Pizza robber's sob story was invented, say cops

A pizza restaurant robber broke down in tears during his heist, then told a story so sad that his victims cooked him a pizza: the need to support his family had forced him into crime. But he lied, say cops: "the man suspected of the crime has no children in town, and he told the story when he realized how little money was in the cash register." [Independent Register]


  1. I love the holdup note! (From the article):

    “Hay Bro r Sis I Don’t wont eny (expletive) just give me what I want AND you wont Get hert OK! Thank you,” the note read, according to police.
    The clerk asked, “What is this?” and the man said, “Just do it,” according to the police affidavit.

    It reminds me of the scene where Woody Allen is trying to rob a bank in “Take The Money And Run”:
    Bank Teller #1: Does this look like “gub” or “gun”? 
    Bank Teller #2: Gun. See? But what does “abt” mean? 
    Woody Allen: It’s “act”. A-C-T. Act natural. Please put fifty thousand dollars into this bag and act natural. 
    Bank Teller #1: Oh, I see. This is a holdup? 

  2. He could have copped a defense often heard in these threads- point out that in history, some laws have been unjust, ergo it is sheeplike and stupid to blindly follow any law for the sake of obeying the law (or expect others to do so), and claim that whatever you did was in fact an enlightened and noble act of civil disobedience. Direct references to the American civil rights movement and slavery optional.

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