Police in St Louis charged 34-year-old Sydney Levin with using an artificial penis, the Whizzinator, to complete a urine test. The Whizzinator's been helping idiots get busted—including its creators—since 2005.

13 Responses to “Fake penis fails drug test”

  1. Boundegar says:

    Who even knew that was illegal?

  2. Jim Davison says:

    Well, my guess is that his real penis would have failed the drug test as well, so I guess it was worth a shot.

  3. That_Anonymous_Coward says:

    And yet women can use fake penises (penii?) all they want.  Such a double standard…

    /s

  4. Snig says:

    He was charged with possessing a forging instrument, which sounds like he was going to use it to try and write someone else’s name in the snow. 

  5. It doesn’t detract from the hilarity of envisioning this guy and his prosthetic penis, but it’s really past time we quit prosecuting things consenting adults do in private. Why would it matter what mind-altering substances he uses in his home? We need to keep the impaired (whether by drugs or sleep deprivation, or anything else) from using their vehicles while impaired, but this puritanical idea that enjoying things is wrong is long past it’s expiration date.

  6. noah django says:

    I could swear I remember friends of mine talking about how this thing worked for them, but memory is fuzzy enough for it to be hearsay.  But like Jim Davison said upthread, if you’re gonna fail anyway…

  7. niktemadur says:

    But will a real penis fail a fake drug test?

  8. sawtooth says:

    Why is someone using a fake penis to get past a drug test an idiot? There are probably millions of people who now have their private lives under chemical surveillance against their will. Any means to circumvent this kind of intrusion should really be applauded. I think it’s perverse that my employer could fire me for smoking a joint in the last couple of weeks. For lots of people, losing their job unexpectedly is financial ruin.

    • Brainspore says:

      Why is someone using a fake penis to get past a drug test an idiot?

      Because anyone who has a job that requires watching people urinate to make sure they don’t cheat on a drug test is almost certainly well aware of these devices.

      • Ygret says:

        I personally have used a variant called “the urinator” that uses a little tube instead of a prosthetic penis successfully a couple times. I’ve also loaned it to two friends who have successfully used it.  In most drug test scenarios the subject is not watched while they do the deed.  The practice of watching the subject pee is usually reserved for those in court ordered monitoring for a drug offense.  These things work more often than they fail, in other words.  So no, its not dumb, especially when there is the risk of losing one’s job.  

        Draconian laws and work rules that allow someone to be a complete alcoholic asshole, or a heavy prescription drug abuser, but don’t make allowances for smoking pot, which is a much milder drug, are authoritarian and arbitrary, and they also prejudice those who can’t afford the prescription version of their medication and must opt for the black market version instead.  
        Its not dumb to fight against this garbage in whatever way one can.  Yes, sometimes such attempts fail, but that doesn’t mean they are pointless or dumb.

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