Felipe Cruz mugshot, courtesy Pompano Beach, Florida police, via Sun-Sentinel.
A man tried to rob a Chase Bank in Pompano Beach, Florida on April 10. He selected a teller behind bulletproof glass who refused to give him money, and presented a robbery note with his demands: "Give me the 100s 50s 20s now. Do not set the alarm. Hurry!!!" When the teller rebuffed him, he ran away but left his stickup note behind.
His demands had been penned on the back of an online job application form, complete with the handwritten username of CRUZFELIPE36. It also included a password, Gioielli stated in a federal criminal complaint.
Police are still looking for Felipe Cruz.
An intoxicated and shirtless man in Westerly, RI opened fire on his neighbor’s home using corncobs he shot with his homemade PVC potato gun. Drunk Rhode Island Man, while we do not condone your actions, we salute you for Making America Potato Gun Again.
A very bad man in Maine is charged with a very weird murder. Prosecutors say Bruce Akers used a machete to try and decapitate a neighbor (is “nearly decapitating” worse? because that’s what happened), then buried the victim’s remains together with the partially decomposed carcasses of deer he killed previously. Yep.
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