Joe Biden's response to 7yo's "if guns shot chocolate bullets" letter: best thing ever

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38 Responses to “Joe Biden's response to 7yo's "if guns shot chocolate bullets" letter: best thing ever”

  1. CSMcDonald says:

    Hater Spin “Joe Biden endorses obesity guns”

    • Brainspore says:

      Figures, he’s from Pennsylvania. He’s been in the pocket of Big Chocolate for years.

    • MertvayaRuka says:

       No I think it’s adorable how this administration is playing people’s emotions like a cheap fiddle, especially after eight years of watching the previous administration do the same thing and get (rightly) criticized for it by the same people being played now.

      • Daemonworks says:

         That’s what politicians do. It’s pretty much the only skill involved in getting and keeping their job. They’re basically just ad-men with a bigger budget.

      • Brainspore says:

        Of all the things I hated about Cheney, I don’t recall ever criticizing him for writing a cute little note to a seven-year-old.

        • MertvayaRuka says:

          Cheney doesn’t do cute little notes, he does scowling belligerence because he knows that’s what his audience goes for.  If this makes Joe Biden seem more “authentic” to you, there’s a decent chance that it’s because of the same thing that makes Cheney seem “authentic” to his supporters.

          • Brainspore says:

            I don’t give a rat’s patootey whether Cheney or Biden is more “authentic.” It’s the impact of their actions that matters.

      • Antinous / Moderator says:

        When has Joe Biden ever said or done anything on script for PR?

  2. mccrum says:

    Everyone knows that the chocolate would be obliterated down the barrel of the gun as it was fired.  Leaving us all with only the faintest whiff of chocolate bliss and the inability to hear because of the gunshot.  Even if heat wasn’t a problem the rifling in modern day arms is going to obliterate any soft materials coming out of the barrel.

    What kind of parents raise a child like this without proper understanding of how guns work or ammunition is loaded?  They are failing the next generation!

  3. Roose_Bolton says:

    I don’t know what it is about the “You are a good boy.” bit that cracks me the hell up. Mercy!

  4. ValuedRug says:

    I keep imagining a future like the one from Demolition Man. Guns have become so tame that people shoot each other in the face as a greeting, and your social status can be measured by the type of flavor and odors emitted from the weapon. 

    “Greetings, friend. I formally convey my presence. What appears to be your boggle??”

    Enter recently aroused from cryo-stasis psychopathic criminal Simon Phoenix…

  5. Michael Christian says:

    I remember as a kid putting a flower in my slingshot and shooting a friend with it figuring, “It’s a flower, it couldn’t possibly hurt to be shot with a flower”. It left a pretty good welt. I picture similar results from chocolate bullets once the meltiness problem is solved. 

  6. SomeGuyNamedMark says:

    Riddled with Hershey’s Kisses.

  7. vrplumber says:

    These are dark chocolate bullets right?  Milk chocolate just wouldn’t hold up under pressure.

  8. BookGuy says:

    Lucky timing for this young man, in terms of which administration he wrote to.  Dick Cheney’s response would have just been, “Go fuck yourself.” And probably not even handwritten.

    • Alicia says:

      Or “yeah, my friend wishes that, too.”

    • hungryjoe says:

      I would like to take this opportunity to also make a joke about Dick Cheney, and how he shoots people for sport.  And something about the contrast between these Administrations…

  9. Philboyd Studge says:

    Dear Myles,
    I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. And since he’s so busy, you’d probably have to run up to him and hand it to him.-Jack Handey

  10. CLamb says:

    Chocolate can be 3D printed.

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