Proposal: cats could deliver mail

A variety of animals have been used to deliver mail over the years, from camels and dogs to horses and pigeons. But cats? According to a 19th century article in the New York Times, around 1877 the Belgian Society for the Elevation of the Domestic Cat tested 37 cats for the task by taking them far from the city of Liege where they "promptly proceeded to 'scat.'" Within 24 hours, they had all returned home.

This result has greatly encouraged the society, and it is proposed to establish at an early day a regular system of cat communication between Liege and the neighboring villages. Messages are to be fastened in water-proof bags around the necks of the animals, and it is believed that, unless the criminal class of dogs undertakes to waylay and rob the mail-cats, the messages will be delivered with rapidity and safety.

"Domestic Explosives and Other Six Column Fancies: (From the New York Times.)" - William Livingston Alden

• [peterkvt80]

  Cats will deliver mail to whoever gives them food. Besides, mail can be a bit bulky for cats. Now if the cat was fitted with USB…

  • [nowimnothing]

    Eh, I bet they could carry a coconut much better than a swallow.

    • [huskerdont]

      But what if you used two swallows with a string tied between them?

      • [Christopher]

        What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?

• [sqyntz]

  the instant a cat detects they are performing as expected, they stop and take a bath.

• [oasisob1]

  Would they deliver on Caturday?

  • [Henry Pootel]

    :) beat me to it

    Clearly though this could be a solution to the whole US Postal Service issue. Plus consider selling LOLcat stamps – collectors would obsessively collect them.

    • [Boundegar]

      Another solution would be to stop electing people who try to destroy the USPS.  But I do like cats.

      • [Tyler Brown]

        That’s less probable than having a cat mail delivery service

• [CH]

  Ehh… yea, put some bag of mail on the cat, and it suddenly has no legs. Or finds some way of getting rid of the humiliating bag.

  … although it does remind me of this: http://boingboing.net/2007/06/06/cat-has-camera-on-co.html
  Hmm, perhaps it could work.

• [theophrastvs]

  Wasn’t there an ancient Outer Limits (probably written by Harlan Ellison) about a future soldier flung back in time (providing quasi-plagiarism for “Terminator”); who expected to be able to recite his war reports to cats to deliver? yeah… http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0667824/

• [mtdna]

  If you want to ship packages, you use a tiger. Which also solves the dog problem.

  • [Brainspore]

    You can also use a cheetah, but they’ll charge extra for the express delivery.

    • [James Penrose]

       They went out of business you know…Cheetahs never prosper.

• [Brainspore]

  So that’s what happened to all the carrier pigeons.

  • [showme]

    No, carrier pigeons are still around. It was the passenger pigeon that went extinct. Probably from laziness.

    • [CLamb]

       The truth is more bizarre than fiction here.  The generally accepted reason for the passenger pigeon’s demise is that they would only copulate when in dense crowds and hunting reduced the density of crowds enough to kill their libido.

• [edgore]

  I love the very Victorian assumption that there is a criminal class of dogs.

  • [angusm]

    The Victorians could tell which dogs were criminals from the shape of their skulls.

• [BookGuy]

  So, as per the experiment described, the process would be:

  1. Attach a message, which you want delivered to yourself, to a cat.
  2. Take the cat far away from where you live.
  3. Release cat, return home, and wait for the message to be delivered–the message you created for yourself–to you.
  4. ??
  5. Profit!

  • [CH]

    “Help, I’m stuck in a well!!!”

    It worked for Timmy, at least.

    • [Brainspore]

      Yeah, but a dog is much more likely to give a shit if its owner lives or dies.

    • [Culturedropout]

       ”Help, I’m stuck in Timmy!”

  • [Boundegar]

    What — you’ve never heard the phrase, “note to self?”

• [angusm]

  “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night … wait, is that catnip I smell?”

• [elusis]

  Given how my cat reacts when I put a harness on her, I imagine cats would take to mail bags like, uh…. a cat to water….

• [Margaret Organ-Kean]

  This reminds me of the cheese cats of France who even to this day deliver local cheeses to picnics in the French countryside.

  • [Nash Rambler]

    It’s surprising the cheese delivery service ever took off, after the milk delivery fiasco.

• [James Agenbroad]

  Of course there’s a history of cats working for the post office.  http://www.postalheritage.org.uk/page/animals

• [Nathan Rae]

  So i think I’d rather go with the modern version of pigeon based delivery system, http://www.pigeonpost.co  

• [Heevee Lister]

  Deliver mail?  They could, but they won’t.

• [Paul Renault]

  I suspect there’s something about the way they were moved from place to place and the fact that one of them was able to make it back in a little under five hours, that limits the transportation methods and distance where this is, um, practical.

• [Nash Rambler]

  Impractical, but adorable.

• [knoxblox]

  Since our cat loves to chew on envelopes, I suspect you would also need postal inspector cats to arrest cats who are guilty of tampering with the mail.

  • [Paul Renault]

    And makes sure you keep the mail away from this guy:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZBHZT3a-FA

• [Jacky]

  Could cat deliver mail? This is unbelievable. Its too cruel to animal especially to the adorable cat.

• [sockdoll]

  The Internet: a series of cats.

• [proginoskes]

  In all seriousness… if you’re going to reduce the number of people doing it, why not use robots? A Segway chassis would be a good platform.

• [CLamb]

  The cats could carry a larger load if they were riding sheep.

  • [Jeremy Sweeney]

    Correction: Wargs.