Comments on: Biblical toilet rolls roil Scandinavia

By: sockdoll

sockdoll — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:11:00 +0000

Jesus wept. Then he wiped.

By: Jacob Ewing

Jacob Ewing — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 03:15:00 +0000

“Bible verses do not belong on a roll of toilet paper,”

Like hell they don’t.

By: Derek C. F. Pegritz

Derek C. F. Pegritz — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 01:25:00 +0000

I’ve read The Book of J! One of my favourite books on texts of the Ancient World. I also have the complete Nag Hammadi manuscripts, the Gnostic Gospels, and the so-called “Lost” Books of the Bible. Despite my disdain for the Bible as a religious document, as a literary achievement and collection of Hebrew and Roman-Era Levantine cultural myths, it’s quite interesting.

And I’d feel MUCH better wiping my bum with that than I would wiping it with anything spoiled by Ayn Rand’s ridiculous babble. My butthole would probably catch something nasty.

By: beepbeep

beepbeep — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 00:55:00 +0000

Eh, I rather like Bible verses. Gives one the fun, fun game of “Bible, Ben Franklin OR Shakespeare! (possibly Bacon; who knows anymore)” A couple that I cherish are from Mark 14 :51,52, which just totally perplex Biblical scholars who, in fact, used to hem and haw and mutter something about the boy MUST have been wearing underwear. Ah….yeah….
Oh, and then there’s Proverbs 20:1 with “Wine is a mocker” and yet there’s that whole deal with producing wine out of thin air (well, water actually).
And, and, and…well, a whole host (pun intended) of other things. Still. I respect the Bible for being ancient literature.
Check out something called The Book of J, which purports to tease out one of the four main voices of the Old Testament (God knows {er, yes, intended again} it’s a mess) and present it as a narrative which might be the oldest known novel.
Now, Atlas Shrugged on toilet paper? I’d buy that. Heck, it would be the economy size.

By: Daemonworks

Daemonworks — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 00:05:00 +0000

“Bible verses do not belong on a roll of toilet paper,”

Wasn’t there one about turning the other cheek…

By: rocketpj

rocketpj — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 19:33:00 +0000

Need a bit more economic dislocation before the crazy religious tribalism really takes hold.

That said, there have been a couple thousand years of all of those things. The past 75 years(ish) are the exception, not the rule.

By: vermindust

vermindust — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 19:09:00 +0000

“Please don’t do that.” “Okay, sorry.”

What, no pile of skulls? No death sentence, fire bombing or scroll in fierce Latin condemning Metsa Tissue to the eternal fires? No promise of seventy-two celestial whores for the warrior who kills the CEO?

Softies.

By: Ladyfingers

Ladyfingers — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 18:56:00 +0000

What has the church been doing but wiping its arse with the words of Jesus for 2,000 years?

By: big ryan

big ryan — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 18:26:00 +0000

im a christian and i approve this statement

By: miasm

miasm — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 17:44:00 +0000

That shit is badass. Now, when I shit, I can use the shit that's got that shite on it to clean the shit off my shitter and, shit! Shit will be cool again.

By: The Life Of Bryan

The Life Of Bryan — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 17:41:00 +0000

I think from that vantage point there is already sufficient colon.

By: miasm

miasm — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 17:26:00 +0000

(Un(?))fortunately there already is an implicit statement of social contract in taking a shit, at least when using a toilet that’s plumbed into the public sewers.

By: pupdog

pupdog — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 17:13:00 +0000

How about an ellipsis? “Christ… What an asshole! :) “

By: schlocktober

schlocktober — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 17:09:00 +0000

They’re just words, it’s just paper, you just took a shit. Wipe your ass and get on with your life.

By: Petzl

Petzl — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 16:55:00 +0000

Bible slam

By: Bodhipaksa

Bodhipaksa — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 16:39:00 +0000

True, but BoingBoing says the product was “marketed in Scandinavia” and the original article says that the paper was “sold in Norway, Denmark and Sweden.” So it doesn’t sound like either publication has said that Finland is part of Scandinavia.

By: Derek C. F. Pegritz

Derek C. F. Pegritz — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 16:24:00 +0000

Toilet paper is the PERFECT vehicle for Bible verses.

By: borkbork

borkbork — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 16:02:00 +0000

Finland is part of the Nordic Countries, but is not part of Scandinavia. The Scandinavian Countries include the Scandinavian Peninsula (Sweden and Norway) plus Denmark.

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 15:42:00 +0000

*sigh* People can’t even poop now without needing it to make a statement.

By: lknope

lknope — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 15:26:00 +0000

I have an immature urge to T.P. that bishop’s house with some of that biblical verse-printed toilet paper.

By: Mick Moore

Mick Moore — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 15:24:00 +0000

Honestly, you could make a killing marketing toilet paper with religious texts printed on it. Quran, Bible, whatever mentally oppressive team you’re on, now you can literally shit on the other guy’s God! Total hate capitalization, what’s more American?

By: LX

LX — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 15:15:00 +0000

Who in the world would want to wipe with toilet paper that already has shit on it?

By: Gwyneth Hannaford

Gwyneth Hannaford — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 15:14:00 +0000

Wow best way to clean up your act I have ever heard of.

By: peregrinus

peregrinus — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 15:08:00 +0000

I’m sure there are plenty of buyers in the world! These guys just generated the best publicity money can’t buy.

By: invisiblemonkey

invisiblemonkey — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 15:01:00 +0000

Needs more colon: “Christ: ‘What an asshole.’”

By: nixiebunny

nixiebunny — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 14:59:00 +0000

So many ways to be offended. I’d be offended that they sullied my fine toilet paper with words from that book that is the root of so much hatred.

By: Pcoleman72

Pcoleman72 — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 14:57:00 +0000

I’m scandalized that no one posted that before I did.

By: Pcoleman72

Pcoleman72 — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 14:56:00 +0000

Christ. What an asshole.

By: tristan eldritch

tristan eldritch — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 14:53:00 +0000

Maybe the offending quote was from Genesis: “And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.”