Slate's Joshua Keating indulges in some clever speculative fiction
: how would American media report on the shutdown if it were taking place in another nation? "The capital’s rival clans find themselves at an impasse, unable to agree on a measure that will allow the American state to carry out its most basic functions," he writes. "A young fundamentalist lawmaker from the restive Texas region, known in the past as a hotbed of separatist activity," led the "rebellion."
Activity in the legislature ground to a halt last week for a full day as Ted Cruz insisted on performing a time-honored American demonstration of stamina and self-denial, which involved speaking for 21 hours, quoting liberally from science fiction films and children’s books. The gesture drew wide media attention, though its political purpose was unclear to outsiders.
The collapse of the GOP-engineered shutdown has the Tea Party in a fury, and they’re showing their wrath with a series of vicious posts to John Boehner’s Facebook. The Tea Party Insult Generator teases these insults apart and recombines them to make them stronger, faster, better than before.
Spocko sez, “It’s nice to know that some companies understand that non-essential federal employees are people too, with needs and wants and not robots that can be shut off with a switch. Thankfully Vibrators.com understands and is giving away free vibrators to Federal Employees during the government shutdown. They are giving away 200 a day. […]
Harold Varmus, director of the National Cancer Institute, sent this email today to “NCI staff, grantees, advisors, reviewers and others,” warning of increasingly damaging effects the ongoing federal government shutdown will have on cancer research and treatment at NCI. Even worse than the litany of known, present harm, is this grim prediction: the damage won’t […]
When you can’t wait for the world’s longest meeting to end, the mindless leg bouncing makes your boredom obvious and just annoys everybody else. Everyone knows the TPS reports need the damn cover sheet, but some sadistic colleague keeps forgetting, probably on purpose just to eat into your lunch hour. Enough is enough!While serving a […]
What could be more fun than a slingshot that shoots tiny airplanes? A slingshot that shoots tiny glowing airplanes of course! These toy planes are outfitted with ultra-bright LEDs, so you can fly all night without losing them in the trees.Whether you are a regular-sized child, or an overgrown adult one, these light-up flyers offer […]
You know the drill. You go to the dentist and they ask you how often you floss. You lie through your teeth and say, “every day!” (Bonus points if you have some cilantro or chives stuck in your gums from lunch). You don’t want to keep up the charade any longer, but rubbing that tiny strand […]