Venezuela's acting President Nicolas Maduro: "We know that our commander ascended to the heights and is face-to-face with Christ. Something influenced the choice of a South American pope, someone new arrived at Christ's side and said to him: 'Well, it seems to us South America's time has come.'" [Reuters]

  • peregrinus

    Sounds like something Jimmy Saville would say.  “OK – are you ready, pope pickers??!”

  • http://www.nathanhornby.com/ Nathan Hornby

    Makes as much sense as the rest of the Catholic faith.

  • millie fink

    I wonder how tongue-in-cheek his comment may have been. Chavez’s comment, for instance, that he smelled sulfur and that the devil must’ve just been there when he spoke at the UN after Bush, was certainly said in jest. Serious jest, but jest nonetheless.

    Aside from that, it’s good to hear Maduro reaffirm an interest in regional solidarity, given the general drift in the last decade or so of that solidarity.

    • http://www.ecoevolution.org/ Ian G

      Yeah, humor.
      I can hear the stampede of “the Chavez Gang is CRAZY!” posters thundering their way into the comment sections of websites everywhere right this moment.

      • millie fink

        Yep. In fact, see below. Sigh.

    • http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki

       and how do you know for sure that Bush didn’t let out a huge fart before leaving the podium?

      • millie fink

        If he did, Chavez sure did a great job of making the best of it!

  • Pcoleman72

    Maduro sounds more unhinged than Chavez…and that’s saying something.

  • fuzzyfuzzyfungus

    Apparently neither Chavez nor Maduro are worrying themselves overmuch about the allegedly… cushy… relationship of the new pope with the good old days of the Argentine Dirty War?

    • Navin_Johnson

      Nor the MSM for that matter. Oddly the propaganda merchants find themselves on Venezuela’s side this time.

    • millie fink

      I know some of his followers attribute Chavez with superpowers, but I doubt he’s worrying himself about much of anything now while moldering away in a grave.

  • Chris Hogan

    # When Hugo Chavez travelled through time to the year 3010,
    He fought the evil yanqui kings and saved us all again
    And when Hugo Chavez built the pyramids, he beat up Kublai Khan.
    Cos the Commandante doesn’t take sh!t from Aaaaaneeeeybody #

    (this seems to be how acting President Nicolas Maduro thinks the world works…)

    • Navin_Johnson

      He single handedly brought down the USSR….wait that was Reagan! supposedly…Reagan chased old “Gog” down into Iraq so that Bush would have to fulfill “Biblical Prophesy” and drive “Gog and Magog” out of the holy land…

      • strangefriend

        Reagan would have to stand on his momma to kiss Chavez’ ass (to quote a line from Steve McQueen in Tom Horn.)

    • Nelson Ricardo Grimaldos Bapti

      what will Hugo Chavez do if he was here right now?! he’ll kick an ass or two!! that’s what Hugo Chavez’ll do

  • http://soundcloud.com/pocketsquare grumble-bum

    I’d guess that being a god who’s only duties were picking the winners of sporting events, interceding in minor legal scrapes, and tinkering with earthly politics, would be a pretty sweet gig.

    On the other hand, this construction of a god would apparently also have to deal with literal, completely unchanged, still petty people in the afterlife. Forever.

    • Rickenbacker4001

      “Blind faith is an ironic gift to return to the Creator of human intelligence”. – Anonymous

      • http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki

        Technically speaking humans stole that gift from god by eating the apple. So he’s probably not too happy about all that thinking you’re doing.

        • AnthonyC

          AFAICT, that’s only for *moral* intelligence. Before the Fall we would have been just as smart, but acted totally without regard for right and wrong.

          • http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki

             That’s more confusing and adds new credence to Alex DeLarge’s philosophy.

          • AnthonyC

            I *do* wonder how God justifies banishing Adam and Eve for doing something (disobeying him) when he designed and created their minds, and he clearly tells us he did so knowing they were unable to distinguish good from evil.

  • k0an
  • http://twitter.com/intensitystudio Antonio Carrasco

    How is this any more unbelievable than anything written in the bible.

    • Navin_Johnson

      It is pretty comical. The problem isn’t with the existence of a god, or with corrupt buggerers and dictator cuddlers in silly dresses being his representatives and our masters on Earth, or with the very existence of a “Heaven”, but the fact that it’s craaaaaazzzzy that Chavez would have some kind of pull there……