The Disapproval Matrix: a framework with which to understand The Haters

Ann Friedman writes, "In my ongoing quest for the perfect framework for understanding haters, I created The Disapproval Matrix." With Ann's helpful diagram, one can more easily "separate haterade from productive feedback." []



  1. Really? Are you SURE that the haters don’t know you and act rationally on that knowledge?

    1. I think we can assume some level of intentional humor. Including herself in the frenemies camp points that way.

  2. 2 dimensional thinking!  i demand a Z axis with “Apple” Z+ and “Android” Z- (and then an overlaid Venn diagram involving some sort of Myers-Briggs which actually spells out 4-letter-words instead of the usual gibberish (and then… another shrubbery!))

  3. A critic who hates on you in the guise of criticism since you wouldn’t sleep with him… rational, or irrational?

    God love the visual arts.

  4. I like it, but the vertical axis … frenemies and haters have their rationale, it’s just they don’t really know it themselves.

    I need a strategy guide for each quadrant – focusing on the lower half – offensive strategy.  Like, misleading and misguiding frenemies, and baiting haters.

    We need, like, more dimensions.  There’s more to all this than meets the eye.

    Edit: btw I’m a Lover of this matrix.

    1. I don’t usually troll, but I engaged in trolling the privileged white college-aged audience at Coachella, by offering barely-functional phone charging in front of an absurdist art installation. It was very fun, although subtle. I firmly believed that I knew my rationale. The funny thing was that I only realized after the fact that I was trolling.

      1.  Sounds fun!  What an inventive idea.  See, I’m not sure trolling fits in the matrix – as you say, you knew your rationale.  Trolling needs a matrix of its own.

        1. Also; can I not be rational and know you, but still “criticise the work and not you”?

          Hmm. It seems like this graph might work better as a venn diagram, with four circles labelled “Lovers” “Haters” “Critics” “Trolls” and some witty labels in the overlaps.

  5. I’d like to draw attention to the ambiguity of the phrase “Give a fuck about you”.  This is sometimes used to mean the exact opposite, e.g., “I could give a fuck about Kenmrph’s comment.”

  6. It has been adduced that those habitually engaged in Hatred will persist in this manner, and adopt no other course, regardless of what stimulus is presented them.

    Often quoted maxim of the pamphlet era.

  7. I’d label the z-axis ‘Justness of my universe’, with this panel found at z=’loving, distant G-d’.  At z=0, ‘Experts in your field’ are listed both above and below the rational=0 axis.  At z=’Cthulhu ftagn’, ‘Your boss’ and ‘The ruling party’ fall in the far lower left.

  8. 1)  Xeni, I have been reading you for along time and this post is another one of your gems! Good Work!
    2)  Having written over 77 on-line articles myself, I would say your structure is good, have we ever met?
    3) This is good, but I have seen it done before, don’t try so hard next time.
    4) I wish I had written this article….NOT! ROTFLMAO!!!!

    There, I think that covers it. (Sorry, no Z axis for you other posters)

    BTW I have written those articles:

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