An angry bird attacks Ben and Ann Hudson, a septuagenarian couple in England, every time they leave their Shropshire residence: "The 2ft tall thug pheasant, nicknamed Phil, swoops at the family as they come and go," but leaves the rest of the village unmolested. [Daily Mail]

23 Responses to “Evil pheasant stalks seniors”

  1. Show of hands: who else had to Google “thug pheasant” to see if that was an actual species or subspecies name?

  2. Sarah Jarvis says:

    I think I like the fact that they named it Phil. Too much Eastenders, perhaps?

  3. PhosPhorious says:

    I refuse to call the pheasant “evil” until I hear his side of the story. 

  4. Roose_Bolton says:

    This pheasant
    is unpleasant.

  5. Felton / Moderator says:

    And so begins the pheasant uprising.

  6. nox says:

    Crows –  which are said to be as intelligent as chimpanzees – will remember the face of someone who poses a threat to them for at least five years.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2009278/Crows-excellent-memory-helps-tell-human-friend-foe.html

  7. peregrinus says:

    “Sir, you are being hunted.”

  8. Grahamers2002 says:

    Hitchcokian on two levels.  First, the obvious allusion to The Birds.  Second, however, is the “animal identifies the murderer before everyone else does” slant from Rear Window.

  9. Listener43 says:

    I, for one, welcome our Phasianidael overlords.

  10. jackbird says:

    Has the building inspector followed up to make sure their “house” is not just three sticks precariously laid into a rectangle?

  11. Diogenes says:

    Swap that badminton racquet for a tennis racquet, and get out the roasting pan.

  12. Cynical says:

    I appreciate the lols as much as the next man, but do you really have to provide traffic for the Daily Mail (again)? They’re one of the most hateful, objectionable “newspapers” on the planet.

  13. PhasmaFelis says:

    How is that bird still alive? Is it illegal to kill them for some reason? I’m no hunter, but if I got attacked by a wild animal every time I left my house, my strategy would not involve cowering indoors, afraid to go outside. It would probably involve, say, a claw hammer.

    (Actually it would involve a strongly-worded call to animal control first. But failing that, claw hammer.)

  14. gumbowing says:

    Phil looks delicious but tough. I recommend letting him hang to tenderize him for a few days before roasting him with a nice barding of bacon. Bon appetite!

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