How one mom with metastatic cancer talks to her children about cancer

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10 Responses to “How one mom with metastatic cancer talks to her children about cancer”

  1. Totally sucks that your buddy’s cancer came back and appears to be more invasive. I hope she gets through it, and if prospects are as bad as they seem, I hope she can prepare her family for their impending loss. Though can anyone really be prepared for this kind of thing?

    Fuck cancer!

  2. tylerkaraszewski says:

    My wife died yesterday of metastasized colon cancer. This post reminds me so much of all the plans we had a few months ago, when we thought she still had two or three years left. And then her health just continued to deteriorate. She started a blog, but quickly became too sick to update it. She planned to make a memory box for our 17-month-old daughter, but couldn’t complete that, either. The last two weeks at home, under hospice care, where I had to watch her body slowly shut down and her mind dulled by the painkillers that were the only way to keep her close to comfortable, were the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I really wish for the best for your friend.

    • Xeni Jardin says:

      I am so sorry for your loss. So very very sorry. Thank you for sharing here. I wish I had something wiser to say. Just, man. I am so sorry.

    • adamslisa says:

      I am sorry for the death of your wife. As parents I don’t think we can ever accomplish everything we would like to. I fear the future but also know I have a lot to get done in the time I have. Writing is part of that process for me. Thank you for commenting and for reading. 

  3. robert1961 says:

    6 years ago when my wife received the metastatic diagnosis we choose not to tell our boys (11 and 13 at the time) that the disease was incurable.  You looked at all the studies and the ever growing list of treatments and you see that some folks always slip through the statistics.  We told them it was serious but there was always hope. I made that true for me as well.  She left work and stayed home to raise the boys. The illness and the ups and downs of treatment became our normal. We lived several life times within that span that were not focused on the disease. She was very frustrated at the end that she would not get to finish the job of raising our youngest and he took her passing hard but I think ultimately we will have few regrets. I miss her and I am doing my best to not waste her efforts.

    No regrets.

  4. Allie Carnes says:

     I’ve spent the night reading Lisa’s blog. My dad is at the VA Hospital in Chicago tonight, dying from metastatic carcinoma, diagnosed October 2011. My heart breaks for Lisa and her family, just as it does for my own family. My dad isn’t quite as articulate as Lisa, so it was nice to read some things that gave me insight into my father. For that I am grateful. Sending all the good thoughts that I have to Lisa. Thanks for sharing.

    • adamslisa says:

      thank you for reading, and I am so sorry for your dad. I have thought of you every day since you posted this and wondered what his condition was. I am glad if my words somehow made you feel not alone during this time that can be very isolating. xo lisa

  5. mgatch says:

    Wow. Excellent article. I agree wholeheartedly about not keeping the disease or prognosis secret. My Mom died of metastatic colon cancer when she was 48. She kept the cancer secret for more than a year–and then kept its progression secret. Her death seemed so unexpected and devastatingly tragic to our family since everyone thought she would recover.

  6. This is amazing. I remember having this very same conversation with my eldest daughter. I hope I never have to have it again. I wish you better health and many blessings along your journey. That daughter of yours sounds pretty amazing. I see where she gets it from. Namaste

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