Comments on: Sloppy statistics: Do 50% of Americans really think married women should be legally obligated to change their names?

By: Dread Pirate Khan

Dread Pirate Khan — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 08:37:00 +0000

That was amazing. *slow clap*

By: Girard

Girard — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 04:21:00 +0000

Obviously the most efficient solution is for all involved parties and resulting children to adopt a nice portmanteau name. It has the egalitarian and same-name-as-kid pluses of hyphenation, with the brevity of keeping/changing one’s name. You could be Ms. and Mr. Koeker or Ms. and Mr. Baerth…

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 20:55:00 +0000

the stuff that says that your opinion on taking names seems to have everything to do with culture and next to nothing to do with your actual opinion about women

Are you actually suggesting that opinions about the value and role of women aren’t ingrained in culture?

By: l337n00b

l337n00b — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 16:41:00 +0000

I find this an handy way to identify telemarketers. Hello, am I speaking to Mr. Wifesname?

By: l337n00b

l337n00b — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 16:37:00 +0000

I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say it makes me ill, but honestly whenever I hear a woman took her husbands name I have to do a double take. It’s completely baffling to me. The research linking in this article (the stuff that says that your opinion on taking names seems to have everything to do with culture and next to nothing to do with your actual opinion about women) actually really helps me make sense of it.

By: l337n00b

l337n00b — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 15:05:00 +0000

I actually know a couple who both took a different name when they got married.

By: l337n00b

l337n00b — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 15:03:00 +0000

There is also the question of whether the campaign would be meaningful. The point of the campaign is to present to women that it doesn’t make them a bad mother to use formula as opposed to breastfeeding. As breastfeeding is rarely an option for men, they are sort of stuck with the formula option anyway, no need to waste advertising dollars convincing us.

By: l337n00b

l337n00b — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 15:00:00 +0000

The boyfriend-who-came-along-later thing is exactly why my wife wanted our daughter to have my name rather than hers. I think I would have preferred giving her my wife’s name, but it wasn’t a terribly strong preference, so it ended up being my name.

By: teapot

teapot — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 05:34:00 +0000

Apparently about 1/3 of Americans are fools who like wasting their money and hate tasty food, so... there's that...

By: Dank Nuggington

Dank Nuggington — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 23:25:00 +0000

This is good to know.

By: Sally Amanda

Sally Amanda — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 20:36:00 +0000

Names and name changes are a really important thing in my industry, as your entire past portfolio is linked to your name, and you can’t retroactively change credits. It was a big discussion between my husband and I, in fact, as we work in the same industry and he was aware I’d lose over a dozen years worth of portfolio if I changed my name to his. I couldn’t hyphenate either, as the resulting name sounded like “Mrs. Reddish-Brown”. So I kept my name for career reasons, and had his full support and encouragement because he didn’t want to be Mr. Reddish-Brown either.

By: Kristy

Kristy — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 20:31:00 +0000

I will admit that I changed my last name to my husbands for aesthetic reasons. My maiden name, while common, was often pronounced incorrectly (sounds like a part of the male anatomy). If I had my mother’s maiden name I probably wouldn’t have bothered changing it. But in a concession to my family I did have my name hyphenated on my degree when I graduated from college.

By: J.R. LeMar

J.R. LeMar — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 18:16:00 +0000

Yes, I changed my name via the DMV in California 20 years ago. Mine was strictly for personal reasons, as I had disowned my father and no longer wanted his last name, so I just made up “LeMar” because it sounded good to me. @ the time I had just turned 18, didn’t even have a drivers license, just regular California ID under my birth name, and I just went to the DMV to get a new one, told the new name I wanted, and that was that. And then I used that name to open a bank account, apply for credit cards, etc. It was very simple then.

By: korhal

korhal — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 17:46:00 +0000

Actually, you’re only tossing half your name, not the whole thing. And really, it’s still there in public record – just follow the paper trail.

That being said, it should be up to the woman (or man) to choose whether or not to keep their last name. No way should it be mandatory.

By: korhal

korhal — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 17:44:00 +0000

My wife still has her own last name. She can change it if she wants to, but it really doesn’t bother me what her last name is – I’m still married to the same person.

By: yosemite

yosemite — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 17:17:00 +0000

Didn’t want to? Then why would she change hers? Wouldn’t this come up in normal rational conversation?

By: yosemite

yosemite — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 17:16:00 +0000

Why didn’t you hyphenate your name, or take her name, instead of having her do it?

By: yosemite

yosemite — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 17:13:00 +0000

How was your husband changing his name expensive? My wife and I were married in Minnesota, and both merged our respective last names into a hyphenated version. It was no more expensive (or difficult) for me than it was for her.

By: GrrrlRomeo

GrrrlRomeo — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 07:31:00 +0000

My last name isn’t my identity. My last name is just my father’s last name, and I’m not very close to that side of my family. When I marry my wife, I plan to take her last name because she was closer to her father. I just want us to have the same last name. But honestly, if I could, I’d pick my mother’s maiden name.

By: Dlo Burns

Dlo Burns — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 03:59:00 +0000

Yeah, that looks like a Greek word.

By: cicatricella

cicatricella — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 00:34:00 +0000

fun fact: in many parts of Canada the German “oe” gets anglicised to “ay”(or “eh”?) So if someone mistakenly calls you “Miz Kayrth” odds are they’re Canadian.

By: bcsizemo

bcsizemo — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 23:54:00 +0000

Why didn’t you change your name, then?

Because I didn’t want to?

Or why didn’t you both change your names to something entirely new to represent your union?

Well honestly never thought of that. Like I said before I told her it didn’t matter to me if she changed hers or not.

The issue here isn’t the fact my wife decided to take my last name. It is the fact that taking the husbands last name is a social norm that obvious some people find offensive/absurd. Frankly like many things in life it really isn’t anyone’s concern except the couple getting married.

Perhaps we can advance to a point of a gender neutral/less society where all new member are “birthed” through cloning. And while we are at it, we can just eliminate emotions and everyone can live a nice life where everything and everyone is equal.

By: Mobii Art Tees

Mobii Art Tees — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 23:36:00 +0000

It’s her name, she can decide. I wanted to be a part of my wife’s life, not delete who she was, or what she’s accomplished. I can’t believe that some people actually think they have the right to tell someone who they can be.

By: Maggie Koerth-Baker

Maggie Koerth-Baker — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 23:35:00 +0000

You would have been correct about 170 years ago. For some reason, my ancestors felt that the umlaut made them too awesome and they got rid of it. Now, it’s a much more Americanized pronunciation: KERTH.

By: Maggie Koerth-Baker

Maggie Koerth-Baker — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 23:33:00 +0000

It’s pronounced “KERTH”. The “o” is silent.

I once made a domain name that was “theoissilent”, thinking it would be helpful. Instead, my smart-ass friends started calling me Silent Theo.

By: Alice V

Alice V — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 23:20:00 +0000

In Texas, a divorce allows a name change.

By: Alice V

Alice V — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 23:17:00 +0000

I beileve that if men wish a name change, marriage is the way to do it but not cheaply. ;). A recent court challenge went in favor of equality in name change on marriage.

By: Alice V

Alice V — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 23:12:00 +0000

But you perform the most important of functions–and the least rewarding. Soldier on knowing there are legions of us.

By: Alice V

Alice V — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 23:06:00 +0000

And that is truly the point. What’s so great about matchy-matchy? We live in times that embrace many types of family with the blended one being very common and normal. Society has not collapsed.

By: Alice V

Alice V — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 22:55:00 +0000

I like the thought and hope it will work. I am, though, concerned whether substituting one goat for another will fix things.