Discuss

82 Responses to “Death Star was an inside job: a Loose Change parody”

  1. anon0mouse says:

    Of course their Rebel source quoted is none other than FAKE WEDGE!!!  Can an impostor REALLY be trusted.  You be the judge.

  2. Jerry Murray says:

    Brilliant! And I can’t really stand Star Wars.

  3. Kenmrph says:

    This would also explain why they didn’t shoot at the escape pod containing the droids when it left Leia’s ship.

    But seriously…. “AlderBRaan?”

  4. Mordicai says:

    This is brilliant but I also REALLY like the idea of a Star Wars retcon that makes this all one by Skywalker family conspiracy.

    • AnthonyC says:

      Especially once you consider that Leia’s son Jacen Solo, after his brother Anakin dies, becomes a sith and has to be killed by his twin Jaina, who is prophecied as the “sword of the Jedi” by Luke. And Luke, Jacen, and Leia, in turn all have visions of Allana, Jacen’s daughter, ruling in peace over many species from a white throne…

      All EU, which means I expect Lucas to make it *really* need a retcon once 7-9 come out.

      • Marja Erwin says:

        I’m beginning to think that if it’s not in the WEG roleplaying game and its supplements, it probably doesn’t exist.

        So for example, episodes IV-VI exist. Tales of the Jedi, the Corporate Sector, Shadows of the Empire, the Zahn Trilogy, and Dark Empire I exist. But episodes I-III are fabrications. The Ssi-ruuk probably exist but the Yuuzhan Vong do not.

        • AnthonyC says:

          For a different perspective, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars_canon 
          Especially the part where Lucas says, in 2008, “I’ve left pretty explicit instructions for there not to be any more features. There will definitely be no Episodes VII–IX. That’s because there isn’t any story. I mean, I never thought of anything. And now there have been novels about the events after Episode VI, which isn’t at all what I would have done with it.”

          • Marja Erwin says:

            Well, yes.

            But the extended universe had added to Episodes IV-VI and resolved many issues with Episodes IV-VI, and them George Lucas produced Episodes I-III and these too often contradicted the extended universe.

            I for one couldn’t keep looking at it as a single setting with minor inconsistencies any more. After Episode I there were two completely contradictory descriptions of the force, the midichlorians, and the spiritual energy field. I think that’s the worst example. After Episode III there were two completely contradictory backstories for the Death Star design. Did the design exist by 10 YE or was it commissioned by Tarkin [possibly in the Maw Cluster] after 30 YE?

            I was already frustrated by the way the later novels ignored the Dark Empire material. A resurrected emperor, a second galactic civil war, and… nothing?

          • ocker3 says:

            I don’t think Lucas cared that much about serious continuity

          • Marja Erwin says:

            Well, I care!

            I think most fans cared. Just because George Lucas doesn’t care, why should we not care?

          • AnthonyC says:

            @ocker3:disqus Yes, Lucas himself he has said he doesn’t much care about continuity with the EU. He said he thinks of them as separate but parallel worlds. However, the people officially in charge of EU continuity disagree, and say there’s only one world, and had to retcon a bunch of stuff after I-III came out.

      • Mordicai says:

        I think the fiction that the EU was canon, even soft-canon, isn’t taken seriously…right? I never have, anyhow. I see it as a vast reserve of ideas to mine, but I wouldn’t take it as gospel. I’d like to see Thrawn without seen C’Baoth, for instance, or I’d like Dathomir to show up but I don’t need the whole book to go with it, you know?

        • AnthonyC says:

          The EU is basically internally consistent, but Lucas has free reign to ignore it. When he does, they retcon the EU as much as possible.

    • JaiGuru says:

       Too bad Disney doesn’t have the balls to tell THAT story.

  5. nico_forgot says:

    The exhaust port was two meters: not two feet.

    Less nitpicky – the music and tone are perfect in this. It’s so good I’m not sure this is parody.

    • Mr_Smooth says:

       That’s what they *want* you to believe

    • rrh says:

      Most (all?) of the music is from the Matrix.

