How not to write satire

Entrepreneur Bryan Goldberg penned a surprisingly unpleasant item about San Francisco, crafted "satirically" as a dressing down of the tech workers moving in and driving rents up. Is it ever funny when power punches down? Not today...

By making a high wage at a young age, you are pushing real and honest San Franciscans out of the housing market. Sure, you make less money than some electricians or restaurant managers, but those guys have families to support, and they pay attention to their savings and retirement. So, when you recklessly spend $3,400/month on your apartment, it is crowding out the people who are far more thoughtful about their finances. People with real responsibilities. People with families.

Did you know that those guys had two kids when they were your age? That is how things are supposed to work. Who do you think you are being unmarried for most of your 20s? No kids until you and your future wife have been married for five years? Is that a joke? What the hell is wrong with you?

It seems almost too stupid to be real, and there's already plenty of cringing disgust going around for Goldberg and his enablers. So I instead set about trying to imagine: what would a successful satire of San Francisco's natives look like? Times are still quite hard, though, and I didn't get very far. But I'm pretty sure that such a thing wouldn't involve quite so much stuff about people's children and families.