Hippopotamuses — big, lumbery, and related to whales — are described as being "mostly herbivorous". They are also MUCH faster than they look. And they are one of the most aggressive animals you'll ever meet. This combination of traits created an incredibly harrowing experience for river guide Paul Templer.

19 Responses to “"I was almost eaten by a hippo"”

  1. peregrinus says:

    time passes very slowly when you’re in a hippo’s mouth

    I’d never expected to hear that phrase!

  2. Snig says:

    My childhood trained me to believe hungry hippos could be distracted by marbles.

  3. Diogenes says:

    “Two years later I led an expedition down the Zambezi and as we drifted past the stretch where the attack had taken place…”
    Okay, that time you were just asking for it.  He let you off easy.

  4. Steven Douglas says:

    I just hate when this happens! Why just the other day this hippo……

  5. Brian Blank says:

    He was a hungry, hungry hippo.
    (Someone had to say it!)

  6. Daemonworks says:

    The hippo is the most dangerous large animal in Africa. (The most dangerous overall is the mosquito)

  7. TheMudshark says:


  8. Wild Rumpus says:

    Pro Tip: hippos do not make good pets. http://bit.ly/w1s8Do

  9. SomeGuyNamedMark says:

    Hungry Hungry Hippos!


  10. d4l3d says:

    I first read that as hippy. What is wrong with me?

  11. pjcamp says:

    And they twirl their tails like propellers to make the shit go flying.

    Monkeys hang their heads in shame.

  12. niktemadur says:

    mostly herbivorous“


    They are also MUCH faster than they look.

    Underwater, right?

Leave a Reply