Safeway's frozen shepherd's pie looks like poop.

Or possibly vomit.

“We cooked it exactly like it said on the box,” writes PR.
But sometimes the ugliest of foods can still be tasty. Apparently not so much in this case.
“The yellow part tasted a bit like frothy styrofoam and the meat part wasn’t that bad,” he explains.

This Safeway Select Shepherd’s Pie Tastes As Good As It Looks [Chris Morran/Consumerist]

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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rattypilgrim

Why am I not surprised? And what’s with the grill marks on top of what’s supposed to be mashed potatoes (the whole thing baked in the oven)?
- http://gristleoflife.wordpress.com/ Analog Kid
  
  Not grill marks….shadows between ridges.
Jen Onymous

Looks like he ate it and puked it back up.
- SomeGuyNamedMark
  
  Their new slogan, “The meal so nice you’ll want to eat it twice!”
http://burntheflag.ca Jardine

If your poop looks like that, I recommend you see a doctor.
- bobby
  
  that was funny
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  It only looks like that after you’ve eaten the shepherd’s pie.
paddle2paddle

Reminds me of the great British blog, “Barely Edible”
http://www.barelyedible.co.uk/
nachoproblem

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/210/119/+_2acc5a8841f8752904d37f90a8014829.png?1322693145
http://2012diaries.blogspot.com/ tristan eldritch

A lot of good horses died to get that thing on the shelves.
http://profiles.google.com/bentobjects Terry Border

I, for one, CAN NOT BELIEVE that Safeway brand food doesn’t live up to expectations. I am SHOCKED! After all, the food always looks like the picture on the front of the box (sez the ex-commercial photographer while laughing loudly).
- robjmiller
  
  Actually, Safeway frozen food is mostly pretty good. The mushroom ravioli is solid, and the mexican lasagna is the stoniest of stoner foods.
http://twitter.com/chrisjimson chris jimson

So what if it looks like poop? Everything looks like poop after you eat it anyway.

That said, “the meat part wasn’t that bad,” might be a good quote for the front of the package, maybe with the image of a kid eating it while being scolded by his mom holding a rolling pin and wagging her finger.
- bobby
  
  Because the way food looks is what makes it appetizing, by suppressing this instinct, you are flirting with disaster.
Spikeles

I see your poop and raise you a vomit
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Mmmm. Hematemesis.
- http://daruiburns.tumblr.com/ Dlo Burns
  
  Weird, it loaded right to left for me.
- welcomeabored
  
  All part of Weight Watchers stategy to get their customers to lose weight.
  
  That was simply appalling.
http://theladyfingers.blogspot.com/ Ladyfingers

I suppose you just can’t make a shepherd’s pie from animals that need to be wrangled instead of herded.
http://serfer0.tumblr.com/ serfer0

Oh yeah, ALL of the Safeway frozen products look absolutely fucking stunning on the box. Whoever is putting those box designs and pics together is a damn evil genius. Just a few days ago I was considering a box of chocolate cake with a shiny, smooth ganache draped over it ever so lovingly, but then I thought about how every Safeway frozen item I’ve ever bought is just awful. Blech.
http://twitter.com/dhudson0001 dhudson

I once had the opportunity to try this on a cruise ship. I passed, but not without first taking a photo.
- http://www.facebook.com/victor.jimenezmerino Víctor Jiménez Merino
  
  Those are salads with turds on top?
  - http://profiles.google.com/westcarleton Ray Perkins
    
    Looks more like three day-old guacamole.
http://excelsior-station.wikidot.com Sarge Misfit

I haven’t shopped at Safeway in years. Its very nice to be shown that you’ve made a good decision.
- Slartibartfatsdomino
  
  I shop in Safeway practically every day. But I never ever eat the Safeway-brand frozen foods. Instead, I pick up proper ingredients to cook myself a fine home-made meal (tonight was chicken breast in a tomato/garlic/ginger/yogurt/almond/nutmeg sauce over basmati rice). That’s actually pretty easy to do from Safeway, in my experience.
http://www.facebook.com/dpease Dave Pease

That does look pretty unappetizing.

But if you are in need of frozen food, I highly recommend the Safeway chicken enchiladas. They’re really good.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_RREC2OY32JFN6JWSK4KZNBZF7Y Jim

The photo reminds me of the restaurant scene in the movie Brazil (1985).
- oasisob1
  
  A movie which should be required viewing annually.
Velocirapt42

“Wasn’t that bad”! Off to Safeway I go.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/stefan_e_jones/ Stefan Jones

There are few frozen meals from any producer that look as good as they do on the box.

I buy my basic groceries at Safeway about 40% of the time. One of the more pleasant groceries I’ve shopped in; much nicer than the ones I grew up with on the East Coast.

Never touch their frozen meal stuff, though. And their “Chinese” take-out is loathsome.
niktemadur

So THAT’S how The Whitest Kids U Know did it in the sketch – they went to Safeway.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dC4Yb6Ry2B4
Heevee Lister

Two words: “serving suggestion.”

I can’t see the box well enough in the photo to tell whether it’s there, but here in the states, the FTC (IIRC) makes (at least used to make) packaged food makers label their spectacularly optimistic package photos with those words. Most used the smallest, lowest-contrast font they could find, of course.

The idea was to dash our ever-hopeful consumer expectations, warning us that what was inside wouldn’t really look anything like the picture – excuse me, the “illustration.”

