept Sir Anthony's ring, but I can totally see Lady Mary encouraging her to keep it. (By the way, don't nobody take any of this seriously.  I know pretty much nothing about this kind of stuff.) As far as I ever knew “keeping the ring” was never particularly good formal etiquette, since although its sole purpose was to symbolize the engagement and the investment the giver was prepared to make to secure an outcome of a happy marriage, and though the breakage of the engagement by a given cad may have elicited sentiments in the jilted bride’s party that the cad should not be able to perform this caddish deed without risk of loss of this investment, how many brides would historically have done other than flung the ring at his back in disgust?

Okay, maybe I watch too much Downton Abbey.  I can’t imagine Lady Edith kept Sir Anthony’s ring, but I can totally see Lady Mary encouraging her to keep it.

(By the way, don’t nobody take any of this seriously.  I know pretty much nothing about this kind of stuff.)

]]> By: SamSam http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1637765 SamSam Fri, 25 Jan 2013 19:00:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1637765 If you ever want to buy a house, you'll find that your credit rating matters a great deal. ...to the tune of an extra $50,000-$80,000 or more that you will probably end up paying over the life of a mortgage, if they give you a rate that's just a point higher than what it could have been. If you ever want to buy a house, you’ll find that your credit rating matters a great deal. …to the tune of an extra $50,000-$80,000 or more that you will probably end up paying over the life of a mortgage, if they give you a rate that’s just a point higher than what it could have been.

]]> By: SamSam http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1637763 SamSam Fri, 25 Jan 2013 18:54:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1637763 I wouldn't count on it... If your bands are 100% gold, which right now costs about $1600/oz, your bands would need to be over an ounce each to be worth $4000. I just weighed my wedding band, and it's 0.3 oz. The price of your 18K white gold is probably a little over $1200/oz (18/24*1600, plus a little extra for palladium etc.), so your bands would need to be a whopping 1.6 oz each, or nearly six times the weight of my regular wedding band. I wouldn’t count on it… If your bands are 100% gold, which right now costs about $1600/oz, your bands would need to be over an ounce each to be worth $4000.

I just weighed my wedding band, and it’s 0.3 oz.

The price of your 18K white gold is probably a little over $1200/oz (18/24*1600, plus a little extra for palladium etc.), so your bands would need to be a whopping 1.6 oz each, or nearly six times the weight of my regular wedding band.

]]> By: SamSam http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1637753 SamSam Fri, 25 Jan 2013 18:45:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1637753 If they were squashed under the crashing diamonds, you mean? If they were squashed under the crashing diamonds, you mean?

]]> By: Pierre Balian http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1637754 Pierre Balian Fri, 25 Jan 2013 18:45:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1637754 Little known fact: Almost all jewelry chains in america are owned by one company, the Sterling Corp.   They own Kay's, Jared's, J.B. Robinson, Osterman, Belden, Friedlander, Goodmans, LeRoys, Marks & Morgan, Rogers, Shaws, Weisfield. Little known fact: Almost all jewelry chains in america are owned by one company, the Sterling Corp.   They own Kay’s, Jared’s, J.B. Robinson, Osterman, Belden, Friedlander, Goodmans, LeRoys, Marks & Morgan, Rogers, Shaws, Weisfield.

]]> By: MandoZink http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1637732 MandoZink Fri, 25 Jan 2013 18:29:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1637732 I tend to wonder about the values of a person who parades around with a hand full of glistening rings. I could appreciate jewelry possibly made from an unusual stone which you may have hiked to a mountain top or a desert canyon to discover. I tend to wonder about the values of a person who parades around with a hand full of glistening rings. I could appreciate jewelry possibly made from an unusual stone which you may have hiked to a mountain top or a desert canyon to discover.

]]> By: shawntbrothers http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1637724 shawntbrothers Fri, 25 Jan 2013 18:18:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1637724 The author must not frequent Big Box stores at all. I love reading the terms for these kind of arrangements whenever I go into Lowes or Best Buy because my accounting brain just loves churning the figures. This is nothing new and has been going on for a long time now. It's always the same whenever you see "promotional financing" in one of these stores. I'm not saying its a good thing, but people who don't read the fine print when dealing in financial matters are just as guilty as these scumbag stores who try to pimp the financing deals. People wake up! These places are in business to take your money not save you money!!! The author must not frequent Big Box stores at all. I love reading the terms for these kind of arrangements whenever I go into Lowes or Best Buy because my accounting brain just loves churning the figures. This is nothing new and has been going on for a long time now. It’s always the same whenever you see “promotional financing” in one of these stores. I’m not saying its a good thing, but people who don’t read the fine print when dealing in financial matters are just as guilty as these scumbag stores who try to pimp the financing deals. People wake up! These places are in business to take your money not save you money!!!

]]> By: Diogenes http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1637707 Diogenes Fri, 25 Jan 2013 18:08:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1637707 I would think so! I would think so!

