Dangers of eyeball licking

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34 Responses to “Dangers of eyeball licking”

  1. vrplumber says:

    I like eye lick.

    Seriously though, people are weird.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      Eye lick is good lick.

    • RElgin says:

      Luke’s duck likes Luke’s eye licks,
      Ducks Luke likes like Luke’s eye licks,
      Luke licks,
      Ducks like,
      * * *
      Dr. Seuss is one weird guy to lick – I mean like.

    • niktemadur says:

      Eye lick, you lick, we all lick for eye lick (and ice cream).
      But yes, the fact that a PSA has to be posted about licking other peoples’ eyeballs…

  2. PhosPhorious says:

    “It’s not good to let someone lick your eyeballs.”

    I will file this under “Advice that no one ought to need.”

  3. bzishi says:

    Is this one of those made up stories where adults can sit around and gripe about the “kids these days”? Oh, and it is happening in Japan, so we can say “aren’t the Japanese weird?” It sounds like BS to me.

    • Boundegar says:

      Remember the scandal of “rainbow parties?” And before that, it was “greenlighting.” Neither of which existed, but which gave adults an opportunity to express horror at the rampant sexuality of these young people these days, while also enjoying a frisson.

      I know eye-licking is a thing, but I kind of doubt it’s the rampant unsafe teen nasty.

    • benher says:

      Didn’t you know? We all fly to work on futuristic hello-kitty vibrator laden talking robo toilets. Then it’s 12 hours of calisthenics, followed by ankle rape and a prayer to Watanabe Ken. Finally, we return home, intoxicated by sake fermented in Gamera feces so our wives can dutifully lick our eyeballs until we pass out. Banzai!

      I think these Japan posts are more for the entertainment of those who have actually stepped foot in this country.

      • Cynical says:

        You forgot the now-thoroughly-debunked-but-somehow-persistent “used schoolgirls’ knickers in vending machines” trope.

        I mean, yeh; clean underwear from vending machines for the salarymen after a heavy night, and schoolgirls’ knickers (illegally) sold by disreputable sex-shops, but combining the two would be weird…

    • Crashproof says:

      A japanophile, who is also a good friend but quite weird, told me about eyeball licking 20 years ago, and that’s the reaction I had.  Seeing it somewhere else makes me think it’s probably a real thing.

      Americans do a lot of weird stuff too, it’s just that we don’t think it’s weird.  Or we do think it’s weird and we just stop at “kids these days.”  Planking for instance.  I bet Japanese websites had stories about the crazy Americans and their planking.

      • Pag says:

         Tokyo is such a massive city (over 35 million people in the greater Tokyo area) that even ultra-niche activities will find enough fans to make a business or a community possible. If just 1 in 100,000 people think something is cool, then that’s 350 that join your group, whereas you’d have just a handful of people in an average city. That’s why Japan appears weird: because it has the density to allow all kind of weirdness to become subcultures.

        • Cynical says:

           That’s very true; a lot of the rest is willful distortion on the media’s part. The thankfully now-discontinued WaiWai News subsection of the Mainichi seems to have been the original source for the majority of the clearly false “weird Japan” stories you still hear:
          http://www.japaninc.com/node/3442

          TL;DR: Bored foreign journalist makes up things to get page hits, someone starts translating stories back into Japanese on 2ch, journalist gets shit-canned, “weird Japan” stories get fewer and fewer…

          • Antinous / Moderator says:

            I used to read Mainichi every day when they had the crazy translator. There wasn’t much point after they fired him.

    • evilplatypus says:

      My father does this, so I can personally verify that it happens. (We’re not Japanese though, so I don’t know about Japan).

  4. crenquis says:

    Nadine always gave the best wink jobs…

  5. Noddy93 says:

    “worming”… i never knew it had a name. back in highschool (1987) one of my girlfriends liked me to lick her eye. it started as a strange request from me (just to be strange) but the effect it had on her.. well… 

  6. Timmo Warner says:

    I think I was happier before I knew this was a thing.

  7. Sekino says:

    You’d never guess that Elektrika Energias is into weird shit.

  8. welcomeabored says:

    I had this uncle – yes, that uncle – who used to hold down his nieces and nephews and lick us across the eyes.  It was gross but of course we howled with delight at how disgusting it was.

    I thought the hot fetish was condom snorting… or is that soooo 2012?

  9. Gulliver says:

    Personally, I would have quit the habit after the weird offshoot of TB with corneal ulcers, but that’s just me.

  10. pjcamp says:

    Elektrika Energias? That beats the snot out of the whole rest of the story. Licking eyeballs looks tame.

  11. kiptw says:

    I remember a story — maybe from the 80s or one of those decades — where a US politician had an eyelash or something in his eye while he was either in Russia (USSR, whatever) or in the presence of the Prime Minister, and he couldn’t blink it out, and the Russian official leaned in and got it off with his tongue. Supposed to be lots gentler than a finger.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      I remember a scene in some novel about a lingual eyelashectomy. But I think that it was a bizarre act of flirtation, and definitely not involving diplomats. Putin, obviously, would whip off his shirt, shoot the eyelash with a tranquilizer dart and send it to an eyelash species revival facility.

  12. Mitch_M says:

    And while you’re at it keep the money shot out of the eyeball. Happens all too often in the Valley.

  13. Steeevyo says:

    Stopped reading when Japan was first mentioned …

  14. crenquis says:

    I used to impress the laydeez by licking my own eyeballs…

  15. Ale Arci says:

    ok, that’s crazy. but have you seen this related video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=-OOAen3O71I

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