By Cory Doctorow at 5:36 am Sun, Feb 3, 2013
Behold: the StrawBEARy, a miraculous mutant fruit discovered by Redditor Taybow, and put into the Internets for the greater glory.
Found a strawBEARy! (imgur.com)
That doesn’t look like a bear. It looks like the Virgin Mary.
And I’m not sure it’s appropriate the way that Elvis is looking at her.
I wish there was some way to show this strawberry to the overly-religious. Sometimes a strawberry is just a strawberry. It’s your imagination that gives it extra meaning. Over here last year hundreds of people started praying and crying because a “silhouette” that “resembles” the Virgin Mary “appeared” on the dust film covering the windows of a local church. Well, if only there was a religion that worships bears. This strawberry can be so eBayed!
My spirit animal is a bear…
it’s as though they don’t know about bear fetishes– or the other kind of bear fetishes!
Ursine-ing to imply something?
Well then, if you’re part of the legion of believers flocking to this person’s house to see the miracle, do bring donuts or something else to share.
I’ll bring some bearclaws.
It’s an awesome strawberry, but for some reason, now I want bacon…
…and Bundt cake.
Bacon 6 @ 4:30 P.M. I will be there at 4:29. And bring the strawberry!
Just look at it.
No, you’re thinking of a banana.
Even the bananas are looking at it.
Know what would really be awesome? Bears that look like strawberries!
Giant strawberries that rummage through your bins looking for left overs.
This banana dragon should keep your bins safe.
First thought was “Bearyl Strawberry”
You are what you eat… and sadly I can now confirm what exactly it was that happened on that dark day in Strawberryland. All we had to work with was a red smudge that first was thought to be jelly… sadly it was the remains of Ms. Shortcake.
The StrawBeary will be brought to fruit animal control and most likely will be put down as a danger to society. The public defender appointed to represent The Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak has petitioned the court to release his client from jail in light of this new evidence.
We were unable to reach Custard cat for comment on this sad turn of events.
You are what you eat
Obviously consumption of one of these is required before someone can truly realize what it means to have a right to bear arms. Pic related…
Look like a threat to Freedom® and the American Way of Life. 99 years at Gitmo. Now.
PLANT-i-grade. It’s a fucking fruit.
There’s a Monsanto joke in there somewhere…
THANKS, OBAMA MONSANTO!
I will eat that StrawBear…and then its powers will be mine!
If I were a drug dealer, I would definitely have a strawberry that looks like a bear.
Oh that’s good… that’s beary good!
Finally! Untold years of genetic manipulation bear fruit.
Finally I have vindication that all these years worshipping Lord Shardik have not been in vain.
Ahh thats cool as hell :3
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Jason Weisberger, Publisher
Ken Snider, Sysadmin