Finally, a cure for HIPSTER

"If you make things at home that you can easily buy at the supermarket ... see if Unpretentiousil is right for you." — guilty as charged, but hey, also paraben- and sulfate-free! [Video Link]


  1. I’ve been taking the generic version of Unpretensiousil 30 times a day for fifteen years, and I’ve never been happier.

  2. “do you have a beard?” fuck you. if you hadn’t lost me in the first 4 seconds, i’d be promoting Unpretentiousil to everyone i know!

    1. The beard is just one of many symptoms. Plenty of normal people have beards. Are you a bearded guy in a fedora? You need Unpretensiousil.

          1. NO NO NO. Ron Swanson is not a hipster. Do not be so insulting and offensive.  Ron Swanson is the opposite of hipster. Ron Swanson ACTUALLY knows how to make an entire fleet of boats from one big ass tree. Ron Swanson actually does NOT care what you think. Ron Swanson is cooler than you. Cooler than me. Cooler than everyone.

            Ron Swanson is the anti-hipster.

    1. Right. Hipsters never seem to admit to being hipsters. 

      It’s a discernible group of people doing many similar things that doesn’t have a collective identity because its members are so obsessively individualistic (which makes them, ironically, dupes of the obsessively individualistic larger culture that they so assiduously reject).

          1. Well, at least I’m now certain I’m not a hipster: I don’t care if you think I’m trying too hard!

            Wait, does that actually make me a hipster?

            I’m in the hipster vortex again!

    2. Hipster isn’t a traditional subculture. Most subcultures self identify pretty readily when asked. I hang with goth and industrial kids and they all self identify as goth and industrial folks. They do more than that, but if you ask, they will say and “yeah, I am into that”. Hipsters don’t self identify. Hipster bitch and moan about hipsters. No one ever actually self identifies as a hipster, and all hipsters complain about hipsters. I think what makes hipsters unique in subcultures is that the subculture is so heavily over defined that anyone can examine themselves and say “nah, that isn’t me” while at the same time everyone around that person (also hipster, BTW) can be like “OMG A HIPSTER!” because they meet some of the many criteria.

      Let me murder this cycle once and for all. All of my friends who say they are not hipsters? Total fucking hipsters. Me? Hipster. Do you live in a city and read BoingBoing? Probably a fucking hipster. Do we all meet total package? Nope, but close enough.

      I’m out and proud. Hipster pride! I don’t want the fucking cure.

      1. Usually I make a distinction, consumer hipsters get the hate, while creative hipsters get the love.

        It’s very easy: Do you create stuff? creative hipster (less negative vibe)

        Do you buy shit, and are you defined by buying and consumption? consumer hipster

        The problem now is connoisseurship.  Is that just a consumer hipster? For the most part. If you’re using it to be a prick yes. If you say really care about tea or coffee, ok well have fun going to try avoid judging you.

        Anyways my summary: you get respect for being creative, not consuming.

        Addendum: a few of the subcultures are basically pure consumption which means I look at them the same way as consumer hipsters regardless of irony.

  3. Congratulations, BB is now written by older people than NYTimes & New Yorker writers combined. 2008 hipster this hipster that. Shoot me in the face.

    1. you’re welcome to take a few thousand of them out of the SF bay area if you’re tired of hearing about them.  I wish there were more Dedouchefin to pass around here.  Congratulations on being above it all–now go back to Instagraming your breakfast.

    1. Faker! People who are on Fukitol don’t think very often about drug interactions. And when they do…

    1. I actually found something new to make fun of just the other day. It’s pretty edgy so most of you probably haven’t heard of it. I mean, I liked bagging on hipsters but I just feel like it wasn’t really the same as it used to be…

    1. I once went to a Bassnecter show in California. No, those hipsters didn’t just have “different interests” than me; they were very clearly from another planet.

      I’m from Phoenix … we don’t really have hipsters. It was like a wake-up call. Those were hipsters! I felt so out of place…

      1. hip·ster
        noun ˈhip-stər: someone who acts differently or lives in a different locale than you (ex. “that gentleman from Pakistan who makes his own bread from scratch in a clay oven sure is a hipster”)

        1. By “different locale”, do you mean mars?

          Anyway, I wouldn’t consider that guy from Pakistan to be a hipster, but rather someone who loves to make bread. Now, if he wore a hat with ears in the summer, and weird pants that don’t match his weird shirt with the weird, neon-green tie? Yeah, that’d be a dude from mars. Or a hipster. Either works.

