North Korea Press Release Generator

Last week, North Korea announced the trial and execution of Kim Jong Un's "traitorous" uncle Jang Sung Thaek—by way of a startling press release, filled with bizarre insults and florid descriptions of Jang's misdeeds.

But did you know that on the same day, the People's Republic also condemned Elmo to death?

Just kidding, kids! Welcome to the North Korea Press Release Generator, which produces random denunciations based entirely upon last week's official announcement and various other statements put out over the years by the DPRK's official journalistic organs. You can even denounce your friends, and share news of their imminent execution on Twitter and Facebook! Refresh the page for a fresh official condemnation.

More: the BBC recently published an article explaining why North Korea's official insults are so over-the-top. I would also be remiss not the point to the pioneering NK Random Insult Generator, created by NK News in 2005.