Passive Aggressive Notes' best of 2013


The annual best-of collections from Passive Aggressive Notes are always a great read, and this year is no exception (pedantic pre-emption: Passive Aggressive Notes also collects notes that are merely aggressive, rude, snotty, or otherwise humorously objectionably and obnoxious).




Most Popular Notes of 2013

Notable Replies

  1. But. What were the godless activities?

  2. Nelsie says:

    Being atheistic, loudly.

  3. teapot says:

    1)

    2)

  4. Clearly they need to have loud headboard banging sex while screaming "Oh God! Oh Jesus Christ! Oh God, you are so big! Oh God fill me with the Holy Spirit! Now stick your finger up my butt!"

  5. About twenty years ago, my brother used to live in Tacoma, on the top floor of a quiet, peaceful four-floor, sixteen-apartment walkup. He had a completely sweet pitbull who was the joy of the building, beloved by all the other tenants.

    There were no problems until a derangededly-devout couple moved in, who took it upon themselves to purify the entire building - Things like calling the cops if a tenant parked the wrong way in front and left their motor running while running in to grab something, or leaving similar judgmental notes concerning modes of dress, personal beliefs or color of garbage cans (!) or, worst of all - My brother having a pit bull, which EVERY DECENT CHRISTIAN knew was a murderous beast owned only by drug dealers and serial killers. They called the cops at least five times bitching about the dog, demanding that he be put down merely for existing, which the cops refused to do.
    The other tenants got fed up pretty quick and started badgering the landlord to evict the couple - Who, it turned out was the brother of the jeebus-freak wife, and was completely cowed by her and her husband, and wouldn't lift a finger against them.

    After a few months of this, several of the other tenants began discussing what they could do - And my brother suggested that if they could put up with something much, much worse for a few weeks, he could get them to leave. He offered details, and the other tenants agreed.

    Starting next week, around 3:00 a.m., my brother would throw a metal garbage can or a bowling ball down the central stairwell, with the pit bull on them every inch of the way, howling and screaming, clawing at them all the way to the lobby - And, almost as quickly, retrieved and calmed down before the cops arrived, responding to the jesus-freaks' panicky 911 calls - And the rest of the tenants, when "roused" insisting to the cops "Nope - WE didn't hear anything. Quiet as a tomb 'round here, except for those two lyin'-ass trouble-making freaks", pointing to the furious bibble-pounders.
    After a few weeks, the cops stopped responding to their calls, the nightly rackets continued, and one day the religious lunatics were just - gone. Disappeared, without so much as a "god bless'. What rude people they were.

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