          Are you from mars? Are you a hipster? You seem awfully defensive! Perhaps you need to get a better disguise! You’re not fooling us, man from mars!

          1. Okay, here we go again… let’s see if I’ve got it straight…
            hip·sternoun ˈhip-stər: someone who wears “weird” clothes, such as people from Pakistan and Martians. See also people with moustaches, though not Ron Swanson, but rather people with “weird” moustaches (ex. attached image of Pakistani mustachioed hipster in “weird” clothes) 

          2. You found the Hipster’s Hipster.

            I am in a vortex of hipster and I don’t know how to get out. I am lost. Please help me.

        1. I hope you’re being sarcastic. It’s heavily dubstep-inspired EDM! There was actual cans of PBR to buy, no lie.

          And awesome, btw. Not really into EDM all that much (I went with friends, totally randomly), but occasionally something catches my interest. He is fun and the show was great.

          1. That’s because Bassnectar isn’t really EDM in the traditional sense or Dubstep, though he was one of the guys doing a bit of the latter. he still occasionally gets a case of the womp womps.  

            Guys like Skrillex took what Bassnectar was doing and turned it into the abomination that is modern Dubstep today (though to be fair he’s not as bad as some).Maybe I’m just being a nitpicky hipster though… :)Btw, if you like Bassnectar you may like people like the Glitch Mob, which also sometimes get lumped in with the Dubstep crap, but have their own style.

          2. @JimEJim:disqus  Which is why I said “dubstep-inspired” but, as someone who knows a tad about the scene but i still looking in from the outside: It’s EDM, honey. :)

            But otherwise  I agree with you. And I know how Glitch Mob is, a well. They are fun. My best friend, whom I went to see Banectar with, is super into this stuff, as in super-super, and every now and again, something stick!
            I also super love Bluetech, and I’m not normally into the more down-tempo stuff.

            Well, that was off-topic. I just don’t want to go to work.

  4. Wait! I think I got it!
    noun ˈhip-stər: someone who has “weird” hair and uses many Apple products (ex. see attached image)

    1. ’68 Jagger hair, That 70’s denim shirt, blogger with digital camera… yep, that’s the guy. Get him!

  5. The missing part of this story is that the video was created by Ohio’s Crossroads Church. 

    Stealing clips off the internet (fair use under parody, I guess?) to be extremely judgemental about yet another sub-culture that it’s cool to laugh at is what Jesus would do, I guess. 

      1. I think your lament should be reserved for all the poverty that exists, the various wars or human rights violations, or similar such world problems, rather than aimed at a nebulous subculture of people who are really just expressing themselves and following their interests. Do you also lament at how “bad music has gotten?” Be careful, you might just be growing old and ornery, even in your own youth!

    1. Hipsters have existed for ever.  It’s the pretentious attitudes and generally dickish behavior that provokes irritation, not their stupid clothes and unflattering eyewear.

  6. People spending time creating things like this is the reason that cancer does not have a cure.

    Seriously, I have a this sneaking feeling that if you don’t look at them, they turn into scientists. It’s totally worth a shot.

  7. I’m old. I remember when everyone bagged on goths, then emo (whatever that was) and now hipsters. 

    I guess I feel like the status quo won’t be maintained unless there is a group of young folks to bag on. 

    1. I’m old. I remember when everyone bagged on goths, then emo (whatever that was) and now hipsters.

      That’s old? In my school, boys were sent to detention if their hair touched their collars, and girls weren’t allowed to wear pants.

      1.  Oh, god, yes. Long hair was a sign of violent rebellion. Crazy… And it was only after May 68 (I went to a French school) that girls were allowed to wear pants (in Winter only) and boys could wear ties that weren’t solid navy blue.
        Eh, it’s all a reaction to a reaction to a reaction… ad infinitum. My father came from Europe, and he saw industrial white bread as fulfilling the American promise that we could all live like nobility. I go to a bakery (or my wife bakes bread) as a reaction to that generation. No better and no worse, I suppose, but maybe we’ll have less diabetes. Maybe.

