Theory of dick pic excellence

Madeleine Holden maintains Critique My Dick Pic [NSFW], a site where she offers to "critique your dick pics with love." After a season of looking at photos of strangers' penises, she has come up with a set of handy tips [NSFW] for people with penises who want to take photos of same.

The obvious question, then, is what makes a good dick pic? I’m often asked this, and I consistently repeat a few key tips: don’t send a log. Realize the power of your hands to transform a dick pic from ordinary to wettie-inducing. Pay attention to the background and setting of your picture, and understand how off-putting a visible pile of dirty laundry or extremely mundane collection of shower gels can be. Be aware that even a very small amount of thought and consideration for the desires of your receiver will set you apart from most dick pic senders, and take advantage of that by putting more than three second’s thought into the pose, composition and lighting of your picture. Having said that, though, it’s difficult to prescribe an ideal dick pic. Some of the most memorable pictures I’ve received I never saw coming. I wouldn’t have thought to recommend dusting your half-naked body with bone fragments, for example. 

What I've Learned From My Side Job Critiquing Dick Pics [Madeleine Holden/Hairpin] [NSFW]

(via JWZ)

(Photo: Bruxelles Manneken Pis.jpg, Myrabella/Wikimedia Commons, CC-BY-SA)

Notable Replies

  1. Or just use an instagram filter. If someone accuses "hey that guy mailed a picture of his dick to me" you can reply "that's not my dick, that's somebody's dick from 1972".

  2. Here ya go...

    Just overlay it.

  3. Ratel says:

    Dude. NSFW.

  4. mtdna says:

    My wife just walked in on me looking at this. I told her it was just a link from the BoingBoing website, which didn't help any because it sounds line a porn site.

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