Bomber enraged by spelling error can't blow up sign because his bomb instructions were riddled with typos

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48 Responses to “Bomber enraged by spelling error can't blow up sign because his bomb instructions were riddled with typos”

  1. Gulliver says:

    When his children told him he should find a nice hobby…

    Am I the only one who, while reading this, kept expecting him to reveal some deep Colbert-esque situationist meta-humor? I mean, sure, there are crazy and stupid dumb-asses, but this is a more a like a character designed to elicit maximum WTF?!

    • Jonathan Roberts says:

      I think it’s one more piece of evidence for the theory that Onion news stories have become sentient.

  2. sam1148 says:

    The man is insane, he should have used a standard red marker and corrected the signage using grammar correction marks.

  3. acerplatanoides says:

    freelance editing is a real pressure cooker

  4. jimh says:

    Because the first instinct a well-educated, literate individual has toward misspelled signage is to blow it up?

  5. crummett says:

    To be fair, his stew was just dynamite! Very good, I mean! VERY GOOD!

    • jimh says:

      Actually, not being able to blow up a pressure cooker? Really?
      They WANT to blow up.

    • bzishi says:

      You mean “very well”. Be careful! There are grammar-nazis out there with pressure cookers.

      • Donald Petersen says:

        I’ve yet to meet the stew that, when asked how it’s been, would reply, “Very well, thank you.”  As a result, I never compliment Mom on her well stew.

        That said, I hasten to add that I don’t actually own a pressure cooker.  Crock Pot’s the best I can do.

  6. anon0mouse says:

    W-T-F!?

  7. Gilbert Wham says:

    look, we’ve all been there.

  8. bzishi says:

    Good point and good counterpoint. But Oregon does educate students who interact with non-Oregonians on the Internet. And if Oregon’s teacher standards were high enough, maybe Oregon students would go out and correct all the types in bomb-making instructions on the Internet.

  9. misterbeeg says:

    Typo rage!

  10. G3 says:

    Look at this whole page. Oregon. Kook behavior. 

    And not one pot joke.

    Ha ha, get it? Pot. 

  11. timquinn says:

    If he had spent some time among internet commenters he would have learned that grammar nazis are a low form of wack-job and would have been both more tolerant of typos and more ambitious in his targeting. A modest level of tenacity would have him spraying comparisons to Hitler on every surface in town and another level of goal seeking would see our hero explaining every natural disaster as the work of the local police in cahoots with big-oil and tax-accountants from the middle-east. Exposure to the internet gives one grand ideas.

  12. Funk Daddy says:

    You’re all laughing now but you won’t be laughing when we all seem to die that much sooner from having to wait forever for boiled potatoes or beans and rice because clearly the only solution to this madness is to restrict the use of pressure cookers or ban them altogether!

  13. DevinC says:

    I actually find this fascinating.

    I will grant this is pretty hilarious (though it may not have seemed to the participants at the time.)  But the depth of this example of human folly is so extreme, I really want to know more about the bomber’s mindset.

    * What did he expect to happen next?  (The likely outcome of his actions is very strongly at odds with his stated goal.)
    * How much thought went into the bomb itself?  Why not just use a can of white spray paint?
    * Were the typographical errors really so bad as to make the bomb’s assembly impossible?  (A wrong number can be a much more serious impediment than a misspelled word.  Did he try corroborating with other sources?)
    * Why this specific error?  (There are much worse ones around.)  

    I’m not sure what the bomber’s answers would be; I think he might even have difficulty answering the questions. 

  14. social_maladroit says:

    Police arrested Burdek in his van around 10 a.m. after employees called back to say they spotted him in a van nearby. Lt. Dave Okada said the pressure cooker did not turn out to be a bomb. He was charged with disorderly conduct.

    Just a crackpot with his cracked pot.

  15. “I think that only follows, though, if these were official State of Oregon bomb-making instructions that he’d gotten hold of.”

    This sentence was ended with a preposition. WHERE MY BOMB AT

  16. SomeGuyNamedMark says:

    I had to read this a few times to convince myself it wasn’t an Onion article.

     

  17. nachoproblem says:

    This is the most “meta” thing I have ever encountered.

  18. crummett says:

    I see what you did there.

  19. bolamig says:

    I have spent 5 minutes trying to write something that can express how thoroughly mind-f’d this story makes me feel.   The best I can come with is that I feel like I’m in England in some comedy of manners.   Oh, forget it, maybe this is just one of those things better said with a pressure cooker. 

  20. leidentech says:

    Meatspace troll.

  21. I can’t help but picturing that old man as Chevy chase/Pierce Hawthorn !

  22. kiptw says:

    It’s unfortunate all round. Here’s somebody who saw a problem. Specifically, a stupid problem. And he tried to dramatize it. Sadly, he just wasn’t that good at it.

    Here’s how it was supposed to go down. He’d go in, show his pressure cooker, they’re realize the high absurdity of it all, have a good chuckle, and go out and fix the sign, chatting amongst themselves about what a witty bit of street theatre it all was.

    So he went in and made his spiel. They looked at his pressure cooker. He went to his emergency quip, about how typos and bad grammar had kept it from going off. And still, the stone faces.

    I’m not on the scene, so I don’t know. Perhaps this man is still trying to get through it with a straight face, without ever uttering the safe words, “It was a JOKE.”

    It reminds me of this classic Kurtzman cartoon.

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