A toilet paper maker has apologized for Biblical quotes, including the words of Jesus, which it "inadvertently" included on novelty wipes marketed in Scandinavia. "Bible verses do not belong on a roll of toilet paper," said Bishop of Tunsberg Laila Riksaasen Dahl. [Globe and Mail]

  • http://2012diaries.blogspot.com/ tristan eldritch

    Maybe the offending quote was from Genesis: “And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.”

  • Pcoleman72

    Christ. What an asshole.

  • Pcoleman72

    I’m scandalized that no one posted that before I did.

    • invisiblemonkey

      Needs more colon: “Christ: ‘What an asshole.’”

      • pupdog

        How about an ellipsis? “Christ… What an asshole! :) “

      • http://boingboing.net/ The Life Of Bryan

        I think from that vantage point there is already sufficient colon.

  • nixiebunny

    So many ways to be offended. I’d be offended that they sullied my fine toilet paper with words from that book that is the root of so much hatred.

  • peregrinus

    I’m sure there are plenty of buyers in the world!  These guys just generated the best publicity money can’t buy.

  • Gwyneth Hannaford

    Wow best way to clean up your act I have ever heard of.

  • LX

    Who in the world would want to wipe with toilet paper that already has shit on it?

    • Petzl

      Bible slam

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=584152955 Mick Moore

    Honestly, you could make a killing marketing toilet paper with religious texts printed on it. Quran, Bible, whatever mentally oppressive team you’re on, now you can literally shit on the other guy’s God! Total hate capitalization, what’s more American?

  • lknope

    I have an immature urge to T.P. that bishop’s house with some of that biblical verse-printed toilet paper.

  • SomeGuyNamedMark

    *sigh* People can’t even poop now without needing it to make a statement.

    • miasm

      (Un(?))fortunately there already is an implicit statement of social contract in taking a shit, at least when using a toilet that’s plumbed into the public sewers.

  • borkbork

    Finland is part of the Nordic Countries, but is not part of Scandinavia. The Scandinavian Countries include the Scandinavian Peninsula (Sweden and Norway) plus Denmark. 

    • Bodhipaksa

      True, but BoingBoing says the product was “marketed in Scandinavia” and the original article says that the paper was “sold in Norway, Denmark and Sweden.” So it doesn’t sound like either publication has said that Finland is part of Scandinavia.

  • http://www.pegritz.com Derek C. F. Pegritz

    Toilet paper is the PERFECT vehicle for Bible verses.

    • beepbeep

       Eh, I rather like Bible verses. Gives one the fun, fun game of “Bible, Ben Franklin OR Shakespeare! (possibly Bacon; who knows anymore)” A couple that I cherish are from Mark 14 :51,52, which just totally perplex Biblical scholars who, in fact, used to hem and haw and mutter something about the boy MUST have been wearing underwear. Ah….yeah….
      Oh, and then there’s Proverbs 20:1 with “Wine is a mocker” and yet there’s that whole deal with producing wine out of thin air (well, water actually).
      And, and, and…well, a whole host (pun intended) of other things. Still. I respect the Bible for being ancient literature.
      Check out something called The Book of J, which purports to tease out one of the four main voices of the Old Testament (God knows {er, yes, intended again} it’s a mess) and present it as a narrative which might be the oldest known novel.
      Now, Atlas Shrugged on toilet paper? I’d buy that. Heck, it would be the economy size.

      • http://www.pegritz.com Derek C. F. Pegritz

        I’ve read The Book of J! One of my favourite books on texts of the Ancient World. I also have the complete Nag Hammadi manuscripts, the Gnostic Gospels, and the so-called “Lost” Books of the Bible. Despite my disdain for the Bible as a religious document, as a literary achievement and collection of Hebrew and Roman-Era Levantine cultural myths, it’s quite interesting.

        And I’d feel MUCH better wiping my bum with that than I would wiping it with anything spoiled by Ayn Rand’s ridiculous babble. My butthole would probably catch something nasty.

  • schlocktober

    They’re just words, it’s just paper, you just took a shit. Wipe your ass and get on with your life.

    • big ryan

      im a christian and i approve this statement

  • miasm

    That shit is badass. Now, when I shit, I can use the shit that’s got that shite on it to clean the shit off my shitter and, shit! Shit will be cool again.

  • http://theladyfingers.blogspot.com/ Ladyfingers

    What has the church been doing but wiping its arse with the words of Jesus for 2,000 years?

  • http://twitter.com/vermindust vermindust

    “Please don’t do that.”  “Okay, sorry.”

    What, no pile of skulls?  No death sentence, fire bombing or scroll in fierce Latin condemning Metsa Tissue to the eternal fires?  No promise of seventy-two celestial whores for the warrior who kills the CEO? 

    Softies.

    • rocketpj

      Need a bit more economic dislocation before the crazy religious tribalism really takes hold.

      That said, there have been a couple thousand years of all of those things.  The past 75 years(ish) are the exception, not the rule.

  • Daemonworks

    “Bible verses do not belong on a roll of toilet paper,”

    Wasn’t there one about turning the other cheek…

  • http://weirdly.net Jacob Ewing

    “Bible verses do not belong on a roll of toilet paper,”

    Like hell they don’t.

  • sockdoll

    Jesus wept. Then he wiped.