Michele Bachmann to leave congress

Max Read at Gawker watched the announcement so no-one else has to: "an interminable video posted to her websiteeight fucking minutes, of just her talking, the vibe somewhere between airplane safety video and personal-injury lawyer ad."


  1. If not her, then some other total effen douchetard turdburglar.  Remember, at least 51% of the mentally unfit in her district poked her chad.  If they did it once, they’ll do it again.

      1. When does Carl Weathers run for governor to complete the Predator trifecta? We already know he knows how to push pencils.

      2. Also the first state to defeate a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage and then immediately use that momentum to make gay marriage legal.

          1. It’s hard not to like a public figure who is so obviously not surrounded by PR people.

      3. I don’t get the Jesse Ventura hate.  Ventura kind of went weirdo towards the end of his tenure, but when he was first elected, it was a bold choice to not go with one of these cookie cutter D’s and R’s that have run most states for many generations.  And as I recall (I don’t live in MN) he was responsible for making a light rail project finally happen.  

        1. True that. Though he ended crazy, his legacy is a lot better than many progressives – given the very odd right-wing venom against the light-rail at the time (billboards with a graphic design meant to invoke Soviet-era oppression claiming light rail was some sort of evil “social engineering”), I highly doubt anyone (including Skip Humphrey, who really is a great progressive) could have gotten it done.

        2. Well, he got really weird with the 9-11 revisionism. And that ridiculous Conspiracy TV show.

        3. Remember his funny populist commercials? The ones with the kids playing with Jesse Ventura action figure beating up special interest group lobbyists?

      4. Despite the terrible Bachmann shitsmear on MN’s underwear, I found it to be a generally liberal, progressive, and gay friendly state during my tenure there.

    1. Actually, she didn’t even get 51%. I believe it was more like 50.5% to 49.5%.  For a while there, it really looked like there might be a recount. Against a political newcomer who spent far less on his campaign than she did.

        1. If she had run one more time, there’s a chance the Democrats could have picked up the seat. Unfortunately, whoever the GOP nominates in that district will probably be a stronger candidate, because how could they be weaker?

    2. I’m guessing you’re not from MN? Her district was heavily gerrymandered while she was in Congress to protect her reign of terror.

          1.  When I lived there over a decade ago “Bachmann”was a flower delivery service with lavender trucks… what happened…

  2. She’s been

    “defending the same Constitutional Conservative values”

    What does that mean?  Is she parsing out the “Conservative” bit of the constitution?  Is she a conservative who 100% backs the Constitution?

    Was John Wayne Gacey a Constitutional Conservative?  She was happy to announce their similarities – http://www.politico.com/gallery/2012/07/michele-bachmanns-most-controversial-quotes/000293-003811.html

    Bye, and thanks for all the fish.

    1. It means she’s been defending the conservative values that are constitutional.  I think she’s indicating the Constitution has been holding her back – she also wants to defend the unconstitutional conservative values and needs to leave Congress to do that.

    1. Oh, she’s not leaving the public sphere. If things get bad, she’ll have to resort to being ubiquitous on TV (see: Joe Scarbourough)

  3. This feels too damned good to be fully true.  I have a suspicion she’ll try to run against Al Franken for senate.  For which I would send money to family in MN to help  finance both compaigns because OMGALLTEHPOPCORN.

  4. The Middle East is a “devastating evil Jihaddist earthquake”?  Well, her speechwriter is going to be sweating out their resume.  “What did you do for the past five years?”

    Bad Lip Reading must just be giddy about the gift they were given this morning.

  5. She’s a real piece of work, but let’s get her name right: 

    Michele (one el)

  6. watch her eyes.  they go from all sparkly and relaxed in the beginning to a set of pinhole laserettes when she brings up her investigation. 


      And then her head, kind of got, well, all sparky, and she just erupted into flame.

      1. I think that was just the seat of her pants and the flame were just licking over the top of her head. 

  7. Why the hate for her?  Did she let an ambassador and some marines die in Benghazi and then try to shift the blame?  Did she spy on reporters?  Did she have the IRS attack opposing political groups?  Did she sell illegal guns to Mexico and then blame the American public for Mexican violence?

  8. Have to step up to defend the state where I’ve now spent more than half my life–in Michele’s district, too. Minnesota has its share of deeply conservative politicians and right-wing hyperventilators, but it also has sent Gene McCarthy, Walter Mondale, Paul Wellstone, and Al Franken to the Senate. And Amy Klobuchar is not chopped liver, either. As was pointed out upthread, the Sixth District was reorganized in a way that cut out the least Bachmann-leaning part of it–and even so, she just squeaked by in the last election.

    As far as Jesse Ventura goes–I remember what the polls looked like the year that he won the governorship. We live in a university precinct, and we’d never seen so many students show up. I don’t think they were there to support either empty-suit Republican Norm Coleman or decent-but-dull DFLer Skip Humphrey. Jesse won a not-overwhelming plurality in a three-way race (with a total of nine candidates). I suspect that without Jesse, the opportunistic Coleman would have taken the state. During Jesse’s administration, a surprising number of sensible things got accomplished and sensible things got said, along with the usual outbursts of oddness. We’ve had worse governors.

  9. We also defeated a cynical voter suppression amendment, put Dems in both houses of the legislature, held all the statewide offices and finished with money in the bank (unlike the GOP who was a couple mil in self inflicted debt and embroiled in a juicy sex scandal). And our voter turnout is tops. The question is “What’s right with Minnesota!”.

    (And we have Bald Eagles!)

  10. It’s a pretty bizarre speech: “I’m quitting. But here’s why I’m not quitting…”

    Also: great infomercial background music, Michele.

Comments are closed.