      I think the people who make these videos like to imagine they are Morpheus and their audience is Neo. They will explain the Truth and blow your mind, and you are supposed to say, “Woah.”

      • The Rizz says:

        rrh you make so much sense – I never thought about it that way before.

        All I can say is … “Woah!”

      • chaopoiesis says:

        Soundtrack-wise there’s a definite Mission Impossible reference in there… possibly classic Bond too.

        • retchdog says:

          it sounds like the awful nearly-legal instrumental cover in the Tom Cruise Scientology recruiting/tradoc vid.

    • Gilbert Wham says:

       See? SEE? The minute these brave folk !!!JUST TRY AND EXPOSE THE TRUTH!!! to the world, you psyops internet trolls are there trying to drag them down. You’re JUST LIKE HITLER!!!1!

    • DevinC says:

      Another important factual error was that Grand Moff Tarkin, not Lord Vader, was in command of the Death Star, at least nominally.  (Leia herself alludes to this in front of multiple witnesses.)  And the YT-1300 is a freighter, not a fighter – though I can see how someone without a background in military spacecraft could confuse the two.

    • loopyduck says:

      Even less nitpicky – there was originally at least one other X-Wing who survived the trench run and accompanied Luke on the initial portion of the run, depending on how you divvy up the run.

      • Well, in the video I believe I said ‘every other Pilot was killed or failed in their attack run’…

        • loopyduck says:

          Cockpit voice recorders show that Anakin Skywalker initially ordered his wingmen to hold off when the Y-Wings and first flight of X-Wings were making their trench runs and personally destroyed each craft. You failed to address how Anakin Skywalker would be aware that his son was–or would have arranged for his son to be–in the second flight, and in which specific X-Wing. Flight logs also show that Skywalker’s TIE Fighter was subjected to a strong external force and subsequently lost control, producing a flight profile impossible for his craft to achieve as it lacked thrust vectoring; the out-of-control craft could very well have impacted the trench. The nature of this force is unexplained to this day, and raises doubts as to who actually ordered the false flag operation… if there was one to begin with.

          In fact, the better question is: considering that the various stationary defenses of the Death Star were designed to take on capital ships and other large craft, why did it take so long for fighters to be deployed? Why were CAPs not flown? Historical records show that no TIE Fighters were deployed until shortly before Skywalker’s craft left a Death Star hangar and after the Y-Wing fighters began their trench run.

    • xGOPinNEOH says:

       I couldn’t believe he said 2 feet, we don’t accept Imperial measurements here, and if we did it would be more than 6 feet across a slightly more plausible bulls-eye. But then reality returns and its just a movie or is it just another part of the Matrix?

      • chenille says:

        You can accept what you like, but I think Republic measurements are even more confusing. Parsecs aren’t always even the same type of unit!

    • Jonathan Roberts says:

      Two meters? That’s no bigger than a womp rat.

  6. Haz 0 says:

    9/11 had lots of coincidences happen, more than the usual Death Star inside job

  7. spocko says:

    What I appreciated about it was that it wasn’t just a single joke video. It built, just like Loose Change. I kept thinking, ‘yeah, I got the joke”, but it kept adding more and I watched the whole thing. That is the sign of a well done parody, they build up additional connections to fit the facts. Not unlike conspiracy theories do while looking like, “I’m just asking the question, what makes more sense? This or that? 

    What I also get a kick out of is that Dick Cheney is known as Darth Vader in political circles. And his gay daughter is out there pushing his legacy as the right thing to have done. Who profited from the war? Halliburton and you guessed it, Dick Cheney…

    • Petzl says:

      I believe it’s his non-gay daughter, Liz Cheney, who does the shilling for her dad’s legacy.  Mary Cheney kind of keeps out of politics.

  8. Eark_the_Bunny says:

    Fox News strikes again!

  9. chaopoiesis says:

    G*d damn George Lucas… I want my money back!

  10. Rhyolite says:

    Obviously, the Bothans were in on it.

