Squicked out alien describes human sex

Here's a nice use of science fiction's trick of describing cherished human behaviors and institutions through the ironic distance of an alien observer: Mallory Ortberg's short story Erotica Written By An Alien Pretending Not To Be Horrified By The Human Body:

“Their mouths, which mere minutes before had been employed in the process of demolishing and ingesting various foodstuffs, were now jammed up damply against one another while still being used for breathing, which must have been more than a little uncomfortable.”

“Bits of one jammed into bits of the other, dangerously close to some of the weakest and most important internal organs.”

“With absolutely no regard for personal space, the two of them created an unnecessary amount of friction, generating sweat in the process.”

“Some sort of gel emerged.”

“One sat upon the other, like furniture that sneaks inside of your body.”

Erotica Written By An Alien Pretending Not To Be Horrified By The Human Body [Mallory Ortberg/The Toast]

(via JWZ)

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