Weather Channel naming winter storms

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32 Responses to “Weather Channel naming winter storms”

  1. fuzzyfuzzyfungus says:

    “In the interest of honesty, we would like to let our viewers know that winter storm ‘some bullshit our branding consultant got paid too much to think up’ is expected this week, with a long-range forcast of storms ‘Sometimes I lie and tell people I’m a meteorologist’ and ‘crippling postmondern ennui’ in the coming month.”

  2. Funk Daddy says:

    Psssh, they think we stupid, we can’t follow weather?

    Naming the storms allows more effective hyper-sensationalization and big blinking red stuff on the screen.

    • Brian McKeever says:

      Yep–I have pretty much stopped tuning in TWC since they hired that vacuous celibritard, Al Roker, but I do still regularly check the website and cannot remember the last time there wasn’t a red severe weather warning banner at the top of the main page.  I guess there is always a thunderstorm or snow flurry SOMEWHERE on the planet.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      If they had named the first one Blizzard Bilbo, no one would be complaining.

  3. And it seems to be working.

  4. Sam Ley says:

    Next step, sponsored storms! Only instead of paying to get your own company named in the storm, you pay to get your competitor blamed!

    “Horrific damage to the northeast from Super Storm “Shitty Snacks” brought to you by Doritos, the official crappy snack chip of this horrible storm! Paid for by Pirate Booty.”

    • Sam Ley says:

      My.. My mother tragically lost her life during flooding caused by Super Storm Acura Isn’t A Real Luxury Car Brought To You By BMW. I’ll always remember her.

      • Nash Rambler says:

        Let us not forget the billions of dollars in damage, the untold lives lost, caused by Super Storm Miller Lite.  Miller Lite.  It’s *sob* triple hopped.

    • Felton / Moderator says:

      This comment brought to you by Carl’s Jr.

  5. jeaguilar says:

    NWS announced last year they would not be using TWC’s names.

  6. Nash Rambler says:

    I knew it!  I knew that someone had been nudging the “hype” knob on weather forecasts from when I was a kid!  Curse you Weather Channel, and your alarming me promptly on the eights!

  7. angusm says:

    I suspect that this is all part of the Weather Channel’s master plan to reposition itself as “weathertainment”.

    I look forward to their breathless coverage of Minor Heat Emergency Malvolio later this year.

  8. Mark Neumayer says:

    Can we get a Venn diagram plotting the intersection of names chosen for storms and names of former significant others of TWC’s marketing department?

  9. Tribune says:

    Are they going to copyright the storms too?

  10. sqyntz says:

    what a noble altruistic endeavor.. do they take donations? let me get my checkbook

  11. TheOven says:

    Doesn’t the US govt. already have a Weather Service in charge of this? And haven’t they refused to name winter storms? Yes, I think that’s the case.

    • esquire says:

      Yeah, but the gubmint is in the process of privatizing the weather.  Next up – outsourcing.  Hope you like blizzards, India!

  12. mccrum says:

    Sure, Nemo’s not named after the cartoon fish.  That’s why the next winter storm name is Orko.  Not after the floating guy in He Man.

  13. Michael Holloway says:

    Up here in Canada we have a weather network too. Soo much potential to crowd source storm media in real time — but what do they do? Talking head in front of a blue screen showing a series of NOAA satellite images.

    Someone, please start an Internet based weather channel utilizing all the social tools – and sweep them into the dust bin of history … please.

    • Funk Daddy says:

      edit – Dear Mike this post is a random rant and in no way directed at you, I guess I hit reply or something because you are also in Canada though I have never seen this channel of which you speak.

      Is it this “Nemo” that dumped 1 1/2 feet of snow on me today? Because I’m not impressed not even a little bit. And my driveway is well over a hundred feet. Didnt even need a skidsteer, just walked a blower up and down it 3 times. 

      Soft. fluffy wimpy snow with a lil whippy wind drifting it against the vehicles it will take me like 3 minutes to dig that car out for the wife tomorrow morning. 

      The first serious snowfall of the season was wet, dense, higher and way tougher. A moderate shovel full weighed over 10lbs and it did need the skidsteer. I lifted it off the car in large 20lb torso sized chunks that stayed together.

      That storm didn’t even have a name and I still wasn’t impressed. Because it is weather, which I like, but must refuse to make a fuss over.

  14. Mame Maloney says:

    Weathertainment is a real thing! My mom watches the weather channel for fun. Like, for hours at a stretch. The more flashing warnings and video coverage of traffic lights swaying in the wind, the better. These named storms are just icing on the entertaining cake. 

  15. aldeka says:

    This whole winter storm naming thing is bullshit. In my day, it just snowed, or didn’t, and you read the weather report in the newspaper and dug yourself out and went on with your life. Or spun out into a ditch and died, whichever.

  16. EvilSpirit says:

    By the authority invested in me by me, I dub this blizzard “Winter Storm Nimoy.”

  17. RICHARD M. MORENCY says:

    Now the question is — will the names activate any “named storm deductibles” for those whose homeowners insurance policies have such clauses?

  18. TacoChuck says:

    Serious weather geek alert here. I mean big flashing warning notices type thing.

    If you are a weather nut like me, but cannot stand the sort of dumbed down packaged crap you get from someplace like the weather channel this site might be of interest to you.

    It is not a weather site in the typical sense, it is a website for amateur forecasters/hobbyist meteorology types and as such it is highly technical without pre-packaged anything, just models and visualized data:

    http://simuawips.com/

  19. Stuart says:

    Let’s just not go along with it.

    • Funk Daddy says:

      I second this recommendation. 

      If someone references a storm by name to you do this.

      Let your eyes glaze over and say something intelligent yet somehow slightly condescending about whatever pop culture reference, literature, movie or other that the name was sourced from. 

      If they dare “correct” you then you can “Oh, you mean when it snowed last week” or “Yes I understand that there will be snow later in the week” *chuckle* it Is February *with a smile*.

      They won’t much like it but they won’t likely admit to knowing any storm names again, probably adopt your technique too if you do it well.

      “Nemo” would be gem for this tactic.

      damn this nightime neocitran is powerful stuff. Imma hit post anyway as I have long establisged that I do not care

  20. skullivan says:

    Has anyone looked through the list of names? It’s a geek reference treasure trove. I’d be willing to bet that whoever came up with Nemo was thinking Jules Verne or Winsor McKay, not Pixar.

    Hurricanes have been named for decades, if nor’easter’s are going to be named anyway at least they’re picking interesting fictional names. People named Sandy or Katrina are probably all for that too.

  21. townandgownie says:

    TWC is a bunch of media hogging whores. And the worse new thing they started doing is “rating” storms from 1-10. They predicted “Nemo” (yeech!) would be a 9/10 and 10/10 in certain places.

    Excellent marketing. No longer does TWC have to make, you know, accurate and scientific predictions, just qualitative ones.

    Who could argue that a storm was only an 8/10?

    Pricks.

  22. Donna Sayers says:

    Well, if nothing else, every one of them won’t be referred to as “the storm of the Century” or the “perfect storm”.

  23. ChickieD says:

    Does anyone remember when Al Sharpton I think it was wanted the hurricane naming people to include African American names in the hurricane naming scheme? I was like, YES! I totally want Hurricane Requisha and Tropical Storm Tawanda pounding up the coast. Bring it on! Like, who would not want that??? They were total losers to not do it. I thought it would jazz things up SO much. As long as the weather channel folks are going to do it, I encourage them to dig down deep and have fun with their naming project. Get edgy. Get urban. Go ethnic. Nemo – good start. 

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