    • planettom says:

       Many Bothans lied to bring us this information…

    • AnthonyC says:

      That’s something I never understood. How can you have an *entire species* *known* for being great spies? Especially when they’re a small minority in a somewhat racist human-dominated empire. I mean, wouldn’t you just not let any Bothans access  any high security areas or files?

      • Rhyolite says:

        Hey, don’t let realism intrude into the Star Wars universe.  Pretty soon you will be complaining about planets with only one biome and the Galaxy’s most elite fighting force being defeated by teddy bears with pointy sticks.

        • ImmutableMichael says:

          …and don’t get me started on midichlorians.

        • AnthonyC says:

          No, planets with one biome don’t bother me if we accept moon-sized spacecraft and a precursor race than can move black holes. It’s more the “I see you and immediately recognize you as a member of a species known for spying” effect. You wouldn’t tickle a barabel, and I would assume you wouldn’t hire a bothan to handle sensitive documents.

      • oasisob1 says:

        They’re just that good.

  11. Aeron Michaelangelo says:

    Totally missed an opportunity to link the third-party ship with Han Solo… the man who married Princess Leia.

    • Gilbert Wham says:

      Exposing this kind of terrible corruption at the heart of everything is no place for conjecture about this ‘Solo’ guy. We’re dealing with FACTS here.

  12. sqyntz says:

    wait, so Darth Vader caused 9/11 ??

  13. unit_1421 says:

    I’ve never gotten the whole inside job thing. If Bush was involved somehow, he’s so fucking stupid his only job would be to do nothing. Otherwise it was Stone Age technology: Hit something with a big enough rock and it will fall over. The hijackers took advantage of glaring gaps in airline security and training to do something extremely fucked up. Then again, there were all those briefing memos that W never bothered to read….

    • Dlo Burns says:

      I know most of them are mentally ill and can’t help it but Truthers piss me off. A guy I went to high-school with would just post some really inane crap on facebook, with the magnum opus being “has anybody ever really seen a steel and glass building burn down before?” (I think he was trying to push the ‘nano-TNT’ theory) to which I replied “the Crystal Palace from the first Worlds Fair” and long story short he was mad, and then got pissed when I told him he was moving the goalposts.

      TL;DR people can’t accept that the world’s biggest molov cocktails set fire to a place full of paper and carpet.

  14. G3 says:

    Donald Trump just demanded to see the Emperor’s long form birth certificate.

  15. anansi133 says:

    I’m surprised they don’t mention Anakin’s deliberate hit on R2D2. R2 was out of rebel control for a long time on the Death Star- time enough for the emperor to have turned him. I think when Luke turned off his targeting computer, it cut R2 out of the loop. Anakin noticed that his ringer was not in control, so blew its head off to cover his tracks.

  16. devinull says:

    This little film raises some good points. The real key is to follow the money…you’ll notice substantial investments by the Skywalker family in Sienar, Kuat Drive Yards, and the Corellian Engineering Corporation…. how do you think that a known spice smuggler like Han Solo would be able to get a YT-1300 freighter capable of moving at starfighter speeds, people?
     Also, you have to look at the explosion. The engineering specifications of the ardanium  capacitors would not have detonated in such a controlled and organized pattern. The detonation of the Death Star is far more consistent with the pattern of a controlled demolition than an explosive blockage of the main thermal vent. I know a weapons designer who has done experiments on this. The destruction was PRE-ARRANGED to conceal massive embezzlement by the Skywalker family. Wake up sheeple (particularly the sheeple of Ramulon IV)! The whole pretext for the occupation of the Moons of Endor is a sham! Those Ewoks never posed a threat to galactic security! Holophone your Grand Moff and demand a full imperial inquisition today!

    • anon0mouse says:

      How did Han get the Falcon?   

      That’s right…he swindled it from a black man!

    • G3 says:

      Your issue, and ours, is that we’re looking at doctored explosion footage. The original explosion, you remember, was old-school. Only after Lucas “digitized” this version does it look so cinematic. We need the original [Macgruder] tapes! I demand to know if there was anyone on the grassy black hole knoll!

