A toilet paper maker has apologized for Biblical quotes, including the words of Jesus, which it "inadvertently" included on novelty wipes marketed in Scandinavia. "Bible verses do not belong on a roll of toilet paper," said Bishop of Tunsberg Laila Riksaasen Dahl. [Globe and Mail]

29 Responses to “Biblical toilet rolls roil Scandinavia”

  1. Maybe the offending quote was from Genesis: “And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.”

  2. Pcoleman72 says:

    Christ. What an asshole.

  3. Pcoleman72 says:

    I’m scandalized that no one posted that before I did.

  4. nixiebunny says:

    So many ways to be offended. I’d be offended that they sullied my fine toilet paper with words from that book that is the root of so much hatred.

  5. peregrinus says:

    I’m sure there are plenty of buyers in the world!  These guys just generated the best publicity money can’t buy.

  6. Gwyneth Hannaford says:

    Wow best way to clean up your act I have ever heard of.

  7. LX says:

    Who in the world would want to wipe with toilet paper that already has shit on it?

  8. Mick Moore says:

    Honestly, you could make a killing marketing toilet paper with religious texts printed on it. Quran, Bible, whatever mentally oppressive team you’re on, now you can literally shit on the other guy’s God! Total hate capitalization, what’s more American?

  9. lknope says:

    I have an immature urge to T.P. that bishop’s house with some of that biblical verse-printed toilet paper.

  10. SomeGuyNamedMark says:

    *sigh* People can’t even poop now without needing it to make a statement.

    • miasm says:

      (Un(?))fortunately there already is an implicit statement of social contract in taking a shit, at least when using a toilet that’s plumbed into the public sewers.

  11. borkbork says:

    Finland is part of the Nordic Countries, but is not part of Scandinavia. The Scandinavian Countries include the Scandinavian Peninsula (Sweden and Norway) plus Denmark. 

    • Bodhipaksa says:

      True, but BoingBoing says the product was “marketed in Scandinavia” and the original article says that the paper was “sold in Norway, Denmark and Sweden.” So it doesn’t sound like either publication has said that Finland is part of Scandinavia.

  12. Toilet paper is the PERFECT vehicle for Bible verses.

    • beepbeep says:

       Eh, I rather like Bible verses. Gives one the fun, fun game of “Bible, Ben Franklin OR Shakespeare! (possibly Bacon; who knows anymore)” A couple that I cherish are from Mark 14 :51,52, which just totally perplex Biblical scholars who, in fact, used to hem and haw and mutter something about the boy MUST have been wearing underwear. Ah….yeah….
      Oh, and then there’s Proverbs 20:1 with “Wine is a mocker” and yet there’s that whole deal with producing wine out of thin air (well, water actually).
      And, and, and…well, a whole host (pun intended) of other things. Still. I respect the Bible for being ancient literature.
      Check out something called The Book of J, which purports to tease out one of the four main voices of the Old Testament (God knows {er, yes, intended again} it’s a mess) and present it as a narrative which might be the oldest known novel.
      Now, Atlas Shrugged on toilet paper? I’d buy that. Heck, it would be the economy size.

      • I’ve read The Book of J! One of my favourite books on texts of the Ancient World. I also have the complete Nag Hammadi manuscripts, the Gnostic Gospels, and the so-called “Lost” Books of the Bible. Despite my disdain for the Bible as a religious document, as a literary achievement and collection of Hebrew and Roman-Era Levantine cultural myths, it’s quite interesting.

        And I’d feel MUCH better wiping my bum with that than I would wiping it with anything spoiled by Ayn Rand’s ridiculous babble. My butthole would probably catch something nasty.

  13. schlocktober says:

    They’re just words, it’s just paper, you just took a shit. Wipe your ass and get on with your life.

  14. miasm says:

    That shit is badass. Now, when I shit, I can use the shit that’s got that shite on it to clean the shit off my shitter and, shit! Shit will be cool again.

  15. Ladyfingers says:

    What has the church been doing but wiping its arse with the words of Jesus for 2,000 years?

  16. vermindust says:

    “Please don’t do that.”  “Okay, sorry.”

    What, no pile of skulls?  No death sentence, fire bombing or scroll in fierce Latin condemning Metsa Tissue to the eternal fires?  No promise of seventy-two celestial whores for the warrior who kills the CEO? 

    Softies.

    • rocketpj says:

      Need a bit more economic dislocation before the crazy religious tribalism really takes hold.

      That said, there have been a couple thousand years of all of those things.  The past 75 years(ish) are the exception, not the rule.

  17. Daemonworks says:

    “Bible verses do not belong on a roll of toilet paper,”

    Wasn’t there one about turning the other cheek…

  18. Jacob Ewing says:

    “Bible verses do not belong on a roll of toilet paper,”

    Like hell they don’t.

  19. sockdoll says:

    Jesus wept. Then he wiped.

Leave a Reply