"Eat rainbows. Shit stars."

Click for full size. Text lifted from Fengi. It's shopped, you can tell by the pixels. No apologies whatsoever to the Holstee Manifesto. This has been around for a couple years, but it's making the rounds anew.


    1. It might be funnier if someone took Fengi’s wonderful text and really did some high-class fancy typography with it. But maybe it’s funny enough here because it’s really shitty typography.

  1. a better set one – from 2 years ago.  http://www.jwz.org/blog/2011/08/eat-rainbows-shit-stars/#comment-93809

  2. “Life is being born on 3rd base & acting like hitting a triple is simple.”  I have never heard the American Dream stated so succinctly and brilliantly.

    1. This is a quote from former Texas governor Ann Richards. I think it’s from the 1988 DNC keynote speech. She was treasurer then, but got elected governor a couple years later.

      I miss you Ann, and I must let the rest of the US know I am truly sorry we let you down my not re-electing her in ’94. 

      1. Love love LOVE Ann Richards, but looking it up, this is a bit different.  The quote she said was “Born on third, thinks he hit a triple,” and it seems to have been about Bush.  However, that quote indicates (possibly wilful) ignorance…but this quote insinuates deception, which I like better. 

        I’ve seen too many cases where people tend to hide the advantages of a situation and take credit as if they accomplished something, and this just nails it.  I mean, think about all the so-called “robber barons.”  They like to think of themselves as self-made men, but many of them stumbled into opportunity (finding oil, getting government monopoly, exploiting some inventor’s technology, etc.), and while I can’t deny they fought to keep it, that’s way different than making it.

        1. But people taking credit (especially dudes) for other people’s ideas and work is not taboo in the U.S. Pretty much every successful person does it, without shame, and they’re rewarded for their “bold assertiveness.” Maybe the 1% started it, but everyone’s doing it (unless you’re a young woman, in which case you’ll fall over yourself to make sure that people know that what you did wasn’t really THAT great, and anyway, someone else did it first/better.)

  3. Come on everybody, this new version is WAY better than the original. Sure, I agree with a lot of things in the original, but it sends me into diabetic shock  two-thirds of the way through.

    On the other hand, this new version really makes you think. 

  4. From the original: “If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing the things you love.”

    My current financial situation allows me to do two of the things I love, painting and masturbating. So, since I can’t afford to paint anywhere but in my home or close by, and local laws prevent me from masturbating elswhere, it seems I’m destined to marry a burglar, a VERY close relative, or a cop.

    1. Sounds to me like you found Mr. Right already! (Presuming you’re not a lefty or a woman.)

  5. TOURISM IS AN ADEQUATE SUBSTITUTE FOR DEPTH – bwhaaaaahahaa…The trendy traveler, I have met far too may people this applies to. This was fun, but I will admit, I stole and shared the original on my facebook. It felt good at the time, and would like to share this too, since the giggle it gave me felt good too.

      1. Heh. Someone once told me that he had lived in England. Turned out that he stayed with his grandmother for a week. By that standard, I’ve lived in Athens, Cairo and Kathmandu.

  6. Bleh. Highlighting the absurdity of delusional optimism and pride with delusional pessimism and shame would be funnier if I didn’t know so many people inflicted with delusional pessimism (including myself to be honest). 

  7. ‘Travel oftin; tourism is an adequate substitute for depth’ – awww man, that’s so awesome, just posted it on facebook, lost a third of my friends. Everyone is a winner :D

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