  17. semiotix says:

    If this were a proper conspiracy thread, by now we’d have people crashing in to say that YES, the “official” Death Star story is obviously a lie, but NO, the Skywalkers weren’t the conspirators–it was the Hutts [60 pages of reasons why omitted] and anyone who believes in the Skywalker theory is just a shit-for-brains poseur wannabe bandwagon-jumper who’s EVEN DUMBER THAN THE SHEEPLE WHO BOUGHT THE OFFICIAL STORY [*angry wheezing*]

    Your standard Internet-age conspiracist tends to care much less about the evil acts being done by shadowy forces than he does about being the only guy in the world smart enough to see the whole picture.

    • chaopoiesis says:

      … the Hutts proof evidently being too large to fit in the margin.

    • willi0000000 says:

      typical clone response.  always asking for proof when it’s just staring them in the face.  besides, where does a clone get off calling us real humans sheeple?

      DON’T MAKE ME USE MY CAPS-LOCK ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. pt68 says:

    We won’t even get into the tangled up mess that comes with Leia’s future husband’s indebtedness to the Hut organized crime syndicate, or the Skywalker family’s connection to the old Jedi near-theocracy that pulled the strings of the Old Republic!

  19. Andrew Singleton says:

    Then again Even though Grand-Moff Tarkin was nominally in command the general assumption is when the Empire’s Second in Command shows up and issues orders they aren’t questioned.

    As for the YT-1300. Officially they are freighters but after the thousands of recorded instances of these ‘freighters’ carrying military grade hardware far in excess of what a freighter is legally able to carry classing it as a ‘fighter’ would make sense.

    Another brick pulled from the wall of lies. What better craft to get people you don’t want ANYONE to know was there to and from clandestine meetings? Given these so-called ‘military contractors’… aka Mercenaries and Smugglers tend to favor such heavily modified craft there’s usually just enough plausible deniability. However when you have the ruler of one system as figurehead/general and then later ruler of the ‘new republic’ ‘rescued’ by the (unknown according to ‘official’ records) brother from said station commanded by a Father neither of them supposedly knew about… who was a decorated war hero and influential figure within the later disbanded insurrectionist organization known as the Jedi Order.Things get to the point where even a nerf herder or moisture farmer can see how it all fits together in a coup by Anakin to overthrow the Empire as once the ‘new republic’ was established Luke Skywalker set about rebuilding the Jedi Order and conveniently had visions foretelling one of his descendants would rule over prosperity and peace ensuring the supremacy of the skywalker bloodline.

    I’m quite confident Anakin skywalker’s demise at the Death Star 2 was either faked so he could escape the obligatory millitary tribunal (after all nobody had seen his face after the Clone Wars and the excuse his suit could not be upgraded or new clone organs made is pure lunacy) or was a last minute change in plans in removing Emperor Palpatine from the picture and so throwing the Empire into a permanent downward spiral undoing the hard work toil tears and blood spent purging the old decedent republic of it’s corrupt influences brought about by senatorial deals, profiteering, favoritism, cronyism, and all at the hands of the ‘religious order’ of Jedi ‘advising’.

    …or rather ruling from the shadows over a theocracy that was briefly broken when the Galactic Empire was formed.

    Motive. Means. Opportunity. The Death Star was only the beginning though. Vader was in charge of the Hoth Assault debacle that should have ended the Rebellion in one fell swoop. Instead nearly it’s entire upper echelon flees to safety and Luke Skywalker is allowed to rendezvous with a shadow-contact from the supposedly purged jedi order known as Yoda.

    Whether this ‘Yoda’ was the Jedi Master of history or a code word to denote an organization working under the name of such an august luminary that preached acceptance in the face of the war-mongering of the likes from fellow Council-Member Mace Windu during the Trade Federation’s aggression leading up to the Clone War is unknown. However after this point Luke Skywalker again met with his father on Bespin ‘cloud city’ (owned and maintained by a friend of the ‘freighter’ pilot Han Solo… who happened to reach the rank of General after the New Republic was Established.

