Mean Monkey Monday 11


29 Responses to “Mean Monkey Monday 11”

  1. aunthillary says:

    And as always, the brown people die first.  Awesome.

    • tré says:

      White anti-hero looking dude appears to be on the path to survival. Everyone was surprised.

      • Nash Rambler says:

        I don’t know about that.  He’s using that lever-action rifle all wrong.

        • Antinous / Moderator says:

          When he brings it down on the nearest attacker, the barrel should be positioned just right for him to blow a picture window through his own abdomen when it accidentally discharges.

      • jandrese says:

        He looks like he was woken up (at noon) from his all night drinking binge by monkey attack.  He’s still so muddled he can’t even use his rifle correctly.

  2. DreamboatSkanky says:

    Wow, those Pickup Girls of St Joe do NOT like it when you don’t tip.

  3. Mike Baker says:

    Worst. Pick-up line. Ever.

  4. Preston Sturges says:

    The last known photo of Tim Heidecker

  5. Preston Sturges says:

    Wild animals are always shown 2/3 real size.  A friend did the tourist safari thing in Kenya.  Sitting around camp, he wailed an empty whiskey bottle at a baboon picking through the trash. The bottle hit the baboon in the head and bounced off.  This did not hurt it, or even annoy it, it barely got its attention. The baboon just glanced at them, and they decided to not bother it any more. 

    • Gilbert Wham says:

       A friend of mine has a similar story from when he was a lance-jack in the Fusiliers: whilst on detachment as part of an anti-poaching campaign in Kenya, his Land-rover crew and he were out on patrol, and, naturally, had stopped to skive off for a cup of tea & a cigarette. A troop of baboons came past them, and he started hooting and waving at them doing a bad monkey impersonation (or, a good hairless pink idiot monkey impression, depending on your point of view). The alpha baboon, so he says, sauntered over and knocked him the fuck out.

      • I need a video of this, it sounds hilarious.

      • Dave1183 says:

        I’ve heard that baring your teeth at an ape is not a good idea. I had an anthropology instructor who tried that at a zoo while taking his daughter’s Girl Scout or Brownie troop on a tour. The ape threw poop at him.

        I tried it (the teeth thing, not throwing poop… at least not at the zoo), and all I got were bored glances from the apes. Of course, they were behind glass (or was it me that was behind glass?) and they knew poop wouldn’t go through it. I assume they tried and failed in the past.

    • OldBrownSquirrel says:

       Imagine humanoid aliens with enormous, bulbous heads that hold greatly enlarged brains.  They’re hyper-intelligent, but between their thin skulls and their oversized brains, they are unusually vulnerable to head injuries.

      That’s what we’re like, relative to baboons.

      • Dave1183 says:

        Actually, if we listen to their stream of consciousness thinking…

        “…food food food food poop food touch genitals food food food scratch eat bug food food food piss food food food…”

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      Your friend is the reason that I root for the animals to kill the humans.

  6. Felton / Moderator says:

    The monkeys are not impressed by his boomstick.

  7. V says:

    Those Pickup Girls of St. Joe’s come on rather strong, don’t they?

  8. adonai says:

    Just not the same without the Seanbaby narration. 

  9. Dave1183 says:

    Touch my monkeys. Touch them!!!

  10. pjcamp says:

    So many Paiute pickup girls for two bits!

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