      2. I’m hoping you are from the colonies. “Girls weren’t allowed to wear pants” sounds Jimmy Savile wrong in the Old Country.

  8. Admittedly, it’s a fine line ᴮᴱᵀᵂᴱᴱᴺ thought-provoking and pretentious. You know those academics like bell hooks who insist ᴼᴺ lowercasing their proper names? Pretentious. Oooh, look ᴬᵀ me, I’m making a “statement.” Whatever.

    But that doesn’t mean there’s no way to get some orthographical self-expression. ᴬˢ an example, BoingBoing is a little too conformist to allow me to express the HTML artistry that I’ve mastered during my time ᴼᴺ Myspace. I like to superscript my prepositions, but that would be ᴬᴳᴬᴵᴺˢᵀ their “rules.” 

    Fortunately, there are these obscure Unicode character blocks… eh, forget it, you wouldn’t know ᴬᴮᴼᵁᵀ them.

      1. Iᅠwasᅠintoᅠfixed-widthᅠbeforeᅠit wasᅠcool.ᅠAlsoᅠfixies ,ᅠTheᅠPixies,ᅠPixyᅠStix,ᅠandᅠcompetitiveᅠadultᅠpick-up-sticks.

  9.  I guess I just don’t get the hate.  So fucking what if people are into stuff?  And we are all pretentious in our own ways – there isn’t one of us who doesn’t labour under the illusion that we have ample common sense and a solid idea of how the world works.

    When I was in my early-mid-20s I tried really hard to shoehorn myself into ‘hippie’ culture, which didn’t fit well for me or the paragons of same.  Now, like most people over 25, I just do things I like and hope others do the same.  If it looks pretentious, well, fuckem.

  10. Meh… I like it when people complain about hipsters. As a person who never fits in I find it really wonderful that so many people want to not fit in. Ironically, I don’t fit in with them… or maybe that’s unironically now? I’ve been through lots of subcultural trends that went… um… cultural. Anyway… I’m getting old. Old people have their own thing going.

    Everywhere you go in this world old people are like “Yep. You know it.”

    I also grew up in Austin, and now that I’m back here it doesn’t look that different to me even with all the hipsters. Somehow all the college or grad school aged people with tats from the nineties have just regenerated like in that movie Cocoon.

    I felt awkward around them when I was 16 and I feel awkward now. That’s social anxiety for you! But I do like Bassnectar.

  11. Can we please separate veganism and fair trade from the hipster community perception, already? As a vegan in San Francisco, I can honestly say I don’t know a single vegan who could also be called a hipster. Have fun with your little ad hominem culture wars between hipsters and conservatives but shut up with your implicit defending of factory farming because it’s “normal.”

    1. “Reflexive negative reaction to having lifestyle choices labeled as ‘Hipster’?”

      Yup, jicksta, you are so totally a hipster!

  12. If a person from any point in the past were magically transported to America today, they’d describe seeing men dressed like boys and a few normal people (hipsters).

    1. Of course I can’t find it now, but in some earlier thread someone provided a link to a story in (the New Yorker? something like that) in which a guy pulls a Rip Van Winkle for about 80 years and wakes up to find he’s in current time with his great-grandson.  One of his observations is that women basically look the same in Brooklyn: they are all emaciated from not having enough to eat, and are wearing rags.

  13. This meme has become utterly preposterous and annoys the living shit out of me. It is snobby and condescending in EXACTLY the way it purports to mock- it carves out whole swaths of people on stupendously superficial grounds and purports to somehow know that their interests and style and pursuits are somehow ‘ironic’ (btw I don’t think you actually know what irony is dude) all for the sake and only the sake of appearing cool to others (as if young people wanting to be cool or look stylish is something that only started in the aughties!). So now if you wanna have a beard, or wear clothes that fit the way you like or reflect current styles, or wanna do any DIY shit like make home-made pickles or kombucha, or you like yr bike a lot, or are into music that isn’t mainstream, or you have ethical objections to eating animal products, it’s suddenly fair game to paint you as a vacuous fraud and douchebag. Fuck that shit, mang. I blame my generation (gen X). Because we were the first generation to really come up (80s) in a world that placed SO much weight on being ‘cool’ and now we’re getting old and we’re pissed that there are people younger than us and they’ve got their own fucking thing going and we’re not the shit anymore. Since we’re not cool anymore we don’t want anyone to be- we say oh we were so much REALER and kids today man are just so FAKE, blahdefuckingblah. I call infinite bullshit on all of it. It’s a bunch of judgmental hypocritical asshattery propagated by a bunch of aging and/or square folks who can’t handle not being in on youth culture anymore. Because us 35+ year-olds are too cool to do our nostalgia/mortality crap in the traditional way (the youth are tearing apart the fabric of society!) we need to undermine their sincerity instead. You think something is silly, fine, but don’t pretend you know whether someone else is genuine or not.

