Wonderful reading of awful sorority letter sent by horrible sorority sister

If you haven't heard about the insane letter sent around to a sorority by its concerned and thoroughly awful social chairwoman, you're probably doing something right. Nevertheless, there is a gem of good in every wickedness, as Funny or Die demonstrates with this dramatic reading of the letter in question [NSFW]


  1. What with the digging up of tweets to show how politically incorrect this woman is, etc., it’s turning into a bit of an internet witch hunt, all justified because she’s “privileged” I guess.

    Really, who cares?

    1. I think it’s not that she’s “privileged”. I think it’s that she’s “completely psycho” and has a self-evidently damaged concept of the importance of a college social club relative to basic human values like camaraderie, sincerity, and sportsmanship. I’m not sure where you’re getting the idea that PC politics are the prime motivator here. 

    2. Sometimes there really are witches, and they really need hunting.

      Between the twitter account and her filth laden missive (and I’m *not* talking about the swearing. I couldn’t care less about the fucking swearing) this … person badly needs a reality check. And right on time, here’s reality checking in.

      1. Sometimes there really are witches, and they really need hunting.

        How about an exorcism instead?

        The power of common decency compels you!

        1. That’s the part where her head spins 720 degrees and “No, apparently it doesn’t” is spoken in a guttural voice apparently from nowhere…

    3. I’m not inclined to much sympathy toward the nutcase; but I’m also not inclined to take a terribly optimistic view of the internet’s (average) motives.

      People enjoy a good witch hunt, it’s the closest thing to a blood sport that the internet has(except possibly SWATting, and that’s a niche thing). A thoroughly unsympathetic target is appreciated, because it strongly reduces the odds of anybody throwing cold water on a hunt in progress, and broadens the audience that can participate without scruples. A more sympathetic target either dampens the sport, or confines it to the smaller body of people who wholly lack sympathy for the type of person being targeted.

      The internet’s bloodlust is more or less orthogonal to the interests of justice, in itself; but the fact that people don’t like their conscience nagging them during an amusing episode tends to skew the hunt somewhat in the direction of justifiable targets. 

    4.  How is it “an internet witch hunt”?  Someone said something stupid and people are making fun of that person.  These are not new or unusual behaviors. 

      I’m going to assume you threw “privileged” and “politically incorrect” in there because they’re personal bugbears.  They don’t seem to have much to do with this situation.

  2.  i wish they would’ve had a woman read it, just because it seems more appropriate. but bottom line is, that sorority woman needs to get a grip.

  3. Yep. Like I’ve said before, frats and sororities exist so the rest of the student body is protected from the “popular kids” in high school who want to continue that bullshit in college. I applaud this letter. She is trying to keep the Greeks together. Everybody who is not a Greek will applaud wholeheartedly.

  4. “If you haven’t heard….you’re probably doing something right.”

    Well, I *hadn’t* heard, until you mentioned it.  Thanks a lot, pal.  Are you suggesting there’s something wrong with reading BB?  Say it ain’t so!

    When I think of all the hardworking but underprivileged high school students who cannot afford to attend the college she so cavalierly parties through, I could weep.

    1. Presumably some sort of peer mediation or other disciplinary action at their particular school.  

    2.  Well, it’s a SORority, so it could just be some sort of chapter-specific notion of “we’re sisters, let’s not fight”.

  5. I have no sympathy for her, because she goes beyond even the point of unreasonableness, but slightly toned-down versions of this sort of email are really not uncommon in college student groups. 

    I never had any dealings with the “greek organizations” but was privy to the internal politics of a few other student groups, including the one I was on the executive board of for three years (the Cinema Group; we played 35mm second-run movies on campus every weekend and because that’s expensive we had by far the largest budget of any student group on campus – so the stakes were high).

    I would not be proud if a few of the group email “conversations” the exec board had at a couple points were made public. I like to think I was the most reasonable, but I still wrote quite a few things I regret.

    Of course – there’s a difference because we were running a meaningful organization (relatively) without any of the things we all dislike about fraternities and sororities. We had a positive effect on campus, unlike them. So we had a somewhat more legitimate reason to be upset at each other for doing things poorly.

    But still, it was a learning experience – in college, where one hopefully learns these things on top of the academic learning – and I am glad that I got past that at university instead of in the real world. This girl will certainly (hopefully) get a reality check and improve herself because of this, but she will never be able to escape it or forget it like everyone else can with their regrettable college learning experiences. 

    p.s. I thought the video was really funny – he did a great job :)

  6.  So I’m going to play Devil’s advocate for a minute.

    First, this email goes beyond all bounds of common decency, but sororities and frats aren’t filled with ordinary people. Ordinary people don’t put up with this level of bullshit or seek this degree of excess. This is an organization based on traditions of binge drinking, bounded promiscuity, and traditions of hazing. The letter pretty much admits to as much when it talks about “sober” (I’m sorry, I mean “SOBER”) vs. non-sober events, and when she tells her sisters to talk to boys and not “cock-block our match-up”. It’s like a street gang with manicures. You kind of expect their leader to sound like a drill sergeant to a squad of evil Barbie dolls. And she does. Would you expect or tolerate this in any other professional student or professional organization? No. Are any of us surprised to see this out of Greek organization? I doubt it.

    Second, as an outsider to the system my best understanding of the Greek system is that you pay a ridiculous sum of money and potentially lean on a legacy to gain access to other people who also have an excessive amount of money and well-connected parents. You do a lot of binge drinking, hook-up with people in neighboring organizations, go to sporting events together, and theoretically do something at some point for your campus that no one has ever actually seen done in practice. This cements your bonds with these other people to form a cozy web of like-minded, like-moneyed people who might help each other out later. At its worst, it’s a cult of booze, sex, money, and power.

    Here’s the devil’s advocacy: given that you freely joined a booze/sex/money/power cult — in fact paid through the nose to join the booze/sex/money/power cult — shouldn’t you be the best booze/sex/money/power cultist you can be? Commit. At least this woman’s under no illusions about “sisterhood”.

    1.  “At its worst, it’s a cult of booze, sex, money, and power.”

      Wait, are you saying this like it’s a bad thing?

  7. I’m really, really surprised at everyone getting so self-righteously worked up about this letter. Is everyone incredibly naive about what Greek life is all about? I would get rid of sororities and frats tomorrow if I could, but give me a break. This letter is one of the funniest things I’ve read all week, and I want to hang out with this girl. So college students are insane and entitled? No shit. 

  8. She doesn’t give a shit about sportsmanship, so I guess she won’t mind people on the internet using her poisonous words to make her life difficult. I hope they do.

  9. If you haven’t heard about the insane letter(…), you’re probably doing something right.

    this is the sort of thing I usually only ever find out about while waiting in line at the grocery store. Also riding the bus, I s’pose. If I were doing it any more correctly, I would have to eliminate all human contact entirely.

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