Salt Lake Tribune reports: "Mars peopled by one vast thinking vegetable!"

"The Tribune followed up this story on the very next page with one on how the English aristocracy was turning into gorillas."

Mars peopled by one vast thinking vegetable!

Mark Frauenfelder is the founder of Boing Boing and the editor-in-chief of MAKE and Cool Tools. Twitter: @frauenfelder. Come and hear Mark speak at the ALA conference in Chicago on July 1.

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PhosPhorious

“Peopled by vegetables.”

The awesomest thing ever said.
- Brainspore
  
  I bet at one time there was a tabloid on Mars proclaiming that Earth was vegetated by people.
- http://twitter.com/amanicdroid Dr. Chronobiologist
  
  They started out as people and then a horrific bacteria came along..
  http://boingboing.net/2012/06/15/tarantula-with-strange-antler.html
atteSmythe

And that wasn’t written by Isaac Asimov – amazing!
http://twitter.com/VagabondAstro Robert Little

And here I was thinking Episode 23, Season 3 of “Lost In Space” was a bad idea.
- http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher
  
  As an avid “Lost In Space” addict as a kid I’m astounded that I don’t think I ever saw that episode, but reading the description of it in Wikipedia…what part of that episode wasn’t an amazingly hilarious good idea? The Robot’s birthday? A purple-haired botanist? Doctor Smith turned into celery?
  
  Oh the pain, the pain of it all..
  - Donald Petersen
    
    Coincidentally enough, that’s about the only episode I remember seeing. Smith moaning, “Moisture!” over and over again.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  The Great Vegetable Rebellion was LIS’s apotheosis.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/stefan_e_jones/ Stefan Jones

That is very Stapledonian.
oasisob1

“The Tribune followed up this story on the very next page with one on how the English aristocracy was turning into gorillas.”And isn’t it funny so many years later, that we discover both stories were true?!
- Brainspore
  
  The kitchen staff had better put the silver back if they don’t want to deal with the silverback.
  - PhosPhorious
    
    The second awesomest thin g ever said.
- Boundegar
  
  Wait, I thought they were reptiles?
  - http://profiles.google.com/marc.k.mielke Marc Mielke
    
    Reptilian gorillas.
    (I looked, and am very surprised and disappointed D&D has no reptilian gorillas. What? A friggin OWL-BEAR is a viable critter and this isn’t?)
    - Antinous / Moderator
      
      Reptilian gorillas.
      
      Isn’t that one of the Denarians?
- http://profiles.google.com/marc.k.mielke Marc Mielke
  
  And they didn’t post the gorilla one? I wanna see the gorilla one!
Snig

Someone left an “e” out of ”neighboring planet” and they just ran with the story. Punched it up a bit.
- http://twitter.com/arensb arensb
  
  Are you saying that Mars is a nigh-boring planet?
Bottle Imp

Immediately thought of Le Guin’s “Vaster than Empires and More Slow.”
oasisob1

No hi-res scan to read through. :-(
- planettom
  
  Here’s the hi-res scan:
  http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045396/1912-10-13/ed-1/seq-31/
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000377495501 Charles Campbell

Well, one out of two ain’t bad…
SummerFang

This issue of the Trib could have been from last week.
orwell

“american political system peopled by one vast vegetable” (sadly, not a “thinking,” vegetable)
secretdoubleagent

So long as they give this equal time, alongside so-called “lifeless red planet” theories in the classroom, I will be satisfied.
Finnagain

Teach the controversy!
Bradley Robinson

I find this to be more plausible than creationism. At least there’s that.
Xof

No wonder newspapers are failing; they aren’t running real journalism like this anymore. I’d pay for a print subscription to this fine publication.
- http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher
  
  Yes, journalism has been going downhill ever since the Weekly World News stopped publication.
http://twitter.com/pickledbeatnik pickledbeatnik

Vegetables confirmed to be ghosts of deceased mormon men and their wives. Mars deigned Celestial Realm!
billstewart

… torn between commenting about how mushrooms are just the visible part of a much larger underground body vs. breaking into a chorus of “Mean Green Mother From Outer Space!” …
Finnagain

I recommend reading the article in Richard Burton’s voice.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Oh no. No, you mustn’t. Mars is changing, and Mars is not changing for me, Mars hasn’t changed for me in years. If Mars is changing, that means we’re going to be here for days.
Donald Petersen

When the order for that particular “artist’s conception” filtered down to the Art Department, I imagine the resulting joyous whoop could be heard clear down by the presses. Looks like someone had themselves an uncommonly good time.
http://twitter.com/sirkowski Sirkowski

Does that mean the angel Moroni came from Mars?
Jake0748

”Mars peopled by one vast thinking vegetable!”

– What do vegetables think about?
- planettom
  
  The Thing From Another World wanted to conquer Earth.
  I’d wager this planet-wide vegetable is casting its baleful gaze in a similar direction.
  - smut clyde
    
    Clark Ashton Smith — “Seedling of Mars”.
Gilbert Wham

Fuck the story, that letter ‘g’ is gorgeous.
annoyingmouse

Eyeball creatures, vegetable people and ape transformation are quite genuinely the plots to three different episodes of the tv series Garth Marenghi’s Dark Place.
pjcamp

Giant celery with an eyeball on top — about the most whackadoodle newspaper illustration I’ve ever seen.
Daemonworks

Sounds more like corporate America.
David Hemming

Oddly, I am currently reading Iain M Banks’s “Against a Dark Background” and the protagonists are on a planet covered by a single giant vegetable. Synchronicity!
planettom

“I for one welcome our new giant-eyeball-atop-a-celery-stalk-space-elevator overlord.”