Michael Shannon reads the Delta Gamma girl's crazed email to her sorority sisters (NSFW)

Michael Shannon Reads the Insane Delta Gamma Sorority Letter from Michael Shannon

There are many jokey plays on the leaked email that a young woman in the University of Maryland Delta Gamma sorority sent to her sorority sisters, but Michael Shannon's performance wins. (Background: Last week, Gawker posted the leaked email and the sorority president responded that the note "absolutely does not reflect our chapter's values nor Sigma Nu's." Later, Jezebel posted some excerpts from the original author's now-deleted Twitter stream. She seems like a lovely person.) (Thanks, Bob Pescovitz!)

Discuss

36 Responses to “Michael Shannon reads the Delta Gamma girl's crazed email to her sorority sisters (NSFW)”

  1. KoWT says:

    lol epic.  I read that e-mail out loud to the herd a few days ago, Shannon knocks it down here.

  2. huskerdont says:

    Oh good, the movie is out already. I can’t wait to go home from work and give it a watch. That email was the highlight of my day. I am a 49-year-old male and I learned several new terms from it. Sure, it’s not PC and maybe she wouldn’t be a fun person to be around, but she sure can write an angry email.

  3. jdk998 says:

    I’d like to hear him re-read it as Nelson Van Alden. For the righteous fury. 

  4. signsofrain says:

    I don’t get why people say this is no big deal. This is the kind of behaviour that traumatizes people. Can you imagine having this woman be your manager at your job? Verbal abuse isn’t motivation. It has no place anywhere except maybe letting loose at someone who abused you first, and even then it’s not exactly ‘right action’. A little Googling reveals other racist and homophobic gems from this treasure of a lady. Hope she learns to be a decent fucking human being before entering the workforce or god forbid having children.

    • Boundegar says:

      Dear God imagine her parenting.

    • IronEdithKidd says:

      Hiring this woman would result in a hostile workplace suit no employer could win.

    • BookGuy says:

       If she hasn’t learned by now (and presumably she’s somewhere in the 19-22 years age range), then she’s not going to.  And the Greek system isn’t going to help.

    • bcsizemo says:

      Can you imagine having this woman be your manager at your job?

      Well that really depends.  If she is in a position where all this shit has rolled uphill to her then I can understand her being upset about it.  Was this email the right way to go about handling it…no…but at the same time I think everyone now has a grand idea of how much she is upset with her fellow sisters.  Of course most of them probably think she is the biggest bitch ever to live as well…

      Honestly I’d rather work for someone who tells people the straight honest truth with no filter than one who dances around the problems because that’s PC.

  5. elix says:

    #sigmanuproblems

    /amidoingitright?

  6. rvernon says:

    In the dictionary under “WIN”…there is a URL to this video.

  7. Heevee Lister says:

    Well, that was bracing.  I live under a rock and hadn’t read that yet. 

    I’ll say one thing for her: she certainly has “write like you talk” down.

  8. nem0fazer says:

    I’m a middle-aged white guy who was brought up in the UK and have no idea about US fraternities/sororities or campus culture in general other than what can be gleaned from watching Animal House. I have no idea what this is about. Ah ignorance, you blissful thing.

    • Hugh Stimson says:

      Indeed. 

      I’m Canadian and have lived in a few US campus towns. I never got over my initial gob-smackedness when I discovered that, far from being nostalgic anachronisms, “fraternities” and “sororities” remain a powerful definer of undergrad social existence.

      The letter that Mr. Shannon narrates so well may not be fairly representative of ‘greek’ social norms, but the system that made that letter possible seems at least as crazy to me as the letter itself. And it’s just every day campus life in the USA.

      • David Pescovitz says:

        “And it’s just every day campus life in the USA.”

        Not for everyone.

        • Donald Petersen says:

          Yep.  I’m at least a fifth-generation Yankee, and I don’t get this behavior at all.  Of course, my collegiate years were spent farting around as a Theatre Arts major at a southern California community college, so greek life has always been kinda mysterious to me.  Especially its allure.  Who actually signs up for these gangs?

          • welcomeabored says:

            Those who believe that who you know, is even more important than what you know.  Sororities and frats are about social networking within a certain perceived class.  Not necessarily the best and brightest.

            Which is why I had some sympathy for the young woman who vented her anger to the WSJ about not being able to get into the Ivy League school of her choice.   I can imagine what she thinks of those that got accepted,  who then wasted their opportunities with bad behavior. 

    • Narmitaj says:

      I don’t normally repeat a comment or go THIS but here I can’t resist -  I was going to say something almost exactly like this and found you already said it for me.  Mid-50s, went to Manchester University in the 1970s, even worked in the UK for US college textbook publisher Prentice Hall for 16 years, but I have essentially no understanding of what they are talking about or why it can possibly matter.

  9. welcomeabored says:

    ‘This week is about fostering relationships.’

    Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

    • Stephan says:

      The way I read her email (why did I even read it? why???) that was code for being sexually available for the fraternity next door.

      • jandrese says:

        She even calls out some girls for “cock blocking” so I think it’s pretty obvious what the problem is here.  Her sorority girls are not putting out enough and the fraternity they are partnered with is considering dumping them.  Presumably she is dating someone in that fraternity or something to be so upset about this. 

  10. Sekino says:

    The more I learn about sororities/fraternities the less I can fathom why
    would any autonomous individual wish to join. Am I understanding
    correctly that the sorority is matched with a  fraternity and they are expected
    to become automatic sycophants for each other’s parties and
    sports events? Who the hell signs up for that?

    • jandrese says:

      The point is that fraternities/sororities are supposed to weed out the chaff so the sororities offer up only the hottest women to the future CEOs/bankers/etc… from the fraternity.  They’re basically the country clubs of college. 

      In practice it’s nowhere near that clean cut.  How are you supposed to judge the quality of an applicant that quickly, especially when they’re mostly dumbass teenagers still and even the leaders are only a few years older.

  11. euansmith says:

    Greek? Are they like bankrupt or Gay or something? I mean, like, whatever.

  12. This is exactly how imagined sorority interaction to be.  I had a girlfriend in highschool that joined a sorority like this in college and the change in her personality was drastic.  The petty, snobby, and snooty attitude she attained in just under two years was remarkable.

  13. Jeremy Kacik says:

    This is henceforth my new acid-test for email: what would this sound like read out loud by Michael Shannon? Think once, think twice, think don’t-send-horrible-bile-filled-messages.

  14. That_Anonymous_Coward says:

    At some point we should weep.
    The ‘best and brightest’ we have to offer are seriously in need of a slapping.
    Does anyone have any problem imagining her showing up for an interview talking about how she can only fly around the globe M-Th because she needs Friday to fly to and hang out in Ibiza for the weekend?
    It doesn’t matter to her that she was applying for a position as a regular old drone, she is entitled to more because she went to college and her sorority experience lets her vault over people much more qualified.

    Parents look closely at this. 
    This is what happens when you shield your precious snowflake from reality.  Teach them that they can’t always get the pony, they can’t always win, they can’t always dictate how everyone else should be.  Stop being their friend, start being their parent. 
    Life Lesson 1 – sometimes life sucks and you have to deal with it, not whine until you get your way.
    Life Lesson 2 – the entire world doesn’t revolve around you and your whims.
    Life Lesson 3 – money and power don’t mean your a better person.

    I’m sure there are many more lessons, but hopefully the lesson people can take away from this is – If you don’t actually parent your kid this is what you end up with.

  15. Nores says:

    This girl is the David Mamet of sorority whips.

  16. Mike Watson says:

    WOW! My first funny or die bit where no one needs to die! YAY
     

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