55 gallon barrel of personal lube now just $1,228.85


45 Responses to “55 gallon barrel of personal lube now just $1,228.85”

  1. Perfect for naked slip-and-slides!

    • SamSam says:

      Indeed, I remember reading it then, but coincidentally I was just visited this Amazon listing for the first time in over a year again today, just this very morning.

      Makes me wonder whether possibly Rob reads the same comments on the same front-page Reddit articles I do…

      (Kidding, of course he does.)

  2. For those on a budget, I’ve heard that veterinary powder for cattle birthing will work if you need that much slide lube.

    • ryuthrowsstuff says:

      I believe that’s the same as the J-lube linked below. Also accounts for most of the slime/snot you see in movie special effects.

  3. MrRocking says:

    “The people who viewed this” list is priceless.

  4. Box of Cotton Swabs says:

    Not eligible for Prime, but is eligible for Photoshop Disasters.

  5. NoOne Specific says:

    55GAL and “Personal”? How much do you need to have before it’s no longer ‘Personal”? When does it become “Lube with intent to distribute”?

  6. amordecosmos says:

    I seem to remember that last time, when this was posted, my favourite part was the “People who viewed this item also viewed…” list, which led with the incredible horse mask.  I’m going to go see if I can get that one back on top.  Because really, if the thought of a 55 gallon tub of lube is disturbing, the horse maks is just gravy.


  7. Does it come with a scoop or some kind of ladle for application? Perhaps some kind of hose and pump arrangement so you can keep it in the closet. Mount a dispensing nozzle on the headboard.

  8. For “people who viewed this also viewed…” I get a NINJA GRAPPLING HOOK. Clearly the internet has moved from the curiosity stage to the experimental stage, and now needs to figure out how to get out of the 55 gallon love lube tub.

  9. LogrusZed says:

    If anyone was curious about the utility here ya go:

    55 gallons is a little over 14,000 tablespoons. I’m usually a 1 tablespoon guy for jacking off or vaginal intercourse and somewhere around 2 for anal intercourse.

    I think in this quantity, however, some sort of pump would be needed. But you’re still going to lose a goodly amount just due to it clinging to the drum. Maybe a long-handled silicone spatula would be needed also.

  10. Robert Cruickshank says:

    Somebody who viewed this also viewed “Jurassic-Sized Parasaurolopus Dinosaur Statue”.  Makes sense.

  11. knoxblox says:

    55-gallon tub of love lube, a ninja grappling hook, and camera goggles. Sounds like someone’s making Ocean’s Fourteen for themselves.

  12. Bradley Robinson says:

    I wish to acquire this for purposes I do not wish to discuss.

  13. Urbane_Gorilla says:

    You can make your own considerably cheaper if you just buy enough instant Jello to make a thin soup. Cheaper yet if you can convince your boyfriend that he’s really missing the experience of a lifetime if he doesn’t buy you 100 packs of Jello and quick! ;=) 

  14. Joel Hruska says:

    As the person who wrote the porcupine review several years ago, I’d like to confirm to all concerned that the porcupines were fine. Eventually. We managed to disentangle the beasts with a combination of spam, astroglide, and a high-speed centrifuge. 

    Unfortunately, there was no way to save the quills. We trucked out 2.5 million quills to Yucca Mountain and the hidden landfill of ET cartridges. There they will rest — silent testament to the folly of this product. 

  15. niktemadur says:

    Only 10 left in stock!  At these prices ($1,228.85) you’d better HURRY, HURRY, HURRY!  As for me, I’ll keep a rapt eye out at Quibids and Beezid.

  16. Coyoty says:

    Recommended by Dr. Manhattan.  And Dr. Manhattan.  And Dr. Manhattan and Dr. Manhattan and Dr. Manhattan…  In fact, five out of five Drs. recommend it.

  17. Joel Emmett says:

    Obvious, not-so-fun fact: Every industrial product, typically intended for re-packaging and re-sale, comes in barrels — from powdered garlic to perfumes to dishwashing detergent.  

    I once heard a lecture from a Sears executive who based his entire speech, on the true nature of the retail industry, on how Oil of Olay (the face moisturizer that people believe actually works) is produced for barrels, as seen above.    

    Related nerdy quote from Jim Clark, “The only way I know how to make money is bundling and unbundling.”  (I once based an entire lecture on that.)

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