Horrifying clown statue deep in the woods

This horrifying clown mannekin was reportedly placed on a hiking trail deep in the Oleta River in Aventura, Florida by a park employee who got it from the Enchanted Forest Elaine Gordon Park in North Miami.

If you went hiking through Oleta River in Aventura Florida last year, you probably shit your pants a couple miles in. (imgur.com)


    1.  Maybe it was an attempt at a benevolent act.  The person who moved it found it disturbing, so he/she decided to place it far from civilization where it would be seldom seen.  Except.  Something happened, while the mover was alone with the clown…

  1. Send in the clowns,
    Those daffy laffy clowns,
    Send in those soulful and doleful,
    Shmaltz-by-the-bowlful clowns.
    Send in…the clowns.

    1.  I find it remarkable that old mororcycle frames and engines are just sitting there and no one collects them up to use or sell for scrap.

      1. these are pretty far in, a few miles maybe, no longer motor-vehicle accessible.  but come to think of it, i may want those blocks.  maybe i’ll make a skiff and drag them out of there.

        1.  That close to Portland and no one has an off-road  bike trailer that can handle the weight?

  2. Psycho clowns that pull their heads off are nice and all, but where is the game of thrones post this week?   

  3. Send in those Florida cops to rough up and arrest it for giving people menacing looks.

  4. Y’know, I don’t even mind clowns (though I don’t remember ever laughing at one, or even cracking a smile), but the fact that this one appears to have detached its own goddamned head makes me applaud this whole maneuver.  Someone has gone to some trouble to put a little more whimsically kinky terror into the world (as opposed to the more depressingly commonplace varieties stemming from your garden variety sectarian tensions, racism, sexism, psychopathies, gross economic inequalities, and injustices both small and large, real and perceived), and I’d like to shake his or her joy-buzzered hand for making the world a bit more fun.  In a pantscrapping way.

    1. Agreed! Brilliant, scary, funny, clever…

      But this should be the ONLY killer clown in the middle of nowhere. We don’t want this to become the new “planking”.

  5. I just don’t understand the irrational fear of clowns. Never have. I have always liked clowns, and even the “scary clown” makeup ones just seem goofy to me, not at all frightening. Nobody has ever really explained to me *why* they are afraid of clowns, just that they are.

    1. If someone is genuinely phobic of clowns, it’s irrational and  can’t be explained. It’s an Uncanny Valley thing for some people. It’s the makeup making their face seem unnatural. And also, no stable minded human being is ever that happy.

    2. Clowns are avatars of impossible, unearthly, inhuman happiness.  It’s a facade that’s so transparently fake, that it’s the practitioner attempting to pull off the illusion which I find ultra-creepy

  6. We have a lot of hiking trails around here.  Now I want to recalibrate my hobbies a little.

  7. The wide shot was definitely the way to go with this photo. Right to the close-up would have been the amateur move.

  8. I used to live on a hilly neighborhood on the edge of town, some great trails began right where the houses ended.  At first I hiked there at night when the moon was up, but as time passed I got bolder and sometimes did it during moonless nights, it’s exhilarating to walk long and deep with no visibility, confront and dissolve fears, then navigate the dark in what feels like total freedom, you are invisible!  You are a ninja, you own the night!

    Anyway, at the end of a meadow and the foot of a canyon, there was a very creepy shrubbery/grove area that I called Fangorn.  If this bastard demon clown would have been planted there and I bumped into it at night… I’m getting angry just thinking about it.

  9. Looks more like painted statue. A mannequin is a human form over which clothes are hung for display. Of course a mannikin is a fish.  A manakin is a bird.   

  10. !!! That’s one of my local mountain bike trails. Been meaning to get out there, now I have more reason.

  11. So weird to realise as an adult how many kids were terrified of clowns.  And then those kids grew up,  adults still terrified of clowns.  I guess a clown outside its ‘normal’ environment would feel ominous. 

  12. Gods from one culture, often become demons in another.  Apparently Harpocrates has discovered the joys of this….  By the way I loved “Little Brother” on wattpad.  Once when I was an amped-up, nomad magician, I was offered a chance to bring the ruins of a carnival howling back into the world of the living.  Kindly declined…

  13. Hidden throughout the woods around Aspen’s 4 mountains are these shrines to cultural icons. It is freaky to find them. No one will publish a map out of respect. There are traditions you follow at each one —  but that is more local knowledge, see here: http://www.aspensnowmassshrines.com/

  14. Black humor meant to help you find your own sense of humor – but I’d much rather stumble upon this than a wild and carnivorous animal looking for the next meal

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