Comments on: Lost pet tortoise found in family storeroom 30 years later

By: jennix

jennix — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 17:26:00 +0000

Tortoise says, “Augh. What is it now?”

By: Brainspore

Brainspore — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 17:46:00 +0000

“We haven’t spoken to anyone else for thousands of years, so we started talking to ourselves.”

By: Luvnish A.T

Luvnish A.T — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 05:38:00 +0000

Zen tortoise has been meditating on the complexity of life the whole time…

By: anansi133

anansi133 — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 02:22:00 +0000

That sounds like a very lonely stretch of time.

By: Brainspore

Brainspore — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 23:56:00 +0000

(Snail finds its way into storeroom, moves gradually across floor, dies of dehydration in a corner, is consumed by ants, shell collects a thick layer of dust.)

Tortoise: “What the fuck was THAT??”

By: Kimmo

Kimmo — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 23:46:00 +0000

Wow, let’s hope tortoises aren’t subject to boredom.

By: Brainspore

Brainspore — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 22:41:00 +0000

Our neighbor’s tortoise did the same thing every once in a while. We’d sometimes find it upside-down in our yard after our labrador got tired of trying to play with it.

By: Syn -

Syn - — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 22:39:00 +0000

Better tell that to Diego Maradona quick! He’ll make a footnote.

By: Brainspore

Brainspore — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 21:47:00 +0000

Termites are mostly water.

By: Diederik Werken

Diederik Werken — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 20:56:00 +0000

Thirty years without water?
Yeah, that’s a likely story.

By: robotnik

robotnik — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 20:54:00 +0000

*clap* [45 minutes later] *clap* [etc.]

By: Jake Rennie

Jake Rennie — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 20:35:00 +0000

I’m sorry I don’t call you more often, grandma.

By: showme

showme — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 20:27:00 +0000

This mean guy lived in my neighborhood when I was a kid. One day he opened his door and there was a tortoise on his porch. The jerk picked it up and threw it as hard as he could!

About 5 years later there was a knock on his door. He opened it. It was the tortoise, who said, “What the hell was that for???!!!

By: James Penrose

James Penrose — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 19:22:00 +0000

They do escape: I had one as a kid but it dug a hole under a fence and got away.

We kept it in a very large backyard and so might go many days without seeing it, so when we noticed it was gone it have been half way down the block. :)

By: Brainspore

Brainspore — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 19:21:00 +0000

The red-footed tortoise feeds in the wild on fruit, leaves, feces…

Huzzah! A self-cleaning pet!

By: soylent_plaid

soylent_plaid — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 18:40:00 +0000

30 years as a stowaway in the storeroom? Go tortoise!

But then again, that means 30 years of tortoise poops. One wonders where he was going to the bathroom this entire time.

By: mindysan33

mindysan33 — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 18:29:00 +0000

Aw! That’s an awesome story! Let’s hear it for a slow metabolism!

By: Adam Christie

Adam Christie — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 18:27:00 +0000

I like the idea of a tortoise “escaping”.

By: Jason Martin

Jason Martin — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 18:26:00 +0000

Title of article should state more clearly if turtle was found dead or alive. I had to click through 2 or 3 things to finally see that he was “reunited, and *remains* the family pet” – (ALIVE).

By: Brainspore

Brainspore — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 18:03:00 +0000

“I was just taking a nap. Did I miss anything?”

By: Tavie

Tavie — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 17:56:00 +0000

My HEART. Poor tortoise.

Gonna go home and hug my Chinese box turtle.*

*Not really, they don’t go for that. I’ll just sing to him.