A few excerpts from Harry Stanley's 1945 book The Gag Bag, which features suggested patter for would-be magicians:
Of course, I never dare let my people know I was a magician. It would shock them. They think I'm still in prison.
I used to be a wallflower, until I took up magic. Now everybody asks me out. The other night at a show, I had only done one trick, and I was asked out.
There are only two kinds of conjurer you can't trust – the ones with moustaches and the clean-shaven ones.
He is a magician. His brother doesn't work either.
[Spoonerist patter] – 'my next disaster piece' (masterpiece) 'my next misery' (mystery) 'I will now utter the tragic words' (magic words.)
Public house catches fire... 50 magicians homeless.
Will someone call out any number between 16 and 60? Thank you I only wanted to find out if anyone was still awake.
The bowling ball! The melting chocolate bunny! Well done, Dissolve.
I don’t think Stewart’s ever been in finer form, and his “I’ve been living in a cave”/Transmet schtick plays well with Colbert’s own persona.
I’m loving it. McDonald’s New Zealand created a site for people to “build your own unique burger” and name their creations. Problem is, the submissions appeared on the site without moderation.
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