Pastor Davis uses grocer's apostrophe in booklet title

Pastor Davis may know a lot about perverted, distorted sex, but he doesn't know that "it's" is a contraction for "it is" (or "it has").

(Via this isn't happiness)

• [Roose_Bolton]

  Distorted sex = not having my contacts in.

  • [Aaron Gilliland]

    It’s upsetting when you can’t tell if they’re in or not.

  • [euansmith]

     Distorted? Is it supposed to be that shape?

• [Incipient Madness]

  Some people seem to think the apostrophe means “Watch out, an “s” is coming up.” I heard some stand up comedian say that once. Google can’t help me find him. 

• [TerribleNews]

  “but he doesn’t know that “it’s” is a contraction for “it is” (or “it has”).”
  Maybe he does and you have to read the book to find out what Perverted Distorted Sex causes and cures…

• [Snig]

  A worthy cause and recent research suggests may cure migraines.  If distortion occurrs, get your wall and ceiling mirrors cleaned. 

• [ChickieD]

  Seems like he used it just fine. “Perverted, Distorted Sex – it is cause and cure!”

  • [Brainspore]

    It sure saved MY marriage.

• [Brainspore]

  The apostrophe is possessive. The pastor is referring to the antagonist from that Stephen King novel.

  • [Aaron Gilliland]

    We all float down here, Pastor.

  • [DewiMorgan]

    I was all ready to correct, but… that actually works, I think, so long as “It” is a proper noun.

• [flappy]

  Hate to correct you but of course you mean “grocer’s apostrophe’s”.

• [Stefan Jones]

  I am going to put on my pedantic twit hat.

  The grocer’s apostrophe is used to “pluralize” something.

  FRESH MELON’S
  ALL CANNED SOUP’S 50 CENTS

  Pastor Davis, he’s just wrong.

  • [flappy]

    is ” melon’s ” more plural than ” melons “?

  • [Aaron Gilliland]

    MC Fresh Melon’s in the can, 50 Cent’s in the soup.  Does anyone speak jive?

• [Christopher]

  A small grammatical error isn’t a reason to dismiss Pastor Davis’s views on the subject of perverted, distorted sex. I think a cursory examination of his views will provide more than enough reason to dismiss them. 

  • [Lucy Gothro]

     So where can we find this?

    • [Brainspore]

      Just google “perverted sex” and “adults only.” I’m sure it will be one of the first results to come up.

    • [Christopher]

      Check with the largest local academic library or university with a large gender studies department. Inquiries may also be made of the Kinsey Institute. Or there’s a Hustler Store on the corner of Church Street and 14th Avenue North.

    • [gibson5string]

      Yes….where can we find this?  I would like to read this entire work to……search for additional grammatical errors……yeah….let’s (let us) go with that…..

  • [Aaron Gilliland]

    “Examining your cursor” is listed as a cause.

• [Navin_Johnson]

  Does this come with the old time rectum massaging contraption that’s strictly for medical problems……?

  • [oasisob1]

    I’ll let you know in 5-7 business days.

    • [Aaron Gilliland]

      Are you brown-bagging it for lunch all next week?

• [theophrastvs]

  ..always wanted to know when/who came up with the apostrophe after the ‘s’ for plural possessive; trolls’ cave, instead of say “trolls’s” (pronounced the same but more obvious lexicotypoorthographically)

  • [Brainspore]

    Those extra s’ aren’t free, you know.

  • [Christopher]

    Here’s an even odder rule that a high school English teacher of mine once stated: If a personal name ends in an ‘s’ and is only one syllable to make it possessive an apostrophe followed by an ‘s’ should be used to make it possessive (i.e. “Chris’s”). If the name is more than one syllable only an apostrophe should be used (i.e. “Iris’”).

    I’m not sure where he got that rule, though. 

    • [Aaron Gilliland]

      Your affectionate uncle
                                                                       SCREWTAPE

    • [Antinous / Moderator]

      It’s always ‘s rather than ‘, unless you’re talking about making a possessive of a plural.
      Iris’s irises’ color was very pretty.

• [Rob Deters]

  Perverted Sex is like alcohol…the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUVwR0rw5fk

• [chgoliz]

  Grocers’ apostrophe

  Otherwise, the thread’s headline is referring to the apostrophe usage of a particular grocer.

  And I’m with ChickieD: sex…it IS cause and cure for just about anything.

• [Cowicide]

  FIXED:  http://i.imgur.com/fdGlf3f.jpg

  • [retepslluerb]

    You forgot to strip for adults only.

• [peregrinus]

  Is this guy running for pope now?  He seems to have all the qualification’s.

• [Jen Onymous]

  Maybe bad grammar is his personal form of distorted sex.

  “oooh, baby, more improperly-placed adverbs, PLEASE!”

  • [IronEdithKidd]

    “Lemme see your dangling participle!”

• [Matthew Holloway]

  If incorrect apostrophe use doesn’t bother Stephen Fry, it doesn’t bother me.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRgs3yp9bbg

  • [Felton / Moderator]

    Hell, it didn’t even get a rant out of David Mitchell.  Or maybe he was still recovering from a previous rant.

  • [echolocate chocolate]

    Is that… a video capture of a video player…?

• [Preston Sturges]

  Since the ’60s, the pastor has had 40 years’ experience with punctuation. 

• [gumbowing]

  Dang! How can they just scan the cover of a pamphlet like this? That’s just wrong! Now I need to find it and read the rest!

• [Egypt Urnash]

  He’s making a joke, based on observation of patterns in incorrect apostrophe usage.

• [scav]

  NO. This is a case where if enough people do it, then there are a lot of fuckwits about.