Introducing Mandroid, Google's remasculating new operating system

Earlier today, Google co-founder Sergey Brin pointed out just how emasculating cellphones were. What self-respecting gentleman would be seen thumbing a flat piece of glass? Wearing Google Glass instead, however: now, that's manly! But what will power this new, insuperably masculine head-garment—and, indeed, rescue your cellphones and tablets from the muliebrous void? Introducing Mandroid, the new testosterone-fueled firmware for all your devices, preloaded with manly apps and issue 186 of Cerebus the Aardvark.

• Google Glass Will Make You Manly, Says Sergey Brin [Wired]

• Sergey Brin: Smartphones are 'emasculating' [CNET]

• Sergey Brin calls smartphones ‘emasculating’ — but dorky Google Glass A-OK [VentureBeat]

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http://twitter.com/NotSoNiceville Grant

Chris Hardwick, call your lawyer.
- http://twitter.com/fung Kyle
  
  Not so much. Actually if anyone owns the term I would say it is Marvel who featured Mandroid power suits built by Tony Stark in Avengers comics in the 70s
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Chris Hardwick? Or Carl Hardwick ?
fuzzyfuzzyfungus

What completely amazes me(though it isn’t nearly as amusing as the ‘emasculating’ notion, which is just strange) is that old Sergey’s though process, as expressed in public, apparently went something like this “Man, spending a lot of my time staring at my phone actually makes me kind of a socially isolated dickhead. I should attach a tiny screen in front of my eye so I can stare at my phone all the time!”
- JohnDoey
  
  Not just stare at it all the time, but you have to touch the side of the Google Glasses to scroll. So he is going to have to take one hand off his elephant gun from time to time, given that his other hand is holding a cigar.
  - fuzzyfuzzyfungus
    
    Only some kind of eunuch can’t hold a cigar and an elephant gun in the same hand. In fact, if it weren’t for 19th century cartridge technology, a real man would still fire his elephant gun by igniting the powder in the pan with his cigar.
    - Antinous / Moderator
      
      The Short, Happy Life of Sergey Brin
      - fuzzyfuzzyfungus
        
        Speaking of short life, I’m told that the version of “Google Latitude” for Mandroid is actually an augmented reality remake of ‘The Most Dangerous Game’…
      - Antinous / Moderator
        
        How about ‘The Desrick on Brin’?
Timothy Krause

The Cerebus bit was well done, nice low shot, there, ouch.
- http://anthonybailey.net/ Anthony Bailey
  
  +1. Mr Beschizza, I feel compelled to explicitly applaud your fine joke, in case you fear it is too obscure to be worthwhile. It may be somewhat obscure. It is still worthwhile. My laugh was out loud.
  - Finnagain
    
    ”Mothers and Daughters”. Interesting, and manly, choice!
- Miramon
  
  Cirinist! But yeah, that was a brilliant reference. Too bad he went insane; Sim could have been really great if he just managed to keep a marginal grip on reality. High Society had all the signs, but everything after that was just a sad chronicle of slow decay.
  - Snig
    
    Decades later, when I think of Elric with a Foghorn, I say Foghorn Leghorn dialect, it still cracks me up.
- http://mordicai.livejournal.com Mordicai
  
  Yeah. easily the best part of the joke.
http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki

Is it Bacon, Cigar or Scotch scented?
- http://twitter.com/jonhendry Jonathan W. Hendry
  
  “Musk”
  - Eric0142
    
    made from bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.
    - JohnDoey
      
      Organic panther. This is California.
- Doctor Device
  
  yes
- Stacy_C
  
  The cigar is dipped in bacon-flavored scotch, of course.
  - Philip Storry
    
    Bacon flavoured?
    
    The odds favour it being a Caol Ila then.
    
    Although a Glen Scotia, Bunnahabhain or Bruichladdich (especially in its Port Charlotte guise) wouldn’t surprise me there.
    
    Either way, you ruined a good cigar dripping it in such fine scotch.
    You should have lit it and smoke it whilst drinking them. Far more pleasant…
    
    But the really important thing here is…
    
    Mmmmmmmm…. Baaaaaaaaacon…. *drools*
- C W
  
  http://www.mandleco.com/
Nash Rambler

Comes with a gun-shaped stylus, so you can “shoot” instead of clicking.
- Brainspore
  
  That’s not the shape I was imagining.
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    ??
    - Brainspore
      
      Blue?? Now THAT’S emasculating.
      
      A Real Man™ doesn’t need a stylus anyway. That’s what your cock is for.
fuzzyfuzzyfungus

Goes well with a http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2009/02/05/pocket-shark-the-pen.html for the complete warrior lifestyle…
Brainspore

That’s perfect, because I like to use my tablet as an oversized belt buckle.
http://twitter.com/pishabh pishabh

Funny thing is, if you watch The Verge interview with the Google Glass team, the lead industrial designer is a woman!
- Andy Simmons
  
  …which is why the Glass examples that we’ve seen all attach to one’s face via the yonic “bridge” that straddles one’s nose, rather than piercing your skull with the phallic (and proud) brain probe that Sergey Brin wanted.
  - robojamie
    
    You should see Sergey’s Google Glass Headphallus edition: http://boingboing.net/2010/06/25/unicorn.html
    - Antinous / Moderator
      
      That’s an older model. The new one is much more masculine AND gets better reception!
- Stacy_C
  
  She’s a witch!
Zak Jarvis

I love you forever Rob, just for using the word muliebrity. The delicious parody is lagniappe.
- eldritch
  
  It was my understanding that the usage should be either “a lagniappe”, signifying a small extra gift, or “for lagniappe”, signifying the fulfillment of the custom of granting a lagniappe?
  