]]> By: CLamb http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1637671 CLamb Fri, 25 Jan 2013 17:30:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1637671 He wasn't wealthy enough to give her a ring with both a pearl and a diamond? He wasn’t wealthy enough to give her a ring with both a pearl and a diamond?

]]> By: Preston Sturges http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1637653 Preston Sturges Fri, 25 Jan 2013 17:04:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1637653 The most inconsiderate wedding plan we ever experienced was when some good friends decided to get married in NJ on 4th of July weekend.  We got to fight holiday beach traffic all the way up and all the way back without even a chance to stop at the beach! The most inconsiderate wedding plan we ever experienced was when some good friends decided to get married in NJ on 4th of July weekend.  We got to fight holiday beach traffic all the way up and all the way back without even a chance to stop at the beach!

]]> By: Velocirapt42 http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1637639 Velocirapt42 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 16:48:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1637639 Of course, I proposed to my husband with a ring carved from wood so I am not the target demographic here. Of course, I proposed to my husband with a ring carved from wood so I am not the target demographic here.

]]> By: Sekino http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1637638 Sekino Fri, 25 Jan 2013 16:42:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1637638 It's actually because the round cut retains more weight from the rough crystal. Many diamonds crystals are more-or-less octahedrons, so you can get two round (or princess) cut stones top-to-top. Emerald cuts are cut from flatter crystals. You can also hide a lot more impurities and flaws with a bunch of radiating facets (and the increased scintillation of a round). than in simple, window-like emerald cuts. But usually, weight-retention is what determines diamond's final cut shape. It’s actually because the round cut retains more weight from the rough crystal. Many diamonds crystals are more-or-less octahedrons, so you can get two round (or princess) cut stones top-to-top. Emerald cuts are cut from flatter crystals.

You can also hide a lot more impurities and flaws with a bunch of radiating facets (and the increased scintillation of a round). than in simple, window-like emerald cuts. But usually, weight-retention is what determines diamond’s final cut shape.

]]> By: ChickieD http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1637635 ChickieD Fri, 25 Jan 2013 16:37:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1637635 I recently was married - my second time, his first. I wanted just us and my kid on the beach for some quick "I do's." However, since his parents had never seen him married, he finally conceded that they would want to see him married (they are really old, so stuff like that is really important to them). All his friend who thought he'd never get hitched told us they were going to crash the ceremony. So, we ended up doing a small thing. Because I did not have people in the area to help me, I had the wedding and ceremony at a nice restaurant that would handle all the decorating, catering, cake, flowers. Because people were all traveling long distances, I felt I needed to have a certain level of entertaining - it didn't seem right to serve cake and punch when someone had spent $1000 to fly their family in for the weekend. So, we ended up spending about $10k for about 50-60 guests for the whole weekend of events - and this was really as cheap as we could get it and still do something nice. I think if everyone is local you can do these cake and punch things much easier. I do think it's worth sharing celebrations with people.  However, yeah, the bridezilla stuff definitely kicks in and it can be hard to decide how much is needed to make people feel like thought was put into the event and how much is just getting sucked into the maw of the wedding industrial complex. I recently was married – my second time, his first. I wanted just us and my kid on the beach for some quick “I do’s.” However, since his parents had never seen him married, he finally conceded that they would want to see him married (they are really old, so stuff like that is really important to them). All his friend who thought he’d never get hitched told us they were going to crash the ceremony. So, we ended up doing a small thing. Because I did not have people in the area to help me, I had the wedding and ceremony at a nice restaurant that would handle all the decorating, catering, cake, flowers. Because people were all traveling long distances, I felt I needed to have a certain level of entertaining – it didn’t seem right to serve cake and punch when someone had spent $1000 to fly their family in for the weekend. So, we ended up spending about $10k for about 50-60 guests for the whole weekend of events – and this was really as cheap as we could get it and still do something nice. I think if everyone is local you can do these cake and punch things much easier. I do think it’s worth sharing celebrations with people. 

However, yeah, the bridezilla stuff definitely kicks in and it can be hard to decide how much is needed to make people feel like thought was put into the event and how much is just getting sucked into the maw of the wedding industrial complex.

]]> By: ChickieD http://boingboing.net/2013/01/24/the-crazy-world-of-engagement.html#comment-1637612 ChickieD Fri, 25 Jan 2013 16:23:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=208163#comment-1637612 See the links people have posted above about DeBeers marketing - made up by the diamond industry. Women used to prefer colored stones. That whole "surprise her" thing was put into a bunch of movies in the 40's and 50's to prevent women from returning rings with diamonds in them (because wasn't it so wonderful he surprised you?), and now instead of women being involved in the purchasing decision, it was men doing the buying, men who knew nothing about stones, like that diamonds are totally worthless. See the links people have posted above about DeBeers marketing – made up by the diamond industry. Women used to prefer colored stones. That whole “surprise her” thing was put into a bunch of movies in the 40′s and 50′s to prevent women from returning rings with diamonds in them (because wasn’t it so wonderful he surprised you?), and now instead of women being involved in the purchasing decision, it was men doing the buying, men who knew nothing about stones, like that diamonds are totally worthless.

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