    1. Doesn’t it occur to you it’s mostly hipsters making the videos of hipster hating?

      Indifference and apathy would be a more realistic assessment of most people’s feelings I imagine.

      1. that just doesn’t wash: no tight jean tatted up beardos with nerd glasses are making fun of each other for wearing tight jeans or nerd glasses or tats or beards. I only ever hear people who I’d never identify as hipsters bitching about hipsters.

  14. Ahhh, yes, fair trade. Making sure that products you buy are produced not just in an economically sustainable way but also with guarantees of environmental standards, democracy for workers, and fair treatment of children and women — clearly the mark of a douchebag. Let’s all buy petroleum products from big box stores to prove that we aren’t members of some comically-made up youth non-culture.

    1. Actually the problem is this: Are you sure you’re getting what you pay for, or are you paying for a questionable agency to inflate the price of what you’re buying which is ultimately your clear conscious about being a top consumer living a life of luxury?

      And THAT really *is* the hallmark of a douchebag.

      1. Well, “clear” for some, but “just a bit clearer, with lots of other work to do” for others.

      2.  While I think it’s unfortunate that there’s watering-down of the certifications recently, fair trade really does make a meaningful difference in people’s lives, far beyond “inflated prices”. You can hide behind a shield of “oh, it doesn’t really matter, so I’ll just do whatever” if you like, but authentic fair trade really does matter, and I don’t care if you call me a “hipster” or a “hippie” or whatever other dismissive term.

        1. Lol. You’re awfully defensive when talking to a person who sleeps on a mat on the floor and eats off of folded newspaper. My point is this: you could just NOT buy coffee.

          But of course, continue to divide the world into lazy fat american suburbans who shop at Walmart because they’re trash and Western white knights of the world saving the third world from becoming imperialists one glossy franchise along a “reclaimed” urban street at a time.

          *by the way I’m not claiming to be poor. Just having had a cataclysmic set of life changes and moves I ended up giving almost everything I owned to family and am by my own volition living this way.

          To be totally honest and open (because really that’s who and what I am) I think that “hipster” is a term used by privileged urban dwellers to poke fun at themselves and each other; and “hippie” is a complicated thing to me (partly how I was raised and partly a dead term used either to throw shade or to pity play).

          1. Fiar traid is not just for coffee. Living a simple lifestyle helps the world too, so I commend you for that. I’m not saying fair trade is sufficient, but when you do buy things from developing countries, you can do so in a way that makes a positive difference. I don’t see how it’s at all constructive to make fun of that.

  15. I’ve been using Unpretentiousil since way before they were making commercials for the stuff.

    (Oh I am sure someone already said that, but I couldn’t be bothered to read -all- the comments).

  16. People keep using this word. I still haven’t figured out what it means. It was referenced in the new series of Community as well, as something to do with people wearing glasses they don’t need?

  17. Why not just not take it, and continue looking, acting, and thinking like every other hipster instead?

  18. What bugs me most about the current usage of the word “hipster” is that I no longer have an easy way to refer to the late-1940s subculture of middle-class White boys who used Black slang and dressed like Latinos.

    It’s like if we suddenly started calling some contemporary subculture “Macaronis,” and then everyone who studies 18th c. culture would be screwed.

  19. Not quite. It’s a projection surface for people who think a lot, but in a lot of the same ways, about how to distinguish themselves.

  20. attack the neuro-receptors that control your need to look, act, and think differently than everyone else?

    i guess fat mike/nofx was right – swimming alone at sea is not the kind of freedom that you actually want

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