  But my understanding chiefly comes from Twain, so it may not be the modern usage, and I gladly defer to any current local usage around the gulf coast, although I’ve yet to hear someone actually speak the word in all my travels.
  - Zak Jarvis
    
    Your usage is the correct one. Looks like it hasn’t changed since Twain.
    
    I admit, I never use the word, nor have it used around me. Lagniappe, that is.
    
    Muliebrity is a different story.
  - Bradley Robinson
    
    Here in New Orleans, lagniappe is part of the everyday vernacular. Proper syntax and grammar; however, are not. So the above usage would be entirely acceptable. There is even a section of the newspaper simply called “Lagniappe”.
Hollando

so, if I already feel very manly, and I start using Mandroid, will the “Re”-masculation make me *doubly* masculine?
Like, Zardosz-level?
- Bradley Robinson
  
  It will probably have the opposite effect and you’ll grow boobs.
  
  Either way, it’s a win.
  - eldritch
    
    Forget those far-fetched “Gay Bombs” the military experimented with, Boob Bombs would be so much more effective. Just think! Countless men rendered useless, utterly distrcted by their newfound anatomy, slowly becoming dehydrated and rashy from unending self fondling!
    - Jonathan Roberts
      
      How is that different from the current situation?
- GawainLavers
  
  It is recommended that prior masculation be un-installed prior to re-masculation, as multiple masculations can create conflicts. Also, your old masculation probably thought that using a smartphone was okay, so you’re better off without it.
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    Twenty bucks says that the new masculation will use all your system resources and make it impossible to get anything done.
    - chaopoiesis
      
      Real men don’t use Maps.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=738678516 Katherine Falk

Hmmm. But what about their Google search engine itself? I propose a small logo/UI enhancement. http://feralchildinboston.tumblr.com/post/44166618158/via-cnet-speaking-at-the-ted-conference-today-in
- JohnDoey
  
  That is basically what it looked like in the 90′s.
http://twitter.com/amanicdroid Dr. Chronobiologist

MANDROID, SEND IN MY SECRETARY SO THAT I MAY COPULATE WITH HER
[burst of angry shouting]
MANDROID, SHOW MY SECRETARY THE NDA SHE SIGNED STIPULATING SHE CAN NOT REPORT SEXUAL HARASSMENT
Gerald Mander

Yeh buddy! Mandroid makes me wanna ogle titties through my hunting-rifle scope behind the wheel of my F350.
- IronEdithKidd
  
  Pfft. Real men drive the F450 supercharged diesel supercab with duallies, Yosemite Sam mudflaps and big-rig style exhaust.
SockRolid

Some day, Oakley will ship Google Glass-equipped shades worthy of Seal Team Six.
Until then, Google Glass users (male and female) will all be wimpy #Glassholes.
http://twitter.com/beaudotgiles Beau

No more emasculating 4″ iPhones. Real men use 6″ or larger Mandroid phones.
oneswellfoop

Pardon me. I’ve lost my phone, have you seen it? It smells of tobacco, leather, and rich mahogany.
http://twitter.com/doubletee Thomas Terashima

Not to be confused with the Astron-6 movie “Manborg”. http://manborg.com/
- http://twitter.com/writebastard Ian Wood
  
  Or the famous 1993 Robert Symonds tour de force…Mandroid.
  
  Which is much more likely.
  
  Given the identical names and all.
invisiblemonkey

Scumbag Sergey Brin: Releases mobile OS named after desserts and candy, later calls the device “emasculating.”
capnmarrrrk

I just installed Mandroid today. I can’t wait to play with it.
- http://twitter.com/writebastard Ian Wood
  
  I NEED AN ADULT
  - capnmarrrrk
    
    I’m sorry to have inflicted myself upon you. I had a literal flash of inspiration to make what I considered a “funny”. They can’t all be home runs, but you gotta keeps swinging for the fences. Also, that is a simulacrum and not a photo of my actual penis
- Gulliver
  
  ♫ And now I understand the multitouch touch screen…Oh-a-oh ♬
http://grumer.org/ Avram Grumer

Its maps app can discover new continents.
Its Twitter client never runs out of tokens.
Its Foursquare app declares you a God-Emperor.
It is … the Most Interesting Smartphone OS in the World.
Modano

You know what’s manly? Feeling cool about yourself while not really giving a shit what people think about what you’re wearing.
pjcamp

Manly men?

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/78/78rcowperthwaite.phtml

Sorry, video doesn’t seem to exist so a transcript will have to do. One of Belushi’s greatest.
Brian Cheung

Cerebus, really? That goes all the way from being confident in your masculinity to having underlying issues to justify your mysogyny.
http://www.facebook.com/pamsykes Pam Sykes

Burt Reynolds. Heh.
vintermann

There’s no need to get hysterical over the guy’s choice in words.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  I see what you did there.
Guido Núñez-Mujica

Partnership with Raging Stallion Studios, Titan Media and Colt is coming
- http://scavenger-ethic.blogspot.com/ scav
  
  Don’t forget PowerThirst!
- http://twitter.com/_spainter S
  
  And Cazzo Films!
mclovin

Finally released!!! And all this under 1500$ !!!