I’ve seen a lot of frozen “food” that barely looked the part, but I think this is the first time I’ve seen it look quite so much like – uh, yeah. That.
- Andy Carstairs
  
  Same as here in the UK although the serving suggestion is often “Put it on a plate”.
Boundegar

To be fair, even very good shepherd’s pie looks awful.
brian whittle

That’s why I make my own, Oh and if it’s beef that would be a cottage pie
Beanolini

tasted a bit like frothy styrofoam

My other half has a strange yearning to eat styrofoam. She usually satisfies it with rice cakes.
http://profile.yahoo.com/DH5RJNQ2YC6MWSCEZN7CEYDFHE Alex

There’s no such thing as a beef shepherd’s pie. A shepherd’s pie is made from lamb. They need to rename this cow pie! ;)
- http://profiles.google.com/westcarleton Ray Perkins
  
  Good point, although I think “shepherd’s pie” has become a sort of generic name for any meat/potato pie. And if it was Findus’s it would be “equine delight”.
disqus_F42m9Ppx3k

“the meat part wasn’t that bad” Probably horse then.
bo1n6bo1n6

It’s people. Safeway Shepherds Pie is made out of people. They’re making our food out of people. Next thing they’ll be breeding us like cattle for food. You’ve gotta tell them. You’ve gotta tell them!
howaboutthisdangit

That was a packaging slip-up. The box was supposed to say “Cow Pie.”
Paul Renault

I would have thought that someone would have compiled a video of all the times that Moman tells Thérese that it’s steak, blé ‘dinde, patates in the Québecois satire “La Petite Vie” (Thérese would screw it up, in a different way, once per episode). Pâté chinois (shepherd’s pie) was once voted the national dish of Québec.

In the meantime, the blooper reel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_O31uCoXV4
http://www.nathanhornby.com/ Nathan Hornby

The real question is why are you buying Safeway branded goods and expecting anything different? You disappoint me Mr Doctorow (I’ll assume you have one locally, and that it’s convenient).

I hate to sound pretentious but if you’re buying own-brand from any of the ‘cheap’ supermarkets (namely Asda and Tesco, ESPECIALLY Asda) – then you’re almost definitely buying shit. It’s that cheap for a very good reason. It’s also where they make all the cuts to be able to offer the ‘lowest prices’.

If you have to feed a family of 4 on £20 a week, then fair enough – otherwise it’s a saving at the cost of your own pleasure.

I care about this because even better supermarkets/food shops have joined this ‘offer the cheapest prices game’, and I’ve already seen products I enjoy start to lose quality, all for the sake of a marketing competition and at the expense of suppliers and consumers. So I saved £3, but hated my meal; how does that benefit me?

/rant over
- donovan acree
  
  While I can’t speak on the frozen food front (I hate frozen food), I do buy allot of Safeway branded products. By an large, they are of a higher quality than the name brand at about 2/3 the price. They also tend to include fewer unpronounceable ingredients.
  - http://www.nathanhornby.com/ Nathan Hornby
    
    They may be better than name brands – but most of the name brands aren’t much better to be fair. What are we talking? Findus http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2013/feb/08/findus-problem-lasagne-withdrawa-horsemeat ? Birdseye is alright I guess, but all the usual stuff, Goodfellas, McCain etc. – it’s pretty much all overpriced crap.
    
    I’d choose an M&S/Waitrose/similar own brand product over most name brand (although let’s be fair, we’re only talking marginally better, I’m not pretending it’s a whole different world). The same may be the case at Safeway actually, just realised I haven’t been there in what must be 6 years, I could be judging them unfairly – I’m just going on my personal experience.
    
    The only thing they’re all equally bad at is fruit and veg. Unsurprisingly storing fresh produce in carbon dioxide for 6 months takes its toll. Supermarket veg actually often makes me mad – I’ll be honest.
    
    Someone put it better than me elsewhere on the internet just yesterday: “It’s a race to the bottom with the only loser being you”. We demand cheaper prices, and that’s what they deliver. By the time everyone realises that they’re buying absolute crap it’ll be too late; we’re not far off as it is.
    
    / rant apparently not over yet
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  What part of this being a story from Consumerist is unclear to you?
  - http://www.nathanhornby.com/ Nathan Hornby
    
    Evidently all of it!
zotlerg

Where has the potato topping gone? Surely spuds are the cheapest part of this ‘meal.’
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=548669917 Linsey Young

Soylent green. Just sayin’
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000514614299 Kelly Hildemann

Here’s a thought: Make your own damn pie and don’t eat frozen crap in a box.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Frozen crap in a box is cheaper than its ingredients.
peregrinus

‘Safeway Select’, ‘Classic Entree’, ‘Seasoned Ground Beef’

The holy trinity of appetite triggers. In one fine serving. It’s specially chosen, it’s french, and it has salt pepper, and perhaps other ‘mysterious’ seasonings.

The dining precipice off which one would fall on witnessing the microwaved results must be high, and the drop terrible, and the stop just crushing.

How? Why? Why do they do this? Bastards. Recycle them into Fresh Selected Bastard Pie.
Cowicide

Safe way? – Mr. Bungle
flickerKuu

Check the box- I think you just bought fake barf. (Or real barf)
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=661600086 David Huff

Sorry, but I’m calling BS on this one. One local supermarket chain here in D/FW is Tom Thumb,a subsidiary of Safeway, and we buy this product all the time during the colder months of the year. It comes out of the oven looking substantially like the picture on the box (with allowances for “professional food photography”) and dishes out like, well…regular old shepard’s pie with the meat filling below and the potatoes on top. The sample on the plate shown here looks like it was stirred rather vigorously before the picture was taken – and there isn’t a shepard’s pie made that would look pretty after *that* treatment.

So if you don’t like shepard’s pie, that’s fine – but make sure people know that before casting aspersions on a reasonable, if certainly not gourmet, product.