    After this meeting the Rebel Alliance moved from supposedly being constantly on the run to planning an audacious assault against a nearly completed Death Star Mk. II, incapacitated the garrison maintaining the shield generators with the help of local aboriginals and facing not with small one man craft that had the plausible excuse of being able to slip through fleet oriented defenses but instead against the, albeit incomplete but still with a partially functional super-weapon, Death Star, AND Anakin Skywalker’s personal super star destroyer… which later made a suicide dive into the Death Star’s superstructure after taking little visible damage in the fight.

    The Facts are there people. You only have to open your eyes.

  20. This is a propaganda film – the actual footage has been altered with all manner of CGI trickery.  It’s not even a good fake.

    • Andrew Singleton says:

      The Ducumenteries ‘A New Hope’ ‘Empire Strikes Back’ and ‘return of the jedi’ are the propaganda films. This ‘force’ hocus pocus that keeps getting bandied about and used as a narrative crutch. Substitute ‘force’ for ‘divine will’ and you can see the Jedi’s strings for what they are.

      Hell they keep updating and re’releasing the darned things and removing prior editions in hopes of closing up holes… yet keep introducing new problems, especially with the shoddy editing and CGI.#jediconspiracy 

  21. Gyrofrog says:

    Taken at the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, October 2010

  22. humanresource says:

    Who cares? The first Death Star was full of Imperial Stormtroopers. But what about the unfinished second Death Star? A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I’ll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers. Look-you’re a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia – this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn’t ask for that. You have no personal politics. You’re just trying to scrape out a living. 

  23. agooddecision says:

    It is clearly stated in the briefing before the assault on the death star that the rebels have ‘acquired’ the top secret plans for the death star. They have not employed some kind of space engineer guy to fucking reverse-engineer the plans, they have acquired the actual death star plans.

    This statement, if you don’t have cloth for ears, make it quite fucking apparent that it is by it’s very definition an inside job. Someone on the inside leaked the plans to the rebels. Inside job.

    QED

  24. Scurra says:

    Thank you.  Both for the link and the thread.  It reminds me why BB is still one of my favourite sites.

  25. BarBarSeven says:

    Why are we discussing the validity of Death Star I when we all know that the destruction of Death Star II at the Battle of Endor was a fiasco!

    This document does not advocate or condone the extinction or betrayal of ewoks, it merely reports upon a physical situation and the acts involved.

    The circumstances at the end of Return of the Jedi lead inevitably to an environmental disaster on the Endor moon. The explosion of a small artificial moon in low orbit sends a meteoric rain onto the ewok sanctuary, on a scale unmatched since Endor formed. Through either direct atmospheric injection of small particles, or showers of ejecta from large impacts, the atmosphere will be filled with smoke and fallout causing a gargantuan nuclear-winter effect.

  26. organizizer says:

    Those are not the correct plans for the Millenium Falcon. The cockpit is in the wrong place, in the middle of the cargo loading dock. (and before you say it, that’s basic structure, not “modification”. That’d be like making an 18-wheeler tractor push its trailer instead of pulling it, and calling it a “modification”)

    Obviously, this flimsy piece of under-researched agitprop is from the same people who who’d have you believe that a member of one of our local militia allies who went by the name “Greedo”, murdered while interrogating the pilot of the Third Party Ship just days before the suicide attack, shot first.

  27. organizizer says:

    also its not a “Corellian class” anything, although its reputed to have “outrun the big Corellian ships.” – although that may have only been the boast of its pilot anxious to land some business..

  28. Anthony Hernandez says:

    Where is the Jawaish Gold used to pay off the corrupt Empire officials?  For example, chancellor Rootie Chewliani is said to have a stash of Jawa Gold in his basement.

  29. Anthony Hernandez says:

    C’mon Rootie, show us the Jawaish Gold!  Show us the blood money!

Leave a Reply