Something Awful celebrates the deathless prose of Thomas Friedman and the mountains of empty calories on offer at the International House of Pancakes -- Friedman's culinary equivalent -- by giving us notional menu copy as written by the Great Flat One.
Picking a favorite pancake is a lot like picking the right tie for a meeting. In certain cultures more importance is placed on the tie you wear than on the suit or even what you're saying. I wore a blue tie when I asked a Palestinian widow what she thought of Israeli pizzas and a paisley red tie when I asked an IDF commander why nobody reads MAD Magazine anymore. "It's because we're passing over the cusp of the digital age," said Ari Rabin. That was when I realized that was what we were: cuspers. We were on the cusp, going through the painful process of shedding all the analog, but not purely digital yet. I folded Tab A to meet Tab B and that was when I saw an image of two eggs, two bacon strips or pork sausage links, and IHOP's golden hash browns, along with my favorite pancakes, the CINN-A-STACK. I wiped CINN-A-STACK juice from my mustache and the Palestinian widow admitted she liked pizza, proving once again that we are all on the cusp together.
Thomas Friedman Writes for the International House of Pancakes Menu
Red Lava Toys is a Detroit-based startup that make super cool, low-cost custom Minecraft figs at a local makerspace: they CNC-milled their own injection molds for the body and joints, and have precision die-cut vinyl stickers that they print to order with long-lasting ink and cover with a clear adhesive coat, then place them on […]
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My publicist just found an extra box of the cool promotional Walkaway multitools, and she’s generously offered to give them to the next 100 people to reserve tickets to the May 7th Walkaway event at Chicago’s Royal George Theater, where I’m presenting with CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY creator Max Temkin (current ticket-holders, don’t worry, you get […]
Bamboo has lots of uses beyond just being panda food. Things like bikes, roads, scaffolding, and musical instruments are made from the fast-growing grass. But unless you are participating in a tropical-themed LARP, you probably wouldn’t want a shirt made from bamboo stalks. So why do bamboo bed sheets make any sense? Because yarn extracted from […]
If you want to work in tech, but don’t have any desire to code web apps to help businesses sell things to other business, you might want to consider a career in cybersecurity. Judging from the apparent complete infiltration of Russian hackers in American cyberspace, it seems fair to speculate that there’s a major shortage of […]
All moms are different. But all moms like getting flowers on Mother’s Day, and that’s a fact (not, however a fact we can document in any fashion.) Instead of getting chewed out for forgetting to call her on the second Sunday of May, you can take care of it ahead of time with Teleflora’s flower […]