Salt Lake Tribune reports: "Mars peopled by one vast thinking vegetable!"


44 Responses to “Salt Lake Tribune reports: "Mars peopled by one vast thinking vegetable!"”

  1. PhosPhorious says:

    “Peopled by vegetables.”

    The awesomest thing ever said.

  2. atteSmythe says:

    And that wasn’t written by Isaac Asimov – amazing!

  3. And here I was thinking Episode 23, Season 3 of “Lost In Space” was a bad idea.

    • Christopher says:

      As an avid “Lost In Space” addict as a kid I’m astounded that I don’t think I ever saw that episode, but reading the description of it in Wikipedia…what part of that episode wasn’t an amazingly hilarious good idea? The Robot’s birthday? A purple-haired botanist? Doctor Smith turned into celery?

      Oh the pain, the pain of it all..

      • Donald Petersen says:

        Coincidentally enough, that’s about the only episode I remember seeing.  Smith moaning, “Moisture!” over and over again.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      The Great Vegetable Rebellion was LIS’s apotheosis.

  4. Stefan Jones says:

    That is very Stapledonian.

  5. oasisob1 says:

    “The Tribune followed up this story on the very next page with one on how the English aristocracy was turning into gorillas.”And isn’t it funny so many years later, that we discover both stories were true?!

  6. Snig says:

    Someone left an “e” out of  “neighboring planet” and they just ran with the story.  Punched it up a bit.    

  7. Bottle Imp says:

    Immediately thought of Le Guin’s “Vaster than Empires and More Slow.”

  8. oasisob1 says:

    No hi-res scan to read through. :-(

  9. Well, one out of two ain’t bad…

  10. SummerFang says:

    This issue of the Trib could have been from last week.

  11. orwell says:

    “american political system peopled by one vast vegetable” (sadly, not a “thinking,” vegetable)

  12. secretdoubleagent says:

    So long as they give this equal time, alongside so-called “lifeless red planet”  theories in the classroom, I will be satisfied.

  13. Finnagain says:

     Teach the controversy!

  14. Bradley Robinson says:

    I find this to be more plausible than creationism.  At least there’s that.

  15. Xof says:

    No wonder newspapers are failing; they aren’t running real journalism like this anymore. I’d pay for a print subscription to this fine publication.

  16. Vegetables confirmed to be ghosts of deceased mormon men and their wives. Mars deigned Celestial Realm!

  17. billstewart says:

    … torn between commenting about how mushrooms are just the visible part of a much larger underground body vs. breaking into a chorus of “Mean Green Mother From Outer Space!” …

  18. Finnagain says:

    I recommend reading the article in Richard Burton’s voice. 

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      Oh no. No, you mustn’t. Mars is changing, and Mars is not changing for me, Mars hasn’t changed for me in years. If Mars is changing, that means we’re going to be here for days.

  19. Donald Petersen says:

    When the order for that particular “artist’s conception” filtered down to the Art Department, I imagine the resulting joyous whoop could be heard clear down by the presses.  Looks like someone had themselves an uncommonly good time.

  20. Sirkowski says:

    Does that mean the angel Moroni came from Mars?

  21. Jake0748 says:

     “Mars peopled by one vast thinking vegetable!”

      – What do vegetables think about? 

  22. Gilbert Wham says:

    Fuck the story, that letter ‘g’ is gorgeous.

  23. annoyingmouse says:

    Eyeball creatures, vegetable people and ape transformation are quite genuinely the plots to three different episodes of the tv series Garth Marenghi’s Dark Place.

  24. pjcamp says:

    Giant celery with an eyeball on top — about the most whackadoodle newspaper illustration I’ve ever seen.

  25. Daemonworks says:

    Sounds more like corporate America.

  26. David Hemming says:

    Oddly, I am currently reading Iain M Banks’s “Against a Dark Background” and the protagonists are on a planet covered by a single giant vegetable. Synchronicity!

  27. planettom says:

    “I for one welcome our new giant-eyeball-atop-a-celery-stalk-space-elevator overlord.”

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