Gary Busey explains Hobbits

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36 Responses to “Gary Busey explains Hobbits”

  1. Once again, Gary Busey puts voice to everything that I am thinking.

  2. eliterrell says:

    Is it too soon to reboot the franchise? Kickstarter anyone?

  3. Spinkter says:

    That NFL cap screams “Hobbit Expert”

  4. Bucket says:

    After watching this I now suspect that Gary Busey is the actual writer of “Axe Cop”. 

    • eldritch says:

      So you’re saying that Gary Busey sounds like a six or seven year old boy? That’s… actually not that unreasonable an assessment.

      That said, Busey needs to have a cameo in Axe Cop.

  5. entireleaves says:

    I was down at Muscle Beach in Santa Monica watching some hot gymnast on the rings and I turned and Gary Busey was standing right next to me.  He stared right into my eyes and I’m pretty sure he stole my mortal soul. Haven’t been the same since.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      I had almost the same experience with Shirley MacLaine at a Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence dog show.

    • welcomeabored says:

      Sat two tables down from Busey in an Italian restaurant on W. 57th.  I stole glances, my husband stole glances, the two women from Staten Island to my right stole glances, and we’re all thinking, ‘Is that really Gary Busey?’  Me and my husband couldn’t believe our eyes because we were tourists from Colorado, and also because he looked about 15 years younger than either one of us, although he’s actually 15 years older.  In that entire hour we occupied the same dining space, Gary neither turned his head right or left acknowledging the presence of anyone else in the restaurant, not even when excusing himself to his companion (older woman… mother? aunt?) to go (presumably) to the bathroom and returning.  Zero eye contact.  Haven’t been the same since… that Gary carries some powerful juju.

  6. Fire Tolkien. Busey’s telling is superior in every way.

  7. Meiles02 says:

    NFL? Not F***ing Likely?

  8. Meiles02 says:

    It was this exact same rambling incoherence when he presented his paper on Homo Floresiensis at the anthropology conference in Indonesia. Set the whole field back decades.

    • sfnate says:

      I was there. He did no such thing. He stole the show with his daring deconstruction of Leakey’s hypothesis. You may call this a setback, but from what I observed, it put some real excitement into the proceedings, which up to that point had been dominated by pointy-headed preaching about science and whatever. Scientists are always trying to prove things. Busey at least has the courage to explain stuff in a way that makes ordinary people more comfortable, similar to the relief provided by Relax Fit Jeans. Science is a pair of tight trousers. We need to exhale and let our guts find their natural limits in clothes that suit our modern shape, which rejects the corset and welcomes gravity rather than beating it back with a slide rule.

  9. Gerald Mander says:

    I think his synapses are inches apart now.

  10. sfnate says:

    When you say “inches” apart, I can only conclude from this that you lack any knowledge of neuroscience. Whatever bridges the tiny gaps in Busey’s mind, I can assure you that they do not require inches to traverse the space between a) this thought and b) the next. We are talking about an infinitesimally small distance, which as you are well aware, is all it takes to cover the ground Busey describes. If it were really the “inches” you claim it is, we would never get to the end of it, let alone reach the conclusions to which he leaps (which for a man of his years, is remarkable in itself).

    • Gerald Mander says:

       He doesn’t leap to conclusions, he pole vaults to them.

      • sfnate says:

        Unlikely, but however he manages to get there, it does not necessarily follow that his brain is the size of Saturn, which would be the case if your statement about his synapses being “inches” apart were literally true. I don’t think you intended that, but some readers might be confused by these casual metaphors you’re tossing around.

        • eldritch says:

          Are you being pedantic on purpose? Or is it merely an accidental form of humourlessness and obnoxiousness?

          • sfnate says:

            Humourlessness is revealed in many ways. I appreciate your contribution and look forward to many more subtle indications of your current struggles against irony in all its forms.

          • marilove says:

            I heard this great quote from John Scalzi recently and it seems to fit:

            The failure mode of ‘clever’ is ‘asshole.’

            Sometimes, when you try too hard to be clever, it doesn’t quite pan out, does it?

          • welcomeabored says:

            Oh please, sfnate, stick around and I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.  Simply hilarious.

        • Stooge says:

          It’s sweet of you to be concerned about people less able than yourself to understand what Gerald was getting at, but rest assured that there’s no-one to your left on that particular bell curve.

  11. Ed Ligget. Tuba. says:

    You know, like everyone else, I just assumed for the last few years that Gary Busey was crazy.  Now I’m not so sure.  This may just turn out to be the world’s greatest troll, a la Joaquin Phoenix.

  12. EeyoreX says:

    Go home, Gary Busey, you’re. . . Gary Busey.

  13. pjcamp says:

    He’s like a senile magic 8 ball.

  14. Petzl says:

    Gary never disappoints.

  15. bobcorrigan says:

    Let us comfortably mock – from a great distance – the obvious mental impediments on display in this man!  Perhaps we can convince him to don a suit of motley and caper about, so that we may laugh knowingly at his foolish japes without any sense of shame.

    Because this is getting medieval.

  16. Roger says:

    I was with a buddy of mine down in Malibu having breakfast with a screenplay writer friend.  And Busey walks in and happens to be a friend of the writer.  So he comes by and says hi.  Anyway, you know that feeling you get when you are in the same room with crazy?  Where you get the instinctive feeling to run and you don’t know why?  I got that in spades when Busey was standing there.  Just be thankful there is a barrier between his rantings and you.  It’s important to observe him from a distance.    

  17. CLamb says:

    Thank goodness someone is finally bringing Hobbitism to the attention of the world!

  18. Jeff Scherr says:

    Busey has a strange attitude. I have a feeling he needs to take a NAP!

  19. It’s awesome to use somebody suffering from mental illness for entertainment.

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