Gary Busey explains Hobbits

Gary Busey says: "Ramping up a show about me doing short 1-5 minute Q&A's, Buseyism, and randomness. Wanted to share some things we have for you."

Also: Inner Tubes (How to molest an Inner Tube), and Hobbits... Hobbits... And Witches


    1. So you’re saying that Gary Busey sounds like a six or seven year old boy? That’s… actually not that unreasonable an assessment.

      That said, Busey needs to have a cameo in Axe Cop.

  1. I was down at Muscle Beach in Santa Monica watching some hot gymnast on the rings and I turned and Gary Busey was standing right next to me.  He stared right into my eyes and I’m pretty sure he stole my mortal soul. Haven’t been the same since.

    1. I had almost the same experience with Shirley MacLaine at a Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence dog show.

    2. Sat two tables down from Busey in an Italian restaurant on W. 57th.  I stole glances, my husband stole glances, the two women from Staten Island to my right stole glances, and we’re all thinking, ‘Is that really Gary Busey?’  Me and my husband couldn’t believe our eyes because we were tourists from Colorado, and also because he looked about 15 years younger than either one of us, although he’s actually 15 years older.  In that entire hour we occupied the same dining space, Gary neither turned his head right or left acknowledging the presence of anyone else in the restaurant, not even when excusing himself to his companion (older woman… mother? aunt?) to go (presumably) to the bathroom and returning.  Zero eye contact.  Haven’t been the same since… that Gary carries some powerful juju.

  2. It was this exact same rambling incoherence when he presented his paper on Homo Floresiensis at the anthropology conference in Indonesia. Set the whole field back decades.

    1. I was there. He did no such thing. He stole the show with his daring deconstruction of Leakey’s hypothesis. You may call this a setback, but from what I observed, it put some real excitement into the proceedings, which up to that point had been dominated by pointy-headed preaching about science and whatever. Scientists are always trying to prove things. Busey at least has the courage to explain stuff in a way that makes ordinary people more comfortable, similar to the relief provided by Relax Fit Jeans. Science is a pair of tight trousers. We need to exhale and let our guts find their natural limits in clothes that suit our modern shape, which rejects the corset and welcomes gravity rather than beating it back with a slide rule.

  3. When you say “inches” apart, I can only conclude from this that you lack any knowledge of neuroscience. Whatever bridges the tiny gaps in Busey’s mind, I can assure you that they do not require inches to traverse the space between a) this thought and b) the next. We are talking about an infinitesimally small distance, which as you are well aware, is all it takes to cover the ground Busey describes. If it were really the “inches” you claim it is, we would never get to the end of it, let alone reach the conclusions to which he leaps (which for a man of his years, is remarkable in itself).

      1. Unlikely, but however he manages to get there, it does not necessarily follow that his brain is the size of Saturn, which would be the case if your statement about his synapses being “inches” apart were literally true. I don’t think you intended that, but some readers might be confused by these casual metaphors you’re tossing around.

        1. Are you being pedantic on purpose? Or is it merely an accidental form of humourlessness and obnoxiousness?

          1. Humourlessness is revealed in many ways. I appreciate your contribution and look forward to many more subtle indications of your current struggles against irony in all its forms.

          2. I heard this great quote from John Scalzi recently and it seems to fit:

            The failure mode of ‘clever’ is ‘asshole.’

            Sometimes, when you try too hard to be clever, it doesn’t quite pan out, does it?

          3. Oh please, sfnate, stick around and I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.  Simply hilarious.

        2. It’s sweet of you to be concerned about people less able than yourself to understand what Gerald was getting at, but rest assured that there’s no-one to your left on that particular bell curve.

  4. You know, like everyone else, I just assumed for the last few years that Gary Busey was crazy.  Now I’m not so sure.  This may just turn out to be the world’s greatest troll, a la Joaquin Phoenix.

    1. Follow the money. If it leads you to an expensive mental health facility, then we’ll know. Otherwise, no one should begrudge an old man his hobbies.

        1. Touché. I take back what I said before. I can’t understand half the things that are posted here anyway. The rest I just enjoy for the pleasure of reading.

  5. Let us comfortably mock – from a great distance – the obvious mental impediments on display in this man!  Perhaps we can convince him to don a suit of motley and caper about, so that we may laugh knowingly at his foolish japes without any sense of shame.

    Because this is getting medieval.

  6. I was with a buddy of mine down in Malibu having breakfast with a screenplay writer friend.  And Busey walks in and happens to be a friend of the writer.  So he comes by and says hi.  Anyway, you know that feeling you get when you are in the same room with crazy?  Where you get the instinctive feeling to run and you don’t know why?  I got that in spades when Busey was standing there.  Just be thankful there is a barrier between his rantings and you.  It’s important to observe him from a distance.    

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