Hooves

Etsy seller Oonacat makes custom fetish boots with hooves -- demon hooves, unicorn hooves -- that go for $900 a pair. Great for playing naughty podiatrist and agonized fetishist. There are also horns.

These are my newest creations, and I adore these little monsters. These Hooves are created with durability, quality, and artistic kickass beauty in their design. High attention to detail is what I love most about my Hooves, be it in the intensive process and creation, to the construction process, to the high quality of the materials I use, to the professional construction of the Hooves themselves, to the hoof tracks you will leave for those to follow... And follow they will...

Oonacat ~ Heelless Hooves and Horns (via Geeks Are Sexy)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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Diogenes

I wish I could un-see and un-read this post.
http://www.fieldsovgravity.com/ Garymon

Just forward the link to my wife. Possibly the most expensive email I have ever sent.
UnderachievingSheep

I live in Europe. I’d complete the attire by just wearing two oversized burger buns.
space boy

Tori Amos had hooves boots back in 91 for her SATY video
- 10xor01
  
  And ruby slippers when she performed in Boulder in 92.
- http://artdonovan.typepad.com Art
  
  My friend, Robert, had boots with actual cloven hoof toes in 1977. He was an “artist”.
nixiebunny

It took me a minute to realize that they’re regular high-heel boots with the heels cut off and the hooves added.
- orangedesperado
  
  Those definitely look like the cheap-o exotic dancer/fetish boots that are produced by the gazillion in China. Yes, the seller has removed the heels and added some hoof things (instructions for this are on the internet, folks !). The $ 900.00 price would be worth it IF the seller actually made the boot. I mean plastic zippers and faux leather fer cryin out loud…
  - C W
    
    Yeah, they sell those on eBay for ~70-90 bucks (probably elsewhere cheaper), the Etsy artist has just added a bit of modeling clay. I find the actual fetish boots better looking.
    
    “with the heels cut off”
    
    They didn’t even cut the heels off, this is the way it comes from ye olde goth shoppe.
  - UnderachievingSheep
    
    I’m not sure I am reading this correctly (actually, I want to think I am misinterpreting here), but in the product description for the demon hooves, it states the “shoe” is not even included.
    
    The price for my Epic Hoof Line is $900 (limited time), and is for the hoof materials only. You supply the shoe upper and shipping it to me.
    
    So yeah, it looks like you might have to procure your own cheap boots as well.
    - orangedesperado
      
      I have some Fimo right here – everyone, send me your boots and $ 800.00 ! It’s a spectacular savings !
      - UnderachievingSheep
        
        Do you accept bartering? I can pay you with a lot consisting of 8 Instagrams of my cats. Very artistically rendered and only using the best quality filters.
      - orangedesperado
        
        Are these artistic nudes of your cats ? Because if they are not, I am not interested. However, I am looking for a functional calliope or a mongrammed monocle for my astigmatic left eye.
      - jackie31337
        
        Hey now, we don’t take kindly to kitty porn around here.
    - C W
      
      This is even funnier. Come on now, surely she can place the eBay order herself for that much. I mean, I appreciate that she’s doing something different, but eesh. Demanding others buy the boots for her is just going to create competition when someone else decides to sell the finished product, ~much~ cheaper.
SomeGuyNamedMark

The devil wears Prada?
orwell

if the boot doesn’t convince them you’re a donkey, the price tag sure will…
http://twitter.com/IGB01 Ismale Gorbachev

So when someone breaks a leg in one of these, do they have to shoot them?
- CLamb
  
  They don’t have to but will probably do so anyway.
ldobe

All I can add is that they look immensely painful to walk in, and I’d assume they’d be impossible to keep from falling over in. I can feel my calves cramping just looking at them.
- nixiebunny
  
  I do believe that this is the entire point of wearing these items.
silkox

Dumb question: how would these be deployed in sexual activity? Purchase?
- UnderachievingSheep
  
  *cough*pony play *cough*
  
  (That’d be one of the ways, not the only one, of course)
bobby

Well, two things are for certain:
1) That seller is into some freaky $hit (no judgements from me – do what you want)
2) There is a market for anything (especially freaky $hit)
- C W
  
  “two things are for certain:
  
  1) That seller is into some freaky $hit”
  
  Because they own the boots, or are there some other items they’re selling that make you think that?
  
  The freakiest shit they’re into might just be Cosplay.
  - bobby
    
    I’m probably projecting but you don’t think Cosplay has a sexual element for a lot of participants?
blueelm

OMG no. I mean actually I like the idea because I’m crazy and I like ridiculous clothing, but you can get a pair of boots that actually are well made and balance without a heel for much much less than 900. Hell, you can just buy a pair of Jeffery Campbell’s that are 3/4 of the way there already. They are far below 900. To my thought if you want the hoof look dressing up a pair of shoes that cost 100 is a lot better than standing only on tiptoe in a pair of sawed off (check out those zippers) cheap boots you paid 900 for.

http://images2.chictopia.com/photos/NigelNarcissa/5066785680/night-lita-jeffrey-campbell-shoes-topman-aaa-blazer-winged-collar-zara-shirt_400.jpg

Or if you are already in the thousand dollar shoe market, at least make them nice:

http://www.farfetch.com/shopping/women/designer-giuseppe-zanotti-design-sculpted-wedge-thigh-high-boot-item-10246147.aspx
- UnderachievingSheep
  
  Those are Jeffrey Campbell’s Nightwalkers (and not the Litas, as the image name implies; the Litas have a sturdy heel). I saw them (the ones in the photo) for sale a couple of months ago for around 150 euros. In fairness, I tried them on and they were a pain to walk in (I live in a city with plenty of cobblestone, so no…). If one is willing to go the Chinese knock off route, they can be had for around 50 or so on ebay. Which is to say, you are right, 900 bucks can get you tailor made shoes.
  - C W
    
    You can also get similar Fluevog ballet heel/hooves for ~$300.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=8834925 Chauncey Scott

To these, I say neigh.
.

I am Torgo. I take care of the place while the Master is away.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Torgo was hot.
  - C W
    
    You excited for the Blu-Ray release? I sure am.
peregrinus

I am so totally getting a pair and strutting my stuff in Tesco. But no way am I going to Paris in ‘em: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21324523
Kenmrph

It hurts just looking at these. But I suppose that’s the point?
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  I’d rather walk in a pair of fetish boots than a pair of cheap WalMart shoes.
  - orangedesperado
    
    But what if they were made by the same factory ?
    - C W
      
      The cheap Chinese pvc knockoffs, maybe.
http://celesteagnes.blogspot.com/ Sekino

These kind of hooves are great for costuming because they’re much simpler to make than digitigrade stilts. They also require less practice, especially for people who are used to wearing high-heels. They are not much more uncomfortable or tricky than regular platform heels.

That said, I’m glad I can make them myself because it costs me less than $100… Hmmmm, maybe I’m in the wrong business…
Ethan Taliesin Houser

Calf fatigue.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Charlie horse.
jackie31337

Well that gives new meaning to “unicorn chaser”.
captain_cthulhu

…and podiatrists everywhere rejoiced!